1. We currently have a backlog of 15,837 pending new accounts stuck in the spam filter. For now, we've turned off forum registrations. We currently do not have the resources to accept new users.
    Dismiss Notice

I am terrified. Need help urgently.

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Warrior053626, Mar 25, 2023.

  1. Warrior053626

    Warrior053626 New Fapstronaut

    I am an 18yr old male. I am addicted to porn since when I was 13. I started with normal porn. Like porn pics of women. Then I started to watch porn videos. then gradually this addiction got worse.

    I found hentai. Then I jerked off almost three times a day. then I developed a fetish for tits and ass. mostly ass and hips
    Then I jerked off for a year for this fetish.

    Then I had this thought about having sex with horses .it was an instant turn-on for me. Then I jerked off to it several times. As this is disturbing enough. I developed another disturbing fetish. I jerked off to sex dolls. sometimes small-sized sex dolls. and I felt extreme guilt. but that doesn't stop me. It still got worse.

    I found the hell hole for pornography. I found rule 34. Then every single day. I spend hours on that site. Then jerk off to every video. and also to some zoophilia stuff.

    When I was 16. I was completely desensitized. Everything in my life felt boring. My brain was very foggy. but continued masturbating. until now.

    I developed an interest in femboy sex stories. but I was straight from the start.
    I jerked off only to the woman in random vids. and girls in my school. but then when I read those femboy stories. And seeing comments about getting fucked by men.
    I got turned on. then I had fantasies about giving blowjobs to men. not every man. but only certain ones. but still I masturbated to women.

    Then one night I had this intense urge. The urge was unnatural. the thought of giving a blow job to these certain men was very intense. I jerked off two times without a refractory period. But I couldn't control myself. I still read femboy stories. the story of boys being bottom. And even watched femboy videos in rule 34.

    Sometimes I assumed the role of top. but that wasn't as arousing as being bottom.
    Just after I masturbated to these fantasies. I felt the worst fucking guilt. I felt like lost my manhood. I was trying to cry but I couldn't.

    Then I searched on google." can a person turn gay due to porn?". Then I found out about porn escalation.

    So the week was worse. I had fantasies about me being a girl. And having sex with men. The guilt after I masturbated to these fantasies was unbearable. But still, I could jerk off to girls. But it isn't as arousing. I felt like I am losing interest in girls. I was terrified for the first time in my life.

    So yesterday I went to my relations house.
    For their marriage. There were also girls my age. I had this normal attraction to girls. But if I tried to sexualize them. I struggled to have an erection. but I only got a little sensation in my penis. So tried to see if I find men attractive. But I didn't find them attractive at all .no interest in them. But when I see them. I have this feeling. Like fear. Of what if I found them attractive?

    Then I went to the bride grooms house.
    I had this feeling. Like I don't know how to describe it. It was fear mixed with guilt. I cried internally but acted like I am happy outside. I was devastated. I never wanted this. Never.

    But I had this little hope. It might be an escalation. My escalation to zoophilia stuff was just like this. I had this same intense urge. But it went away. just like that I am hoping this will go away too.

    This is my first time writing posts like this.
    I am not a native speaker. So I apologize for my bad English.

    The last thing I wanted to ask is. Does anyone have had fetish like this?and how are u now doing ?
  2. Beachguy759

    Beachguy759 Fapstronaut

    Porn-induced fantasies are not the same as your individual self-defined healthy sexual behavior. Porn can get you aroused about all kinds of things that you may not actually want to do (or enjoy if you tried it). Go easy on yourself and don't feel bad. Feeling bad feeds the cycle and makes you want to use more. If you can stay off porn, your natural attractions will emerge.
    Neva, Tryingto and (deleted member) like this.
  3. Tryingto

    Tryingto Fapstronaut

    Same as @Dodgeitall - 100% agreement.

    These are words worth heeding, @Warrior053626.
    Feelin' and Dodgeitall like this.
  4. 500

    500 Fapstronaut

    I read a post on here before… our existence is the result of thousand or possibly hundreds of millions of years of evolution

    or, if you are a believer in God, we are a creation of the creator.

    No amount of porn in the world can change us 100%, beneath the addiction, there still lies our true self.

    You can re-access your true self again
    Feelin' likes this.

Share This Page