I Can't Do These Evils Anymore So Here Begins My Journey

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by JP1996, Feb 23, 2016.

  1. JP1996

    JP1996 Fapstronaut

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    I am a sophomore in college and have struggled with these evils for several years. I believe in God and I believe PMO is wrong and I can no longer live with myself doing it. I have met a wonderful girl and I must stop these awful things. Today I just gave in to temptation and this is the final straw. On this thread I will post my daily thoughts and feelings and progress. Any advice from anyone who can help is greatly appreciated.
     
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  2. PornMustDie

    PornMustDie Fapstronaut

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    Welcome, brother!

    Glory to God for He has led you here with a community of soldiers willing to help you! I will gladly lend a helping hand to you whenever you need.

    PMO is wrong, it's a sin called sexual immorality. It violates the body, mind and spirit - So we can call it a disease. I'm glad you've taken the decision to fight it and lemme tell you something = You WILL win!

    Please message me with any questions or if you fall back into, keep posting, keep active - I'm here along with several others.

    In Christ, we have been set free!
     
  3. JP1996

    JP1996 Fapstronaut

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    Day 1 Clean

    Thank you for the words of spiritual encouragement @PornMustDie.

    A little further info on my story: at my worst back last spring and summer I was up to 4-5 times a week. Since then I have been able to reduce to 10-12 days clean from PMO but I can't get over that hump so that's why I'm here. The next few days I'll feel fine and won't have any urges. It seems around day 8 or so I start struggling and it goes down hill from there. I probably won't have much to write until then. Had a good day today; got organic chemistry homework done and part of physics homework. Also got to play the piano some. About to wrap up the day and head to bed with my sights set on tomorrow.
     
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  4. Saturdaze

    Saturdaze Fapstronaut

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    JP - you also might want to join the Christian group. Lots of great encouragement there. Have you ever considered joining an SA (sexaholics anonymous) or SAA (sex addicts anonymous). As a Christian I have found SA to be really helpful. There is also a great book that I have found helpful A Hunger for Healing by Keith Miller. Also check out Yourbrainonporn.com. Lots of great information and some great videos that explain what your brain is doing while you are trying to reboot.
     
    JP1996 likes this.
  5. adam1992

    adam1992 Fapstronaut

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    Hey man
    First of all, you're doing the right thing by trying to quit pmo...we all are!

    Second, you need to take it day by day. Basically, every day is a new battle, you win and you're the boss. IF you lose it, cool, try again and again.

    Good luck!
     
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  6. JP1996

    JP1996 Fapstronaut

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    Day 2

    Thank you for the support @Saturdaze and @adam1992. I will look in to joining the Christian group.

    Not much else to say today. I am a chemistry and calculus tutor for the college I attend and for what ever reason, I seemed to be the popular tutor of the day. Because of that I am rather tired, but on the bright side I stayed busy and had my mind occupied. On to the next day.
     
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  7. PornMustDie

    PornMustDie Fapstronaut

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    Smarty pants!

    Another day, another victory.
     
  8. JP1996

    JP1996 Fapstronaut

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    Day 3

    Not much to say today. I didn't really experience any urges and finished a physics lab report and homework. I'm not really in a good mood or a bad mood. I didn't really eat much today but I'm not really hungry I guess. It's just kind of a bland day but that's okay. I'll spend all of tomorrow preparing for an organic chemistry exam I have next week. Hopefully later on next week I'll get to see the female friend I mentioned earlier. I see why God placed her in my life at this point; I seriously consider her a sign from God that I have to stop PMO. Anyways, I guess I'll have my little Bible study for the evening and head off to bed.
     
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  9. JP1996

    JP1996 Fapstronaut

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    Day 4

    I woke up with a headache this morning. I don't think it's a withdrawal issue because I took an Aleve and felt fine the rest of the day. I guess I just had a rough sleep last night. Other than that I'm just really lonely today. My lonely bouts can absolutely horrible some times. Spent almost all day on an organic chemistry study guide. Didn't see anyone and I did not go to a college basketball game. My female friend was able to go and I just really hate that I didn't go with her, but alas, I want to do well on this exam Wednesday. She understands and is perfectly fine of course so no harm done there. Just got to resume being patient. I'll be off to church in the morning.
     
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  10. JP1996

    JP1996 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the prayers @Atonement. I really need them. I did not make it through today. I woke up with morning wood and kept getting erections throughout the day and I just couldn't concentrate on anything else. I just messed up and I regret it even more than last time. I just have to ask God for forgiveness, put it in the past, and keep moving. I will beat this demon eventually. I'm just so frustrated with myself.
     
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  11. JP1996

    JP1996 Fapstronaut

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    Day 1 Back on Track

    I know I'll be fine. I just have to put another relapse behind me. I just have to find a better way of occupying myself in my lonely periods. I had an awfully very busy today. I tutored for 3 hours and my students were just absolutely full of questions. Very exhaustive. Anyways not much else to say. On to the next day.
     
  12. JP1996

    JP1996 Fapstronaut

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    Day 2

    I have a big organic test tomorrow so I'll be brief in writing. I really have had any urges today; of course, I really haven't thought about anything but organic chemistry for the past 24 hours. I'm very thankful for the interactions I've had with some of the people on this site. You guys are awesome.
     
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  13. PornMustDie

    PornMustDie Fapstronaut

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  14. VoltesVfan

    VoltesVfan Fapstronaut

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    Fight to the finish, guys!!! Be proud of your efforts!!!
     
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2016
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  15. JP1996

    JP1996 Fapstronaut

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    Day 4

    I did not write yesterday as I was quite tired after my test. I feel as though I did awesome on that test. That's probably the best I've ever felt after an exam. I'll know my grade for sure on Monday. Anyways I feel good. No strong urges, no unwanted thoughts. I confided my struggles in a close friend recently and my friend is really encouraging me to stay on this path and really being a blessing. Anyways, I'll update tomorrow.
     
  16. JP1996

    JP1996 Fapstronaut

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    Day 5

    Today I had the best day I've had in some time. I got an A on my organic chemistry exam. I listened to my favorite baseball team's spring training game on the radio and went to a college softball game this evening with my best friend and future roommate. I feel great. I could feel the old me wanting to masturbate to falsely "reward" myself for my exam score but I did not. That's a big improvement for me. On to the next day. Keep moving forward guys. We can do this!
     
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  17. Hellboy123

    Hellboy123 Fapstronaut

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    Fantastic! Keep pushing!
     
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  18. JP1996

    JP1996 Fapstronaut

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    Day 7

    I didn't write yesterday because I didn't really do much. Regardless I had a good church service this morning but the urges are beginning. Regardless I know I can get through today because I am meeting an old roommate for dinner and then I have a meeting tonight. I am so worried about tomorrow. I hope it passes.
     
  19. ad_nex

    ad_nex Fapstronaut

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    Fight the urges brother remember that the right habits are tough to implement at the initial stage but later on it becomes easy.. so keep going ahead.
     
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  20. JP1996

    JP1996 Fapstronaut

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    Day 9

    I'll probably just start updating every 2 days. I really don't lead an interesting enough life to write everyday I feel. I have had a few meh days. I won't get to see my female friend till after spring break next week due to midterm exams and such. I'm a little bummed out about that of course but I just have to keep focused. On to the next day.
     

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