I can't figure out my sexuality

A

Andy1234

Fapstronaut
Hey guys,I'm hoping that this is the right place to post this. Sorry if it's not.
I am having a really hard time figuring out my sexuality. I've been feeling this way since I was about 14. I remember when I was 12, I had a gf. I was into her romantically and sexually, at the time I thought I was 100% straight. A couple years later and I became very confused about my sexuality. Since then it's a constant battle with myself in deciding if I'm straight, bi, or gay. I've experimented with guys a few times, I enjoy the sex but then after I orgasm I think it's gross and I ask myself what the hell am I doing. It's the same thing if I masturbate to gay porn. I have not yet had sex with a woman but if I masturbate to straight porn I don't feel grossed out after I orgasm.There is periods of time where I'm either into guys or women, I'm never into both genders at the same time (hopefully that makes sense). It might be worth noting that when I was very young my older brother touched me in a sexual way. Also when I was growing up my mother would say things like "you better not have a gf" or "if you date a girl her dad and brother will beat you up". I think these events may have messed me up. I don't care if I'm gay bi or straight, I just want to know what my sexuality is so I can have a relationship. Some people have suggested that I could have HOCD. I've looked into this and although I show a lot of signs of it, I'm not sure I fit the definition. HOCD is described as having homosexual thoughts but no sexual attraction to the same sex. I think I have sexual attraction to men but I regret it. I'm really confused guys. It's a constant struggle and I don't know what to believe. I'm worried that if I'm in a relationship with a woman that I may not be turned on by women at the moments I need to be. I'm worried that if I'm in a relationship with a guy that I'll be disgusted every time after sex. I hope this post makes sense. I appreciate all advice. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
 
Honestly don't worry about your sexuality... put that in the back of your mind and just live your life . If you love someone then just stick with them no matter what gender or sexuality. This day and age there are a lot of different names, groups,etc. but we are all human and that's just how it is. Don't let straight or homosexual brand you. That is my only advice. Good luck man
 
M and P can really induce homosexual thoughts, i had them too. After you stop M you stop having those thoughts, and you stop doubting.
 
Why do you find gay sex disgusting? How can you feel that way and at the same time not care if you're bi or gay?
Maybe it's shame you're feeling and not disgust, or maybe you are an internalized homophone?
If you're attracted to guys romantically, I'd say it's more that just HOCD. So maybe try to work out with yourself why you have negative thought about being gay.
 
Halo_30 said:
Why do you find gay sex disgusting? How can you feel that way and at the same time not care if you're bi or gay?
Maybe it's shame you're feeling and not disgust, or maybe you are an internalized homophone?
If you're attracted to guys romantically, I'd say it's more that just HOCD. So maybe try to work out with yourself why you have negative thought about being gay.
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If he's not gay, he shouldn't become one. He'll have mental problems later on, like confusion. If he's born gay, it's another story.
 
Andy1234 said:
Hey guys,I'm hoping that this is the right place to post this. Sorry if it's not.
I am having a really hard time figuring out my sexuality. I've been feeling this way since I was about 14. I remember when I was 12, I had a gf. I was into her romantically and sexually, at the time I thought I was 100% straight. A couple years later and I became very confused about my sexuality. Since then it's a constant battle with myself in deciding if I'm straight, bi, or gay. I've experimented with guys a few times, I enjoy the sex but then after I orgasm I think it's gross and I ask myself what the hell am I doing. It's the same thing if I masturbate to gay porn. I have not yet had sex with a woman but if I masturbate to straight porn I don't feel grossed out after I orgasm.There is periods of time where I'm either into guys or women, I'm never into both genders at the same time (hopefully that makes sense). It might be worth noting that when I was very young my older brother touched me in a sexual way. Also when I was growing up my mother would say things like "you better not have a gf" or "if you date a girl her dad and brother will beat you up". I think these events may have messed me up. I don't care if I'm gay bi or straight, I just want to know what my sexuality is so I can have a relationship. Some people have suggested that I could have HOCD. I've looked into this and although I show a lot of signs of it, I'm not sure I fit the definition. HOCD is described as having homosexual thoughts but no sexual attraction to the same sex. I think I have sexual attraction to men but I regret it. I'm really confused guys. It's a constant struggle and I don't know what to believe. I'm worried that if I'm in a relationship with a woman that I may not be turned on by women at the moments I need to be. I'm worried that if I'm in a relationship with a guy that I'll be disgusted every time after sex. I hope this post makes sense. I appreciate all advice. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
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I really dont know what to make of this, on one hand I want to say "Oh yeah a 90 day reboot will definitely help you" (I know its helping me at least) but based on you "regretting" your attraction to men I'm also led to think that you might be bisexual and struggling to come to terms with it, and this is leading to feelings of disgust. I'm not a psychologist and dont want to say for certain what you should do as this is a very complex issue, but having said that now that you are here you might as well try to reboot, it can be helpful in many ways beyond just helping with sexuality.
 
theMotivator said:
If he's not gay, he shouldn't become one. He'll have mental problems later on, like confusion. If he's born gay, it's another story.
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I'm not saying a straight person should become gay, I'm saying that a straight person shouldn't feel disgusted by gay sex, especially a straight person who watches gay porn and enjoys while he's watching it. The bad feeling comes only after having an O, so to me it seems to be related to guilt about enjoying it.
 
It could be raging hormones in general, which can explain your situation. The peak level of prolactin in the brain that happens after climax can lead to guilty complexes in something that may not be as "accepted" or "normal" in societal terms, and it can also lead to regret or disgust in something you may not 100% enjoy for anything but just the buzz. I was overall concerned in my teenage years because I found I liked women and men, but as I got older, not that I'm that old anyway, I found out I only liked romantic relations with women.
 
Andy1234 said:
I don't care if I'm gay bi or straight, I just want to know what my sexuality is so I can have a relationship.
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When you've had your experiences with guys - was it mainly centered around each other's dicks or were you into kissing & cuddling as well?

Have you ever found a guy physically attractive or was it just the idea of playing with his dick and him yours that got you excited?

Imho I think if you're gay you're likely to experience both types of attraction. If you're just sexed up and horny then thoughts may focus solely on dick play.
 
You probably need to do no PMO for 90 days at least to clear your body and mind. If not 180+ and then reassess. It’s possible you are bisexual, pansexual or even asexual if you aren’t sure. Or at least sonewhere on a bisexual / gay spectrum. You may also be straight or even gay. You need to avoid P and also media, social media etc for a while and see what you default back to in my opinion
 
I am not going to tell you what to do, but I am going to recommend a book, in case you like reading. "The Chemistry Between Us: Love, Sex and the Science of Attraction", by Larry Young, PhD, and Brian Alexander. It's a great book! It aims to explain sexuality among other things in a very scientific manner. It touches on different kinds of sexuality in the very first chapter! Potentially, a very good read for you.
 
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