I am not Quitting.

Ninjacan · Oct 1, 2015

You want to know something about me? I am a quitter. All of my life, I quit everything I ever tried. When I was a kid and I wanted to learn to skateboard, it was hard, I wasn't good at it, and I quit. I wanted to learn to play guitar and I quit. I had a really hard time in college, I tried to stick with it, but inevitably I dropped out. I'm a lifelong quitter.

As of yesterday, I was 75 days clean from PMO. Just that in itself is a victory. But I realized after being on NoFap for a while and asking some questions to you guys here, that if I want to change my habits, I need to stop the M O part all together, so I can really reboot, and then go forward from there. Yesterday, I had a victory and a small defeat. I am really struggling to avoid the M. It feels like my body is screaming at me to do it, but I have to resist. While going through that, I got sucked into looking at some pictures of a facebook contact in a bikini, once I clicked on the first picture in the gallery, it was probably less than a minute before I scrolled through the entire 35 photos. My body is just yelling at me, pushing me, wanting the M. But I resisted, I stopped, I closed the page, and I continued my day.

I felt sick to my stomach after that, I felt sick for the rest of the entire day, because I knew on some level, I had given in to some desire. And along with that comes all those emotions all of us know, the shame, the guilt, feeling weak, and above all what made me feel sick was the fear of my wife's reaction. This was a victory for me in my battle. I stayed on target, no P no M no O. But I know she won't see it that way, she will only see the negative action, and extrapolate from that point. I'm going behind her back, that I'm not serious about us, that I can't change, etc etc, down that spiral.. and those thoughts destroy me.

So after all the work I've done, after all the progress I've made. Sadly, I've decided to count it as a loss, and reset my P counter. But I am not quitting. I refuse to. I will never stop this fight. And I will never quit on my life, my wife, or my family. We keep fighting. 75 days was my previous achievement. 76 days is my next goal. This is day 1.

Jimb0 · Oct 1, 2015

You say you are a quitter but are you really a quitter? You just said you refuse to quit so how does that make you a quitter? I think you're being harder on yourself than you really need to be. In this day and age so many of us are sucked into porn and MO. We are only human and for some of us our impulses are tougher to resist than others.

I don't see you as a quitter but as an incredibly strong and intelligent person. Any regular guy would have given up. The fact that you wrote down your thoughts to share and you came on here and reseted your counter took so much courage. I remember when I relapsed before I didn't want to sign on because I'd look like a failure. But you're not that. NoFap is not a process that's beaten in the first try. Did Roger Federer (Best Tennis Player in the World) give up when he lost his first major? Did Kobe Bryant say he's a failure when he lost his first championship? Hell no. They get back up and they fight because they believe they are fuckin' champs! And there they are, winning so many championships. They are no different from us. They just get back up and believe in themselves and get what they want. Like them, you are fuckin' amazing in my eyes! You won't give up because you know what you want! That's why I know you'll be successful with NoFap! You're a beast and you're incredible. Let's do this!

Just wanted to add:

Never let anyone tell you you're a failure. At the end of the day only you can believe in yourself. Don't pay attention to negative external forces. You are what you think and if your thinking is negative then you too will be negative. That's why it's important never to believe anything negative about yourself. What you told yourself is true. You are victorious in your first attempt at 75 days. When have you done that before? Were you not better in those 75 days than the previous you?

When I say you are amazing I truly believe that. We all can achieve anything we want in life. You are no different in that aspect.

Good luck.

Squeaky Soul · Oct 2, 2015

Beware!

Avoid the downward spiral you may have put yourself in looking at those bikini pictures. It is important to stay very vigilant and strict with yourself these next few days!

You're not a quitter anymore! You've chosen to keep going! Look in the mirror, and tell yourself that every morning, night, our whenever you're in front of a mirror.

We believe in you!

-Squeaky Soul

Ninjacan · Oct 2, 2015

Jimb0 said: ↑

You say you are a quitter but are you really a quitter? You just said you refuse to quit so how does that make you a quitter? I think you're being harder on yourself than you really need to be. In this day and age so many of us are sucked into porn and MO. We are only human and for some of us our impulses are tougher to resist than others.

I don't see you as a quitter but as an incredibly strong and intelligent person. Any regular guy would have given up. The fact that you wrote down your thoughts to share and you came on here and reseted your counter took so much courage. I remember when I relapsed before I didn't want to sign on because I'd look like a failure. But you're not that. NoFap is not a process that's beaten in the first try. Did Roger Federer (Best Tennis Player in the World) give up when he lost his first major? Did Kobe Bryant say he's a failure when he lost his first championship? Hell no. They get back up and they fight because they believe they are fuckin' champs! And there they are, winning so many championships. They are no different from us. They just get back up and believe in themselves and get what they want. Like them, you are fuckin' amazing in my eyes! You won't give up because you know what you want! That's why I know you'll be successful with NoFap! You're a beast and you're incredible. Let's do this!

Just wanted to add:

Never let anyone tell you you're a failure. At the end of the day only you can believe in yourself. Don't pay attention to negative external forces. You are what you think and if your thinking is negative then you too will be negative. That's why it's important never to believe anything negative about yourself. What you told yourself is true. You are victorious in your first attempt at 75 days. When have you done that before? Were you not better in those 75 days than the previous you?

When I say you are amazing I truly believe that. We all can achieve anything we want in life. You are no different in that aspect.

Good luck.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I guess I mean I've felt like a quitter all my life previously, but I don't want to be like that anymore. And I really did used to think of myself as a failure for a long long time too. Trying to turn that around.

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I am not Quitting.

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