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I can’t quit porn and masturbation

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by DannyB96, May 10, 2021.

  1. DannyB96

    DannyB96 New Fapstronaut

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    So I didn’t think it would come to this but here I am on a forum seeking help for my addiction...
    I’m 24 yrs old and have been watching porn and masturbating since I was 12. I’ve masturbated and watched porn almost every day since. There’s been phases where It was multiple times a day. The longest I’ve ever gone without either was 14 days. I’m truly addicted. I’ve tried at least a 1000 times to quit but every time I’m about 4-5 days in, my compulsion takes over and I give in. It’s a secret that no one knows... not even my girlfriend. I want to quit once and for all to gain my dignity back and to experience the amazing benefits of semen retention. If you have advice, please feel free to drop a comment. Thanks
     
    Christoph108 and Capt_Zero like this.
  2. DannyB96

    DannyB96 New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the detailed response, those are great tips. I think I’m gonna start a journal like you said to keep myself accountable. I’m a very disciplined person but this is the one thing that I’ve never been able to overcome. But I’m fucking done fapping to pixels on a screen. It’s already bad enough that I have to accept the fact that I’ll have to look back on my life knowing that this was my reality...

    It’s time level up and become my highest self.
     
    Christoph108 and MindfulWarrior like this.
  3. Capt_Zero

    Capt_Zero Fapstronaut

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    Hey, I’m actually in a similar boat as you. I’m 24 as well but because of my addiction my fiancé has left me and I understand what you’re going through. I went on a 9 streak month of no porn before I fell back again, after that it was 6 months and then back again. Right now I’m struggling again and I’ve been going back to porn.

    My advice for you? Stay resilient. No matter what just know that we all make mistakes. I would also suggest to have a positive mindset, a goal. Something you can work towards and feel good about. Self control and discipline go a long way, But don’t forget to have some love for yourself.
     
    Christoph108 likes this.
  4. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

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    The key is to distract yourself and do something else at the moment you feel those urges. It can be difficult but it will save you.
     
    Christoph108 likes this.
  5. 3nigma

    3nigma Fapstronaut

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    The key is to focus on kicking porn and then only when you have that under control do you kick masturbation. Make a vow to yourself never to look at porn again and then don’t. Just don’t. I haven’t looked at porn even once in about 3 years. I’ve had my ups and downs with masturbation — including a 1 and 1/2 yr streak — but at least I’m not supporting that vile industry anymore. It feels good to say that none of my current devices have ever been used for porn. They’re completely clean.
     
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  6. alexandrebois

    alexandrebois Fapstronaut

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    The secret is to wait for 2 Weeks
    After the 2 Weeks the urges will be gone for ever =)

    Just wait 2 weeks
     
    Christoph108 likes this.
  7. PeaceOnEarth108

    PeaceOnEarth108 Fapstronaut

    MindfulWarrior likes this.
  8. PeaceOnEarth108

    PeaceOnEarth108 Fapstronaut

    @DannyB96 Wikipedia suggests
    • therapy
    • addiction recovery groups
    • endurance exercise
     
  9. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

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    I’ve been tempted in the past few days before going to bed, but have resisted each time. I’ve never woken up and thought “I wish I relapsed last night.” I’m thankful I didn’t. The streak is more important.
     
    Christoph108 likes this.
  10. I'm big on timing, which I think is a factor many do not qualify for. A lot of people make good points, but you have to distinguish between what to do at the beginning of the process, later on in a different phase and then there are things you always keep in the back of your mind. Actually, there are good things to do as far as timing throughout the course of a day too. For example have you considered whether you relapse more in the morning or in the evening? That's a big clue right there. The logical question to ask then is how do you prevent either morning or evening relapse if there's a clear pattern of one or the other? Over the last couple of years it seems a lot of people in this community has become keen on sleep hygiene which is a big factor, I personally try to integrate an element of timing throughout my day. Without looking at details at this point that's basically a matter of intermittent fasting and sleep hygiene, though I am starting to integrate more things like a consistent morning routine with a little bit of exercise. There's a lot of details that you can tweak to optimize this and while there are always more direct urges I encourage you not to only look at the most obvious and short term stuff.

    Put it this way: Your mental state determines the vulnerability to PMO, sleep or lack of it largely informs your mental state, timing of various daily activities largely informs your quality of sleep, therefore that makes the time details relevant.
     
  11. Julian Baker

    Julian Baker Distinguished Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    I recommend looking at and adjusting your mindset and the language you use to communicate with yourself. It's easy to get caught up in negative self-beliefs which support this idea that you "can't quit". You saying that is a self-fulfilling prophecy that you are clearly living out. To change those thinking and acting behaviours takes effort and a willingness to face personal discomforts be they physical, mental or emotional. Something you can start practising is 'delaying gratification' with not only acting out, but also things like peeing, eating and sleeping too. Get used to experience uncomfortable situations, as it will build your resilience when it comes the times you run towards PMO.

    A common trait of people who act out is they tend to avoid their 'feelings, but it's important to remember that feelings want to be felt, or else we wouldn't have them. It's what being human is about. When you practice delaying gratification and expose yourself to bodily feelings, you start shifting the way you traditionally respond to uncomfortable feelings, and that's often by acting out.

    Another practice that will greatly support your efforts to 'just be' with yourself, is meditation. A lot of people conger up excuses as to why they don't meditate, and of course, meditation isn't right for everyone, but unless you have serious mental/emotional instabilities, then meditation is harmless, and if mastered, I feel, can be the key to success.
     
    MindfulWarrior likes this.

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