I am scared of talking to girls

Congratulations on your healthy life choices!

Impossible to say: do you get anxiety in other social scenarios aswell or just in regards to approaching, also known as approach anxiety. Very normal - no one, no man, likes or enjoys getting rejected. Also what kind of girls are you approaching, the ones you think are hot or just any girl that spark some interest.

 

Study body language with a book , study some skills of a good communication (what to say , how to not be creepy) , then try to approach lots of people (old and young people) , then you got this

 

Surprisingly, charisma is something that can be learned. I was born an extrovert, but I know introverts who are doing much better than me socially anyways- just like riding a bike, it's something you learn, fail a lot at the beginning, then it becomes so natural you almost never fail. Educate thyself.
This channel is the best thing that has happened to me popularity-wise. I went from a shut-in with only a couple of friends I barely talked with to one of the most popular guys in my school. Don't be afraid to fall, and especially don't take to heart what others think of you.

https://www.youtube.com/user/charismaoncommand

 

Start making friends with guys who smash a lot of chicks go out to clubs with them and talk to everybody the bouncers, bartenders, the guy at the pizza shop be friendly and most importantly talk to girls. You can start indirect and say something like " I like your outfit" "i like your dress" "what color is that?" make small talk then let her know you think shes sexy and get her number talking to girls is nothing its really just a numbers game the more you talk to them the more you smash but its a VERY!! low percentage good luck

 

Your scared to talk to women because you are intimidated by them, its a common side effect of lack of sexual experience. Theres only one cure for it... you guessed it... talking to them.

 

Fear will always be there.

 

Remember that even the girl that you find the hottest is a normal human being like you and everyone else. This includes throwing up and farting when no one is looking. Not the best thing you want to hear, but it helped me maybe it’ll help you.

 

By being a confident guy. Confident takes place everywhere. It can easily crush your social anxiety just like it did for me. Coming to talking to girls, just talk like you talk with other people. Not a big deal.

 

Well, that's a good thing to not to talk to girls because you may not know if they have evil spirits inside of them. That's called Jezebel/succubus that takes your energy are called energy vampires. Plus, you don't want to have wet dreams at night because of the fantasies over females you just talked to during the day.

 

Hey man, well done on the positive changes. You are doing great stuff that many would be too lazy to even attempt. Well done.

On the issue with girls, just remember that they are just like us. Normal human beings with thoughts, desires, dreams, insecurities ect. Some guys look at a nice looking girl and just think that she is hot shit and must know it. The truth is these girls sometimes can feel ugly and unwanted too. And they need companionship just like us. Just talk to them normally without any underlining motives. Get to know them. If there is no attraction make them a friend so you have the value of female friendship. If there is attraction express it in a healthy way and don't be afraid of rejection. It's better to be turned done then wondering what could of been if you tried.
Good luck mo chara.

 

Women are human beings like us all so don't try to view them as something else that will only make your anxiety worse.

I fear that too often we are programmed to target women as objectives as if every one is a potential opportunity for sex and intimacy and that only increases anxiety. If there's somebody you know from like work (Not somebody you have a crush on) just spark up a conversation (it doesn't have to be flirtatious) just casual conversation if you two get talking great, then next time you cross paths you can greet her and make small talk, if she's not even interested in casual conversation she's just one person there are millions of other people to start a conversation with. Once you get used to talking to different people regularly you'd realise how much your anxiety holds you back.

And well done for quitting PMO and losing weight that definitely helps decrease anxiety too.

 

just relax talk and think positive best way to loss anxiety

 

@greenboy_01 Do more things and you'll gain perspective. Also nofap could help. I was very low inhib after a certain amount of days.

 

Best I got for ya is: Just get in there,my dude. Put yourself in that situation willingly. And by that position, I mean the position where you're forced to talk to girls. Don't let your imagination go too far now.

 

Wtf???? Succubus ?? Your watching to much Witcher 3

 

Dont think to much and relax , try stoicism

 

Why are they scary to you? Because they're unknown / unfamiliar / unpredictable / uncertain to you. Why are they unknown to you? Because you lack the experience. Circumstances are made not to matter as much by experiencing them. Why do you lack experience? Because you're scared of the unknown.

You cope / conserve / protect yourself from that unknown by tensing up. By resisting the negative assumptions that you're going to get hurt. That you'll experience emotional volatility. That anxiety is basically you becoming excessively cautious / extremely careful in order to prevent possible negative experiences. You can't have possible positive experiences without risking the possible negative experiences. That's why something like instagram models / porn is so attractive to most people. Because it allows them to experience what they think is a guaranteed positive experience without the risks. Your anxiety is basically your way to resist the reality that you might get hurt. That things might not go your way. That you might get rejected / fail / make mistakes / embarrass yourself.

Instead of facing these fears in order to forge emotional intelligence / mental strength / experience with various circumstances, you avoid it and wait around for guarantees of positive experiences that require no risks on your part. That's the anxiety that keeps you torn between wanting to experience positive experiences, but aren't willing to commit to the reality that you also have to experience negative ones. So you freeze and avoid these experiences all together.

This is also why the "nofap attraction superpowers" are attractive to the people on this forum. Because they think they will just come to them without any risks on their part. That they will be so magically attracted that you couldn't possibly do any mistakes to drive them away. That they don't have to face adversity. Nofap just gets you to the starting line where all the fears you've been avoiding have accumulated and have been waiting for you. It's not a magic fix for your anxiety or your fear of girls.

Porn is instant gratification. You can have all the pleasure you want without the risks.

Facing your fears with girls is delayed gratification. Your desire for real experiences has to be greater than your avoidance of fear / emotional volatility / mistakes / failure / rejection.

As for your anxiety... practice letting go of control. Let things go wrong. Learn to be more emotional intelligent when you get hurt. Learn to relax in the unknown where things might not work in your favor. You have to become comfortable with possible negative experiences in order to have the best chances of possible positive experiences. You get that comfort by facing discomfort many many many times. It's that avoidance and resistance to discomfort that keeps you afraid.

Good luck.

 

first, is a wonderfull thought by you who think about your problem

i mean if u are still addicted to fap and porn then, i dare to say u didnt even think about this problem its mean u think and want to improve,,,for that u must be grateful

secondly, i was scared too when talking to a girl, later when i read a book i found that the main problem is
1. our expectation toward a woman must be change,,, dont fantasize woman too much,, woman is a human creature like us "man", if u as a "man" felt that is ok to talk with other human then i guess its no different to em

2. exercise, exercise by say hi to a stranger, its not have to be a woman,, man woman anyone,,,but do not say hi to complete strager when u walking down the street...just do this for example,,, when u go to groceries say hi and smile when the cashier count ur thing's follow with small talk (just one small talk and not exagerate it) like the weather is nice today isnt it? or when u fuel your vehicle talk to the employee there, say is this gas station open for 24 hour? u know small talk like that. with that exercise u build ur confidence to talk with other people, i usually do the groceries one because the cashier/frontline are often a woman and she/he must keep their service to customer so the chance u get bad experience or a let donw on this is often low (depend on the country tho)

hope it helped sorry for the english