i can’t stop relapsing

I’ve done NNN and made it weeks before and i felt better but not incredible like some people say.
Now i’m trying to do the 90 day challenge and i’m fine through the week as i’m busy but as soon as i have time on Friday night i always give in to PMO and i feel horrible as i have messed my body up so much doing this from a young age and i need to nofap to improve my mental and physical health and be the man i want to be, but at the moment i can’t make it past a week.
I can see the improvements i need from nofap during the week but as soon as it’s friday i turn off.
I’ve been watching porn from as soon as i’ve had hormonal changes, masturbstion more recently but both have made me have no self esteem from my christian parents strongly discouraging both
Porn has given my early Erectile dysfunctional and i have had no confidence for years, only recently improving but i keep relapsing, and whenever i do after i find it difficult to get a bonor. And i sleep for a normal amount of time but feel exhausted.And all my friends with normal dopamine reward systems are having fun getting themselves gf’s and i have no hope of doing that at the moment.
I watch porn on an ipad i share with my brother and ik the restriction passwords so if i do block it i can just change it,and i can’t get rid of it and i don’t feel compfortsble telling my parents i watch porn
I would like to know i’m not alone in this and if anyone has any advice on this bc i can’t continue relapsing like this i really want to feel these positives ik will happen to me as i’ve havent felt happy or motivated for years despite having lots of opportunity around me.
Even just to know i can set out to stay off for 90 and do that would boost my confidence.

i can’t help other people with this problem untill i get over it myself, and i don’t won’t to be the man i am today getting off at women whilst in real life i’m awkward and ugly. I can see other people who have the same problem but i can’t help them and tell them porn is the problem whist being a porn addict myself

I’m hoping joining this website willl help and hopefully the panic button will help.

Also i was NoFap for 2 weeks untill i had a wet dream, was very horny and just gave into PMO bc i thought i had nothing to lose as i had no sperm redemption.

I am trying sperm redemption as well if that wasn’t clear.

Some advice would be appreciated or if there are other people with this same problem.

 

It says 97 days cause i made this account ages ago and forgot about it i’m not on that i’ve just relapsed