I am under 18 and really need help

Tell someone you know. Your parents, a teacher, a relative.

If you're young, you might feel like you're the only one who feels the way you feel and that you could never feel differently, but you can!

 

Grief is so complicated. I cannot imagine losing a brother and almost losing another. I can imagine the depression and desire to escape, and I know that PMO is an escape from reality. We know that it does not fix our problems, but, for a brief moment, we think about something else. Then we wake up worse for what we have done. We are still grieving, and, on top of that, we feel so guilty. Hope you can resolve your depression in a healthier way.
Is there any way you can help your brother get help? Suicide is the worst escape. Could you get him to go with you to see a counselor? How old is he? Can you talk with a school counselor?

 

I recognize that not everybody cares for religion, even less for Christianity, Jesus is always there for those who struggle and are weary. He can help you, in whatever trials you face, He can help you. The choice is always up to you, but if you would like to learn more, I can refer you to the online church I go to and there you may find information, guidance, support or whatever else you might need.

 

Hey man, I'm really sorry for your loss and your struggles. I have had 4 major surgeries in 3 years and I'm only 23. I have not been able to walk properly for 4 years now. I only realised my porn addiction late last year. Firstly you have 5 years on me and have realised you have a problem so you've beaten me there by miles. Fighting this is an unbelievably rewarding challenge and gives me a reason to keep persevering. Also, finding a sense of spirituality has really helped me. Maybe it's a psychological trick and might not be real but heck it helps so much to think that's there is something bigger than yourself out there and maybe we all have spirits that are more important than what's on earth. Give it a go man. Might help in keeping you happy in life but under no circumstance do you give up. You were put on this earth for a reason so keep on searching for it!

 

Spirituality and religion is very different. I don't allow other people to tell me how to live my life or follow a belief because people tell me too. spirituality is about getting in touch with yourself. Finding your spirit if you will. Finding out who you are and living the way you feel life should be lived. When you are exposed to negative things it pulls you down, "damages" your spirit. Doing positive things build your spirit. You don't need to think of your spirit as a mystical thing but rather just how you are feeling about life. Your life force. You can be broke and filled with spirit and what a great life. You can also be filthy rich and poisoned by greed and selfishness and have a very damaged spirit. Try and find ways to build your spirit. Mine is Swimming in the sea, working out, making people happy and loving my Girlfriend (who is absolutely amazing). Never give up on trying to build your spirit back up.

 

@Kingdd, sorry that your dad was abusive. That really complicates life for everybody around him and warps everything. If he was driven by his twisted form of Christianity it makes it even more messed up, especially for his sons. Christianity is not really about guilt and punishment, but lots of people get hung up there. Something similar can happen here with people beating themselves up when they relapse and thinking that they have arrived when they give up PMO, but never get to good relationships with others. We are working towards getting into a full life with good friends, a spouse and kids. That takes more than keeping your hand out of your pants and your screen clean. You have to get out and mix it up with others. So you play a lot of pickle ball, other games, talk & listen, share and eventually commit.
At home, are you now the big brother? That would be another load. Even if he is older, if you can go out with your brother and play, you are on your way developing your fathering skills. Good fatherhood is not abusive, but supportive and encouraging. You will see some of those skills demonstrated on NoFap.
You will finish out your school year better by not wasting time and energy on PMO. It will also help you enjoy your summer as you spend time on things that don't rot your brain.

 

Underneath your posts there is a small pencil and the word "Edit." You can click on it and correct spelling errors and make other changes. In this case, you would have lost some humor.

 

Sorry to hear about your abusive parent. That sort of thing can ruin a child's life. Don't let it hinder you though, also don't judge all Christianity by the actions of one, or maybe even groups of Christians. There are all kinds of secs and denominations out there. Your beliefs are always your choice, but, if you want to learn more, I can suggest a site that has been great for me, just let me know. Otherwise, be blessed, and I hope your endeavors with NoFap prove to be successful.

 

I'm sorry for your loss and I can't imagine what it's like to lose a sibling and almost another one. I do, however, feel like relapsing when grieving will make you feel good only in the moment, and may make you feel
Guilty and worse afterwards. That has been my experience. If you need a friend, feel free to reply or send me a message. I am a college senior in psychology, so I might be able to help you find more resources or help provide insight for you. Take care of yourself.

 

Well, first off, there have been many articles posted about how porn and sex addiction ativiates the same areas of the brain as addictions to hard drugs, like heroin. I think it's helpful to think about why you are having the feelings of wanting to relapse, not just that you want to. Are you bored, depressed, getting a sexual urge, etc? That can help provide counteractions for specific symptoms. I think journaling helps, even if you just write things in your phone. Writing things down can help you realize what's realing on your mind, and it helps, even if no one else ever reads it. I think it's a good idea to have hopeful thoughts about what you want your life to be like without pmo, like picturing it in your mind. It is also important to remember that any type of addiction is on a spectrum, and treatments and things that help may only be helpful for certain people and on a certain point on the spectrum. Hope things helps. Feel free to send me a message any time if you want to talk more.

 

Anybody that judges here is really judging themselves. We all started this for the same reason, so we can't hide or act like we are perfect. Sharing speeds the process. Trying to keep up an image slows it to a crawl. Jesus said something about having to be like little children to get into his kingdom. It didn't go over with the proud rule keepers, but I think he had something. Little kids let it all hang out, keep trying, and improve quickly.
What do you do in neurology? Do you have any useful insights of the effects of dopamine or ways to replace the urges? I am curious about how you work in neurology at the age of 14.
LDS has a variety of branches. Sorry you found yourself on an abusively strict one. There are lots of other options. Sadly, few churches have the openness that you will find here. Too many are either established museums of those who do it right or drive through feel good quick stops on the side of life. I would encourage you to look for a healthy community where you could be open without being judged.