I came so close :( is this a relapse? Or trigger testing

[Pathofsuccess_1]

I am really afraid that what I did was relapse behavior.

So about 7-8 minutes ago I had this HUGE urge that caused me to get a boner. I was contemplating relapse and sexual fantasy was flooding my head. I didn’t want to relapse, but at the same time I did. The urge to just grab my duck and give in was extreme. My heart was racing and I had that dopamine rush. But I didn’t. I managed to hold out. luckily...

However, When I was mid urge I had pulled my pants down to avoid my boner pushing against my pants and giving me pleasure. After a minute I don’t know if my brain wanted to get pleasure from it or not but I pulled my pants up and felt the pressure. It wasn’t pleasurable but the fact that I did it in hopes of pleasure was concerning.

Is any of this a relapse? It’s day 38 and I managed to get passed the urge but the fact that I pulled my pants up and my boner was upside pressing on my pants (the non pleasurable part) i don’t know, what is this?

 

[Gambler Kaiji]

It'll be up to you if you want to reset your counter or not. You didn't full on PMO and you didn't do this continuously to the point of ejaculation from what you're giving me. Write it off as a moment of weakness. Learn from it, and do better. It's pretty much a start and stop before orgasm, I don't count that as a relapse. More like you almost fapped and decided against it on the edge. In the end though you didn't do it, and that is the part you should focus on the most.

 

[Monarch77]

When intense urges hit, these moments of near relapse are pretty much unavoidable. What matters most is which side wins the struggle, your willpower or your brain wanting to give in. You held out and didn't let it win. To me, you didn't relapse.