I can literally do anything other than quitting PMO, help!?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Deleted Account, Mar 16, 2018.

  1. I have started exercising at home and I am getting fit, ~2 months now
    I have started brushing my teeth twice a day ~2 months now
    I have started walking with a better posture ~1 month now...

    But I relapsed today... After 3 days of hardmode. Also last 2 weeks I was on day 0 for the entire time.

    I really can't get rid of this PMO. As soon as I get real urges, I find myself fapping to porn. The constant one digit counter doesn't motivate me to keep it up. Have no access to a sexual partner (and due to personal PREFERENCES and CULTURAL reasons I won't have sex until marriage, maybe 10 years from now).

    I can't see a future of constant hard mode for 10 years... Seriously I am sure there's a way to get past this, how? I fapped twice yesterday, which adds even more salt to injury...
    VeganRights likes this.
  2. powerful096

    powerful096 Fapstronaut

    I too am facing this,
    But let me tell you what I did
    1. Meditation - A gamechanger it soothes your nerves, anxiety goes, you get that much needed space from your thoughts.
    2. Being busy - Idle mind is a devil's workshop.
    3. Have to change the perspective towards women - You cannot expect different results from the same action, have to mend few things.
    4. Controlling the single organ won't help, need to have some control over eyes, ears, tongue and time.
    5. I have found few things which give me real pleasure, make me happy, like reading good books, articles, listing to awesome songs.
    Find yours, this will substitute the dopamine requirement of your brain.
    6. Keep on visiting this site, and reading other motivating stuff repeatedly for good amount of days, let these thoughts consolidate in your mind.
    7. Write down your action plan, for battling urges when they come.
    8. Nofap is not something extraordinary, it just takes training, training your mind and body.
    Your success will be defined by how good you train yourself.
    9. Please, do yourself a favour - don't expect quick results.
  3. Olecram

    Olecram Fapstronaut

    You wont get a nobel prize for reaching a hundred years on NoFap. You will if you do something else useful for society.

    Spend your time on productive shit. Obviusly dont get addicted to pmo. But a good fap before sleep is ok.

    Something that will give some great benefits to your life is building the habit to approach women socially and sexually, that lifts your self esteem a lot and also brings you opportunities to fuck some cute ladys.

    Dont create a problem where there isnt one. Pmo aint the devil. Procrastination and not living your life or having new experiences everyday is. Be an adventurer, an explorer, a fearless traveler. Socialize a lot ,with everybody, prejudices away.

    And as our partner said above, meditate, a lot.
    Beingpure likes this.
  4. What I have to say sounds bunk, but I've found it to be true. Several years ago while studying NLP, I found something quite simple but true and that's so often ignored by people struggling with addiction. The human mind can't process a negative about anything. If I say to you, "don't run," you can't think about "not running" without thinking about running. In other words, your mind just draws a line through the don't and you have the image in your mind. You can't think about not drinking without thinking about drinking. You can't think about not speeding without thinking about speeding. See where I'm going with this? You can't think about not masturbating without thinking about masturbating. And so, it's all an exercise in futility. You're on the right track by exploring other activities. You just need to make sure that you have a ton of activities (they don't all have to be physical) that you can do instead. That way instead of saying to yourself "don't think about pornography," which makes you think about pornography, you can say to yourself "let's think about repairing my car instead" or any dozens of other things that have nothing to do with what triggers you.
  5. Olecram

    Olecram Fapstronaut

    CLAPS CLAPS CLAPS to this!! NoFap?? Naaah man..
    Dont even think about fapping, let it flow.

    Think positively. Sex, exercise, work, hustle, study, seduction, bla bla bla.

    Feel the urge to fap? Dont let your mind get tricked that its a bad thing. It isnt.

    I believe the healthy fap is the one before sleep, or the one that saves you from too much sexual energy having you in a crazy mood.
    Dont fap on procrastination or addictively.

    The thing is that anything will become bad for you in excess, even studying, exersicing or praying.
  6. Olecram

    Olecram Fapstronaut

    The good thing about cumming is that you can think straight right afterwards. You stop for some instants to think with your dick. When I gotta filter the women I date with, I reflex about them right after fapping, cause I can see clearly which one is good for me and which isnt. Leaving the sexual attraction behind. You follow me?
  7. Exactly... the red pill hits me hard after I fap
  8. -write down all the reasons why you
    want to stop PMO and keep reminding yourself of them
    (read daily, perhaps a few times)

    -continually educate yourself on the many
    damaging effects of PMO.

    -acknowledge the dark spiritual element
    that is involved in the industry.

    -when urges come up distract yourself
    with another wholesome activity.

    -remove yourself from the environment (go for walk)

    -keep reading about the success stories on nofap
    and make notes about what is helping them.
    incorporate some of the ones you think would help.

    all the best to you in your journey!

  9. -acknowledge the dark spiritual element
    that is involved in the industry.

    ^ what's that?
  10. GoldSpirit

    GoldSpirit Fapstronaut

    Okay, whatever your current strategy is, regarding how to avoid the habit, is not working. I suggest focusing your attention on the analysis of why this is happening. First, we need to avoid the urges that are avoidable. Second, we need to create an effective action plan for those urges that actually happen.

    Questions to ask: What am I doing to fight the urges? When do the urges appear? Is there any pattern I can recognise?

    Myself, I detected a few patterns that lead to urges. For example: heavy study load, browsing mindlessly through social media, smoking weed on my own. I realised this situations lead to urges, in most cases. I changed my study environment and tried to study with partners, limited my social media consumption, and quitted weed altogether (at first I just avoided smoking on my own).

    But urges will be urges, therefore some random will appear. So next is creating an action plan on what to do when they actually come.
    I could list quite a few common actions everyone here in the forum tends to use. Cold showers, switching off electronics, etc. But that's for you to decide, there is no one size fits all for this. In short, I'd summarise it with: Change your environment when they come.

    They will not go away. They will remain intense in some cases. You cannot control that. But you can control your own strength and willpower to win the struggle.

    Unfortunately the only one who can figure out what to do is you, because as I said, I believe there's no one size fits all here. Nevertheless I hope you find courage in the support we are all giving you. Stay strong!
  11. findingdawae

    findingdawae Fapstronaut

    how about breaking your process of quitting pmo into 2 phases?
    it might look like this:

    phase 1 of quitting pmo:
    - fap, but w/o porn this time (do that for some time say a few days, a week or even a month)

    phase 2:
    - this time, quit pmo for good (should be easier now cos you have quit your porn addiction by not pmoing but moing)

    p.s. I dunno whether this method works, so you can don't try this method if you don't want. After all, this is just a (stupid) suggestion

  12. I can't MO without P, it really feels unrewarding.
  13. I can relate. I am trying not to give up on trying.
  14. findingdawae

    findingdawae Fapstronaut

    So, do you REALLY want to quit pmo? This is easier than quitting both p and mo at the same time, which is fking difficult.

  15. It's easier to just go cold turkey. I am on day 3 I have no sexual libido but I fucking want to watch porn right now.
  16. moonesque

    moonesque Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    Have you ever really thought about where your desire to use p comes from in yourself? One can put themsleves through all manners of rituals but without a change in foundation...

    Who are you and why do you use p? P use is a symptom that becomes addictive.

    Practically as well it seems like you need better p blockers. Even if I wanted to there would be so many hurdles I would have to go down to follow through with p use at this point, at every point you have agency to ask yourself, what am I doing and why?

  17. Porn allows me to tune in to my fantasies when I am horny. It's an optimal way of seeing what you want to see, and hearing what you want to hear.

    I don't watch anything brutal or hardcore though.
  18. moonesque

    moonesque Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    Tuning into your fanatasies or whatever it may be is not why you watch porn.

    Porn has a hold over you, you have to find why in your sexuality you are being held by it.
  19. takeittothelimit

    takeittothelimit New Fapstronaut

    We can only do this one day at a time. Whenever I think about the long term I get freaked out and want to quit. Try to stay in the day and in the moment. A 5 minute meditation in the morning just focusing on your breathing will help. Good luck! 23 days no fapping. 6.5 months no porn.
  20. GoldSpirit

    GoldSpirit Fapstronaut

    So you relapsed again? What did you learn form this last relapse?

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