I think i am finally ready to start my journey. i have made many posts on nofap before they are ususly depressing and for good reason. i always relapse 3 to 4 times a day to shit like porn, femdom, hentai and recently to futunari. yes i feel disgust yet i always return to it because my brain is always tricking me and i am dumb enough to fall for it no matter what. i read somwere a great quote "YOU WILL EITHER SUFFER NOW OR LATER" this quote is right i have been prolonging my recovery for far too long. i wish i can take all this time back and start over that why i am starting now for my self. i said that i start many times only to fall back to this shit and it always lead to continuing this habit. will this time be any diffrent honestly i feel so, for one good reason. that reason is what i saw in a mirror today a faliure who relapses to sick shit. this addiction took enjoyment out of my life and many others. yes i did relapse today 4 times and now i feel like a waste of space because nothing brings me joy anymore and it will just get worse and worse i must remove it for good. no more half measures. everyday cold showers, meditation, healthy eating and find my self a hobby. if i feel urges i will leave the house and have fresh walk outside. do not have closed doors.