I am really afraid that what I did was relapse behavior. So about 7-8 minutes ago I had this HUGE urge that caused me to get a boner. I was contemplating relapse and sexual fantasy was flooding my head. I didn’t want to relapse, but at the same time I did. The urge to just grab my duck and give in was extreme. My heart was racing and I had that dopamine rush. But I didn’t. I managed to hold out. luckily... However, When I was mid urge I had pulled my pants down to avoid my boner pushing against my pants and giving me pleasure. After a minute I don’t know if my brain wanted to get pleasure from it or not but I pulled my pants up and felt the pressure. It wasn’t pleasurable but the fact that I did it in hopes of pleasure was concerning. Is any of this a relapse? It’s day 38 and I managed to get passed the urge but the fact that I pulled my pants up and my boner was upside pressing on my pants (the non pleasurable part) i don’t know, what is this?