I can't look at people without evaluating their "hotness"

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by evaristegalois, Apr 6, 2019.

  1. evaristegalois

    evaristegalois New Fapstronaut

    I'm quite aware of the no PMO benefits, and have twice been more than two months without PMO. The problem is that even after doing so, I still hadn't noticed any difference in the way I saw people. It seems like everybody is only an sexual object for me.

    For example, I couldn't appreciate the same things (going out, making out, etc) with my second girlfriend just because I think my first girlfriend is hotter than her. I constantly judge every characteristic of a person based on their beauty.

    I believe that a truly successful person is better in every aspects of live than the average (including beauty) but I think I've gotten into a point where this is not the justification of my judgments.

    How can I stop with the need of looking into every single person I see and ranking them based on their looks and start developing meaningful relationships with people without considering this factor? Is this even possible? Is it wrong that I want I would preffer an enchanting girlfriend with an average personality than an ugly girlfriend who matches me more? I don't even consider dating ugly women.

    For the record: Been really strong on no PMO on 2019 with few rellapses, have build a strong meditating routine and have been exercising everytime I can.
  2. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    It happens to me everytime I look at The Man in the Mirror. When I first saw my ex-girlfriend, I considered her just cute and that was it, after spending just half a year with her, she became the most beautiful woman on the planet. It depends about how you really feel about her.
  3. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    love your explanation. I do this all the time. I think I have done it ever since I was about 6 years old too. I remember rating my friends but how cute they were, then grading their hair, I even remember in 8th grade this one girl (crystal) she had what I thought was perfect skin, it didn't have blotches, she did her makeup perfectly ( i thought) and she tanned effortlessly, and oh my gosh, curse you facebook I think I'm gonna look her up right now...

    LOL. how did you fix that?
  4. xvtc ctvx

    xvtc ctvx Fapstronaut

    A good question. I am in this boat. I think from a lifetime of PMO, I have become obsessed with vanity and other's "hotness". I would imagine it takes time to reprogram the brain so everything is not based on sex-appeal. I have dismissed a lot of potential dates because they were not "sex gods" even though they were likely good matches for me. Just be honest with yourself and when you start to dwell on the hot-or-not ranking you also think about other qualities people have that are not physical.
  5. GaryMayor

    GaryMayor Fapstronaut

    Yeah, if you have watched porn a lot then you start to think about girls as a sexual object only. It is nothing wrong with noticing people are attractive, but looking at women as at a piece of meat is not right.

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