I can’t tell if I’m gay or if this is just a porn related fetish

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Enter36thChamber, Mar 16, 2018.

What is my sexuality?

  1. Straight

    19 vote(s)
    79.2%
  2. Gay

    1 vote(s)
    4.2%
  3. Bi

    4 vote(s)
    16.7%
  1. Enter36thChamber

    Enter36thChamber Fapstronaut

    25
    11
    3
    First of all I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one who has this horrible ‘sissy’ fetish because it makes me feel less alone and less of a freak in this world.
    I am hugely addicted to TG Captions and sissy porn in general and I’m not sure if it’s just a fetish at this point or if I’m well and truly gay. Either way, I really don’t want to be this way. (Not saying being gay is a bad thing)

    I don’t really watch sissy hypno videos but I’m massively addicted to normal porn, however, there is a catch! Every time I watch normal porn I imagine I’m the woman in the video. I come up with a fake scenario in my head that I had to dress up like her or that I was made to look like her and then I PMO to it. I’ve been doing this since I was 14 and I’m 21 years old now. It’s the only way I can even get an erection to the video now.

    The only reason I’m confused about my sexuality is because although this turns me on massively, I don’t like gay porn at all. Am I sexually attracted to a male? Not really…
    Am I sexually attracted to a female? Kind of BUT if I fantasise about being the male in the video who is getting with the chick, that doesn’t turn me on at all.

    One more thing to mention about myself. I’m still a virgin but one time, last year, me and this girl were fooling around and we were going to have sex but I couldn’t get an erection. Very embarrassing. This has further made me believe I might be gay. However, it could also be PIED.

    So what do you guys think? Am I straight? Gay? Bi?
     
    Clean Plate likes this.
  2. Single Palm Change

    Single Palm Change Fapstronaut

    576
    1,164
    123
    Yeah, this is desentization following heavy porn use. You need "something stronger" to get you off. This arousal works by stimulating the fear/nervous response centers in the brain. To upset yourself, you find something thatis morally wrong, because this is the only thing that turns you on (Fear/disgust response)

    Go to yourbrainonporn.com and start reading, you will find out much more about this mechanism.

    This is a known behaviour in heavy porn addiction.

    I cannot make the judgment if your gay or not, but check out the litterature. Many people have recovered from fetishism and sissy/gay porn, and find that they come back to a "normal" sexuality
     
  3. CrimsnBlade

    CrimsnBlade Fapstronaut

    197
    258
    63
    Agree with @Single Palm Change on that. Just finding out what's actually happening in your brain is a big part of this whole recovery process. Honestly I would just focus on overcoming the addiction first, getting past the dependency of PMO and then see how you feel after that.
     
  4. Enter36thChamber

    Enter36thChamber Fapstronaut

    25
    11
    3
    Thanks, I’ll do more research on the effects. But how does one actually get over the dependency of PMO? Because they say once you have an addiction you never truly lose that addiction, you just have to refrain from taking part in it wether it’s drugs, porn or alcohol. I’m only 6 days in but I can’t help but think about porn every single day. And I know that’s the reason I end up relapsing every time.
     
    Mike Bonanno likes this.
  5. Enter36thChamber, there is nothing wrong with you, I can assure you that. You are just a victim of a very twisted P genre due to circumstances only you are aware at this moment. You hold the potential to separate with these imaginations, but you need to do the work first - this implies to make a deep revision of your past, from the very moment it all started and beyond, exploring you relationship with your family, in what environment you were raised and so forth. Look for traumas like rejection, humiliation, lack of deep parent-child relationship, etc. This may hold the key your condition. I AM SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE.
    I came out of your condition 2.5 months ago and IT IS POSSIBLE, but as I said, there are things you need to do first. Fighting with the craving will not help you, trust me, I tried this for 15 years! The fighting will only create stress, because the energy you are attracted to, which you create inside you may be suppressed, but not for long. UNDERSTANDING is the key to the condition.

    Since 2 weeks I've been intensively working on a thread about my condition and how I got over it. PLEASE, stay strong and hopeful, because as soon as I publish it you'll have much better understanding what you are fighting with.

    I'm with you here!
    Love,
    Todor
     
  6. Icyweb

    Icyweb Fapstronaut

    861
    765
    93
    We are all addicts for life, but we get to choose what kind of addicts we are going to be. You can choose to be a current addict, or a former addict. The experience will stick with you for the rest of your life, but it is a personal choice on whether it rules you or is a part of your history. Addiction has to be replaced by good habits and a healthy mind. When you do that, addiction will not have any hold over you.
     
    chiyu likes this.
  7. Kinkster2016

    Kinkster2016 Fapstronaut

    55
    40
    18

    First of all congrats for beeing honest to yourself.admiting you have a problem is the first step to resolving that problem.i ve been a part of a lot of internet groups and i can tell you that this is the right place to be , even if im arround here for only 3 weeks and didnt got too many answers to my questions.

    A few days ago i wrote a post . After reading some other guys thread i made the courage to write what i wouldnt ever have then guts to say out loud.its kinda long but maybe you will get another point of view on your problem and realise that its always someone more fucked up than you.i ve read a lot of things arround here and i feel i have the duty to share. Hope this helps you make an ideea on how porn works and how it can affect your life



    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...ality-and-sissy-cravings.161298/#post-1360663
     
    Todor likes this.
  8. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

    1,264
    960
    113
    you should quit pmo right now cold turkey and think about this after 90 days
     
    Vulkan and Single Palm Change like this.
  9. Enter36thChamber

    Enter36thChamber Fapstronaut

    25
    11
    3
    This is great, thanks! But how do I make a deep revision of my past relationships with my family and environment? Do I just sit here and think about it? Do I write down what I find from my past in a diary? Do I talk to the people who made me this way and let them know how I feel?
     
  10. Enter36thChamber

    Enter36thChamber Fapstronaut

    25
    11
    3
    That’s what I’m currently working on, I’m 8 days in and even though I haven’t relapsed I can’t stop thinking about porn and sissy porn. I think about it everyday and I feel that defeats the purpose of doing no PMO because it’s still on the brain. I want to stop thinking about it but I can’t help it.
     
  11. john27

    john27 Fapstronaut

    68
    87
    18
    In most cases you're not gay. It's very easy to confuse fetishes with real life attraction when your brain is drugged out on PMO.

    Also, remember you can be submissive in nature and not be gay.
     
  12. Vulkan

    Vulkan Fapstronaut

    216
    287
    63
    If you seriously have to ask if you are gay, then you are not gay.

    Imagine you had nothing to drink for days - would you then ask on the internet: "am I thirsty?"
    No, because it would be a strong desire, you would just feel it overwhelmingly, just like your sexual desire.
    You are not gay.
    case closed, not gay. Just porn confusing you and giving you PIED.
     
    Immature and JustinX like this.
  13. Kinkster2016

    Kinkster2016 Fapstronaut

    55
    40
    18
    I did . Its my 3rd week of hard mode
     
    Todor likes this.
  14. I've described everything I did, which helped me get where I am now. Yes, sitting, thinking/analyzing, writing, talking is included in the process. I would be to superficial if I start to explain the process here, so please, be patient until I publish my story. I'll definitely come back to you and suggest you to read it.

    Be strong! Help is on the way!
    Todor
     
  15. SkyFallBack

    SkyFallBack Fapstronaut

    182
    212
    43
    good that you share. I am still proud of you brother! Like we all deserve love from each other regardless of anything.
     
  16. Single Palm Change

    Single Palm Change Fapstronaut

    576
    1,164
    123
    Yes, that is quite normal, don't worry.
    Have patience. This will get better with time.
    Like @Todor says, you will have to get to know yourself and your underlying problems that you escape from with porn. BUT, this will happen along the way, as long as you stay honest with yourself and don't PMO no matter what! But if you spank the monkey every time you have an urge, you will never get anywhere. It's about sitting with the pain, being uncomfortable, but not running away. Then things will start to improve.

    For the fantasies: you have to learn how to not automatically follow your thoughts. It's doesn't have to be meditation per se. Try this technique:
    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/fight-urges-with-the-name-3-things-technique.160346/
     
  17. The fact that u stated ''i dont want to be this way'' probably means ur not gay. ur brain is just fucked by all this porn use.
     
  18. Enter36thChamber

    Enter36thChamber Fapstronaut

    25
    11
    3
    Yes but there is a lot of gay people out there who don’t want to be gay but know they can’t help the way they feel. Being gay is not a choice. It’s something you can’t help, like the colour of your skin. Which is why I had to ask whether I feel the way I do because of porn creating fetishes or because I’m genuinely gay.
     
  19. I'm going through the same thing.. I don't know if I am gay or just addicted to porn and masturbating.. I don't want to be this way.. I don't want to be attracted to guys at all.. I lost interest on females, sexually.. I am questioning myself all the time, and looking in the past for things that mean I am gay.. This makes me feel so scared...
     
  20. Icyweb

    Icyweb Fapstronaut

    861
    765
    93
    True, but the idea that sexuality isn't malleable at all doesn't seem right to me either. Pretty much every person on here has experienced some degree of change in our sexuality. Sexual attraction can be tied to psychological issues too. These days it seems like there's a real lack of close friendships between men, and I'd be willing to bet that a lot of straight guys who have homosexual tendencies are really desiring platonic intimacy, and they mistake it for a desire for sexual intimacy. I think that this is really exploited by porn and the way it sexualizes everything in our minds.
     

Share This Page