I can't move forward

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by RoadToSuperSaiyan9, Jul 14, 2019.

  1. RoadToSuperSaiyan9

    RoadToSuperSaiyan9 Fapstronaut

    Hey fellow Fapstronauts

    I really need to get this off my chest, cause enough is enough

    I started NoFap back in 2016, and my longest streak so far is 126 days. I just relapsed again after 26 days

    The point is I can't move forward. I try again and again but it seems like I am not making any progress.
    I know we have to set goals, get busy and forget about NoFap but it's kinda hard for me. I am college student studying abroad, in a country where I don't even speak the language. I can't simply go out, meet new people, get new things because of the language barrier. Moreover, I am often discriminated against so it's another barrier. I don't have any genuine friends that can help me moving forward, because I left all my former friends, they were dragging me down. I really hate this place, and this is really impacting my recovery. It is as if I wanna to move forward, but I always hit a concrete ceiling and I fall back in my old behaviors.
    I've been told to find a SO, that may help me but it seems impossible for me. All the girls are already taken ( this may be some discrimination)

    All in all, I'm tired of this. I want it to end
  2. LilD

    LilD Fapstronaut

    Find some friends before finding a SO, you gotta have some social circle to be even remotely attractive to women, because who'd want to be with a guy who doesn't have friends and doesn't go out?

    No, it's not. Life doesn't owe you a girlfriend, it's your own responsibility to find one.
  3. ArduousPath

    ArduousPath Fapstronaut

    Have you been thinking about your graduation and the plans after? It'll most likely be a totally different lifestyle and the current situation is just a temporary one. Studying can be hard, especially when the money is tight or lacking friends, but it's the same for many. But I'm sure you know that PMO is not the answer, it'll only make things worse for you. Think about your future and what you want to achieve, don't let the hate grow inside yourself. You've already achieved bigger streaks than most people in nofap can achieve, that's a huge achievement. Keep on staying busy and studying and I'm sure you can overcome this. There are people that want to get to know you, it's just a matter of finding them.

    I don't get why a person has to have a certain income or certain amount of friends to appeal as attractive to women. I think what should matter is the most what the person has to say. Nofap has given me the ability to appreciate what matters inside the person, not the looks. It has also relieved me of desperately searching of women, just because they have a vagina doesn't make them attention worthy. If you need to have certain social qualities, then perhaps it's better to live off alone and improve yourself until you find the woman that actually views you as you, not as a superficial trophy that she can show her to her friends and family. It may take a long time, but it's better than to be a miserable person that's just trying to be with someone that doesn't really care about you.

    Last edited: Jul 14, 2019
    RoadToSuperSaiyan9 likes this.
  4. RoadToSuperSaiyan9

    RoadToSuperSaiyan9 Fapstronaut

    I hear you
    Actually, I did think about my future and I decided to drop out from my current school and start over somewhere else, in another country. As you said money's tight and I seriously lack friends ( I pulled myself away from my old circle of friends, they didn't help me moving forward)
    And I did take some action, I joined student organizations, became more active but I feel like this place is simply not for me. I failed at everything I attempted, I couldn't make genuine friends in the organization I joined ( one of the high ups even told me that I don't fit in because of the cultural difference, he was being honest not mean or something else). Now, I clearly gave up on everything related to this place and I spent all my days in my room ( the perfect recipe for disaster)
    I even try again by finding a summer job where I can meet few people. But it didn't go as expected and here I am wiping the gym off my hands.
    I'm not the type to complain about circumstances but I think this place simply isn't for me. I am waiting for the moment when I'll finally leave
    IbrahimViking and ArduousPath like this.
  5. hairlesschewbacca

    hairlesschewbacca Fapstronaut

    You can do really hard things. Where ever you are it sounds like it sucks. Men for thousands of years have had to do really hard things. But you gotta pull yourself up by the boot straps and tell yourself “I am better than this. I do not need PMO. I am a man.”

    Nobody is going to make you quit but yourself. Once you have the mental part down and you simply DGAF your fortunes might just change in this forieign place. Women will start flocking to you because of it. You just have to believe in yourself.
    RoadToSuperSaiyan9 likes this.
  6. RoadToSuperSaiyan9

    RoadToSuperSaiyan9 Fapstronaut

    I hear you buddy
    I think you didn't understand what I meant by discrimination.

    I meant real discrimination. All the local girls I've been talking to seemed very interested in me. But as soon as I start making moves, they magically have boyfriends lol.
    I will not use the race card, but I think I don't have that much to offer.

    When I put myself in their shoes, I'll def choose an average local guy over a black foreigner, even slightly better.

    Anyway, you said something very powerful
    Life doesn't owe me anything, it's my responsibility to get what I want.
  7. RoadToSuperSaiyan9

    RoadToSuperSaiyan9 Fapstronaut

    Thank you buddy
    I really appreciate the support.
  8. LilD

    LilD Fapstronaut

    That's not discrimination, girls will do the same with the guys of their race if they don't like them. That's just lying, that has nothing to do with your/their race. And honestly, I don't blame them for doing that because they are actually afraid of guys sometimes. You know, they think what if he gets mad and violent when rejected? They do that for their safety, not to hurt you. (They really don't care about you most of the time, probably.)
    RoadToSuperSaiyan9 likes this.
  9. LilD

    LilD Fapstronaut

    Let's not mix things up. Income is a different thing, and although it's a plus, some girls don't care about it. I've met a few, at least.

    As for friends, having a lot of them says a lot about you: that you're at least not a serial killer, that you're capable of social interactions, and maybe even that you're a good person.

    Having something to say is a plus too, but if that's the only good thing about you, probably you aren't going to be popular among people. You know, being an interesting person to talk usually involves having some hobbies, achievements, etc. Otherwise, you're just a boring person who talks much. I can relate to that a lot because I'm that boring person who talks much, or at least I've been that for a long time in my life.

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