I am not able to control myself!!

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by :)-keepsmiling, Jul 19, 2020.

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  1. :)-keepsmiling

    :)-keepsmiling Fapstronaut

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    Can someone please help me overcome my situation.
    Hi! I am 17 years old and a student. I have a dream that i really wanna be but my addiction and my compulsive behaviours have ruined me.
    Today i relapsed in vain. I started my streak this morning and things were fine. I planned for the day for my studies. But the plan did not work out. I had brain fog all the time when i studied and it seemed as though i was forcing myself to study a lot which i have passion for. I think all the negative thoughts hid all that passion.
    I order to overcome my brain fog i started too meditate with a time for 10 mins. I was relieved from it but during the process of studying i got hit with brain fog. This happened contineously and i could not handel those urges in me so i gave myself in. I relapsed oncemore.
    Mastrubation has become a very big issue for me which was not the case before. It is killing me. I feel like i am developing ED and i am not having a good time.
    Overall this this the same thing i go through everyday and i am not able to change this.
    I really am in need of help!!!!. Thanks for reading.!!!!!!
     
  2. https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/90-days-and-tips-long-read.279354/

    Here is a post I did on all the things that I find help me.

    One thing I missed out though, and for me a KEY part of overcoming this addiction is to get rid of the smartphone and move you devices you use to watch porn into a space occupied by others, or you can be seen clearly from the outside to deter you from just jerking. Your smart phone and devices will be big parts of your problem, they're too accessible and that's a real problem for those with porn or sex addictions. If you have work to do, head to the library or somewhere far away from your jerking spot. Its not gonna help if you're in the spot you associate with your viewing all the time, especially when you have work to do.

    I hope this information helps!
     
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  3. obi64

    obi64 Fapstronaut

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    Use cold showers! I know cold showers is scary but I've been using them to fight my addiction for awhile now and they work. When that urge is strong and you can't handle it jump into the cold shower and see the difference afterwards yourself.

    The only time i would not recommend cold showers is if you have a mental condition that's stopping you.

    But if it's fear stopping you, you need to push yourself to do it. It won't be easy the first day or maybe not even the second day but the more you do it the easier it's going to become.

    Also, cold showers has many other benefits that you can read on just to motivate you to start taking them. Just google "benefits of cold showers"
     
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  4. For me, in a nutshell, these things have helped:

    1) Choose decisively to make a change.

    It takes will-power. A half-hearted effort will never succeed. Make a choice and determinedly stick with it.

    2) Control my thoughts.

    I don't let myself even think about the thing I am choosing not to do. It is not an option, so why think about it. If you let yourself think about giving in to the temptation, it is a bit like trying to stop the car after it is already rolling down the mountain. Don't let it start rolling!

    3) Avoid stimulants.

    For me, this means spicy foods and eggs. As a vegetarian, I don't eat meat--but that would also be something to tone down on for at least the first month of changing one's sexual habits, since meat contains animal hormones which stimulate and increase desire. For those who drink, alcohol would be something to lay aside as well. Avoiding stimulants just makes it easier, but the real cure is in #1 and #2 above.

    4) Don't compromise.

    Don't assume that you can let yourself go part-way towards your temptation and yet keep yourself from crossing the line, or that you can quit gradually. Yes, this is a little like #2 above, but it differs in that it includes the idea of stopping completely all at once: it will simply not work to try to decrease the failures a little at a time until they disappear. With habits like this, cold turkey will usually work best. (There are some exceptions where one has heart problems and suffers severe withdrawal symptoms which can induce heart racing or palpitations. This rarely applies, especially to young people. Basically, if you think you're experiencing any issues of this nature, consult your physician.)

    5) Keep busy!

    Do something productive. Do not allow yourself to have idle time in which it will be more difficult to avoid letting your mind run in forbidden channels. Get some exercise outdoors. Spend time with friends. Go shopping. Clean your room or home. Etc.

    I hope this helps.
     
  5. :)-keepsmiling

    :)-keepsmiling Fapstronaut

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    I really appreciate you all. Thank you!
     
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  6. Ferritin

    Ferritin Fapstronaut

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    What I do most of time during my urges is work out. Preferably outside, like the back yard for 30minutes+.

    You can go for a run. Or a long walk. It always works. Your mind is taken off the urge when your jog in the great outdoors. And your focus tends to be on completing it.

    Get yourself some work. This might not be plausible at most times of the day. But if you can do it at the time of the urge, just do it.

    Go amongst people, say, your friends or mates of yours you find around who wouldn't mind you being a part of their sitting.

    These work for me, I don't know about you but try them out.

    Sorry Pal, I understand how hurting it must be to relapse. How helpful it'll be that you had some sort of a time machine to go back in time and change the very situation that brought you to PMO into the first place. I pray we all get off this addiction.
     
  7. Prince6543

    Prince6543 Fapstronaut

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    See brother. Even a 5 year old can understand.
    Masturbating is not the way to quit masturbating. Either do it or leave it. Don't hang in between. Take NoFap like getting in military, once you join, you can't leave for long
     
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  8. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    R u exercising?
     
  9. Ricardo26

    Ricardo26 Fapstronaut

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    What do you mean heart problems
     
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  10. Bethelightinmyheart

    Bethelightinmyheart Fapstronaut

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    I can't control myself either when I decide to relapse. Up until this point I have a sense of self-control and discipline.
     
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  11. :)-keepsmiling

    :)-keepsmiling Fapstronaut

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    Thanks mate. Thanks for the advise. WE CAN GET RID OF THIS ADDICTION!!!
     
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  12. :)-keepsmiling

    :)-keepsmiling Fapstronaut

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    Yes i have started exercising but not that intense!:)
    But i will increase the intensity over time!
    Thanks for asking!!
     
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  13. :)-keepsmiling

    :)-keepsmiling Fapstronaut

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    I guess we all shouldn't loose HOPE!!! This is something that is destroying. We will have to recover!
     
  14. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    Start slow and sooner or later you will start seeing the difference.
     
    :)-keepsmiling likes this.
  15. You may wish to read up on withdrawal symptoms. Most sites won't directly reference withdrawal from orgasms, but they will address withdrawal from other known and more well-studied stimulants, like alcohol. The essential brain chemistry for addiction related to dopamine, however, is the same. Here is one site which describes the type of more severe symptoms that can develop for someone with a heavy addiction who stops suddenly (alcohol in this case).

    https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322373#symptoms

    I have experienced a mild case of the heart-racing and sweating part myself, though, fortunately, never a heart attack--and this was simply withdrawal from sex. I've never drunk alcohol in my life.
     
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  16. Ricardo26

    Ricardo26 Fapstronaut

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    So do you mean masturbation cause heart attack
     
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  17. domasfernandez

    domasfernandez Fapstronaut

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    I'm facing the same situation but I'm trying to control myself. If you want to talk you can private text me. I can understand you because I'm going through the same
     
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  18. No, I don't mean that..at least, not exactly. One of the possible withdrawal symptoms, i.e. from stopping the habit, can potentially be a heart attack. Personally, I think this would be an extreme and unlikely case, and it would involve someone older than about 45 who was masturbating and/or having sex at least once or twice every day and who then suddenly stopped, cold turkey. For me, my most severe withdrawal symptoms occurred about a week after having no sex at all--and it included such agitation as forced me to go out and take a walk. I had a mild case of the heart palpitations at that time. It is likely that it might have been more severe had I been accustomed to daily sex, but it was more like once every two-three days. I believe the withdrawal symptoms were worsened for me, however, because I was that day anticipating the return of my wife, and felt I could hardly wait. In retrospect, it would have been best to keep my mind occupied on other themes. Perhaps I would not have experienced the withdrawal symptoms had my mind stayed firmly in other channels. Nonetheless, the withdrawal symptoms were more than just mental agitation--they were certainly physical phenomena as well.
     
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  19. ShadowFiend

    ShadowFiend Fapstronaut

    First of all. CALM YOURSELF!!!
     
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  20. ahighertruth

    ahighertruth Fapstronaut

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    Your problem is not in self control but its your addiction to pornography. You think because you are feeling some type of way that porn is the outlet. Eliminate that thought and it will be much easier to quit. What is it if your horny? Feeling the urge? whatever...Just let it be. Before you discover porn you were doing that, weren't you?
     
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