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I can't orgasm without porn (female)

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Nadine Brooks, Jan 21, 2018.

  1. Nadine Brooks

    Nadine Brooks Fapstronaut

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    I've noticed that most people here would like to stop both porn and masturbation, my problem here is that i can only orgasm with porn, I've never had an orgasm without porn. just by watching it after about half an hour or more i could orgasm without touching myself just rubbing my vagina to the bed i'm on, could do. I've tried to orgasm by masturbation alone but i couldn't, I've tried oral sex with my partner, masturbation too but still no use. I really love my partner but i feel that porn has blocked my brain from feeling sensual stuff, i can only get aroused by porn. I'd like to meet anyone here who had the same problem just being aroused by porn, and if it's curable or not. Can i feel aroused by my partner again and have a normal healthy relationship?
     
  2. Prashanna

    Prashanna Fapstronaut

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    I have no idea how it works for girls, but abstaining from porn for a long time should make real world guys more appealing to you after a while. Pretty sure it's an universal principle for both guys and girls. Rewiring your brain by abstaining from porn.
     
  3. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    You know what needs to be done, stop watching porn. Normal healthy sex with a partner becomes boring and you need the intense visuals of porn to get off. I'm quitting porn and never looking back, I had the same issue(getting desensitized and I'm only 25 yrs old). It even shaped the way I had sex with my GF(violent rough sex instead of loving intimacy). It also trains the mind to be a spectator, so you have to view something and touch yourself to get off(really sick). You need to leave porn and get a healthy normal sex life... Delete all triggering feed on social media, stop watching movies with sexual imagery, throw away sex toys if you have them(my GF had to do this). Good luck.
     
  4. Nadine Brooks

    Nadine Brooks Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the support.
     
    Prashanna likes this.
  5. Nadine Brooks

    Nadine Brooks Fapstronaut

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    Thank you very much, I do feel that urging feeling to be visual, or to do it in front of a mirror to imitate what i'm used to see, like i can't enjoy anything unless it's somehow looks like porn. Making me unable to concentrate and feel the real intimacy happening between me and my partner.
     
  6. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    I understand that completely, sex with my GF also began to mirror what was in the porn videos(which is obviously not based in reality) and that was the only way I could get off. The best thing to do is to just quit porn all together and begin the journey and as I said before, rid yourself of any content that might trigger you to go back to porn(social media pages, movies, etc). After a while, things will go back to normal and then we can start to have normal sexual experiences and in a healthy manner.
     
  7. I feel your pain, over time you can become desensitized by so much pornography it's the only way your brain knows arousal. I've even gone so far to ask my partner to perform on me as I viewed the content... the only way to health is to rewire your brain and abstain from viewing the content at all. Much like an accident victim with a traumatic head injury our brain needs time to heal the abuse we've put it through for years...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 21, 2018
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. Hello! I'm the same, although I can also orgasm from fantasising. My OH is unable to make me orgasm at all and I can't orgasm during sex either. I used to be able to orgasm from sex before I started watching porn & fantasising. This was 13 years ago. Its the porn & fantasising while masturbating that has messed me up so I'm doing a 90 days hard reboot and after that will continue to not masturbate, watch porn or fantasize for the rest of my life. Porn completely messes up the neural pathways in your brain and can make it impossible to achieve orgasm from normal ways, ie intimacy with men. But you can correct it, the porn has to go though, and it will probably take a long time. I'm on day 16 and my body has started to respond physically to my OH already, it's definitely working :) although I do have a long way to go to get back to my lovely original factory settings.
     
  9. Prashanna

    Prashanna Fapstronaut

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    What is OH?
     
  10. Nadine Brooks

    Nadine Brooks Fapstronaut

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    Thank you all for the support. all your replies have really motivated me, i know that porn is the problem but sometimes when you're in the problem you can't see it being resolved, i can't see myself orgasm without porn. So, I just wanted to be sure that there's a way out from all this problems. thank you all again for this powerful motivation :)
     
  11. Prashanna

    Prashanna Fapstronaut

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    It's a really slow process. You can't skip through to the end. I'm suffering from PIED, but 43 days in I see mild improvements. I probably need to go 6-9 months before I fully recover. Being a regular PMO-er, I thought I could never do this and I'd end up relapsing. But I haven't PMO-ed for 43 days so far, and I now have more self control over porn than I did before the start of noFap. On day 28,29 and 30 I almost relapsed. Terrible urges, but I did my best not to give in, and I didn't. I won. That's still not saying I woudln't relapse at all in these 6-9 months, it's likely I might, but I need to make sure I shouldn't binge porn again if I did relapse once. We got ourselves into this fucked up place because of overdoing it for YEARS. All our brain wants is a few months to heal. Considering I notice slight improvements now, it encourages me to keep going until I'm cured. It might sound hard at start, but it gets easier. All I can say is, do your best to hang in there. You'll be cured eventually. I didn't just learn all this from this website. I did a ton of research on so many websites. Our brain does rewire from all this surplus unrealistic dopamine we've built in our brains.
     
  12. Nadine Brooks

    Nadine Brooks Fapstronaut

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    best of luck for your journey!
    Do you know anything about K9 web protection? it's an excellent solution to stay away from porn on your laptop/pc. I really don't know if there's a version of it you could try on your mobile. but you can use it by having an accountability partner and let him manage your password there so you don't have a chance to binge porn again, if you don't know it i'd be glad to introduce it to you :)
     
  13. Prashanna

    Prashanna Fapstronaut

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    Sounds like you found a solution for yourself :) . Does your boyfriend know about your problem? If yes, you could ask him to be your AP.

    Well, me on the other hand, though a regular porn watcher, I don't necessarily consider myself an addict to porn, but I am however addicted to masturbation. I think, for me, it's easier to give up porn, if I just had some kind of 'outlet' in real life. If I had a girlfriend, I'd kinda happily give up porn and even masturbation. Well the reason I'm going strong for 43 days now is because of a girl I love. She isn't talking to me now but the situation is temporary. The 5 times I 'tried' to have sex with her, I had ED. It was embarrassing as hell, and it wasn't like I felt nothing sexually. I have the libido, I feel the need to satisfy her, I love touching her etc etc, but I just couldn't get an erection strong enough for vaginal sex. Me and the girl go back a long time (11 years). We were friends for 10 of those years, and only last year we ended up in this physical thing though we didn't exactly consider each other boyfriend and girlfriend.. We were just close friends who ended up talking about sex, got horny, and went and did it. However, now I'm in love with her, and though we aren't talking now (because of other issues unrelated to sex, but issues related to our relationship since the sex), I know she'll be back in a few months. And when she does, and if she's still single (which is likely), I'd ask her to be my girlfriend. And I want to be able to have a satisfactory session with her. Although I consider all our sessions to be satisfactory for both me and her. She O-ed every time, and me, even if I didn't orgasm during all those sessions, I felt pleasure in entertaining her. But I want to be able to get it working right, so she'd be happy to see me, er, 'at my best', and that way she'd be entertained looking at me too. I guess I just have a porn problem, not because I want porn so bad, but because I had no other option than porn for my 'outlet'. And that in turn has fucked up my brain, and I'm trying to rewire it back.
     
  14. nitsuj0786

    nitsuj0786 Fapstronaut

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    @Nadine Brooks, you should check out https://www.yourbrainonporn.com. It talks about what happens in the brain while viewing porn. I would read everything on that website. One thing that will help you more than anything else is knowledge about what is going on while you have been viewing porn.
     
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  15. Nadine Brooks

    Nadine Brooks Fapstronaut

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    I hope everything goes well for you, and you look like you're trying hard, your streak is impressing, and you should continue it for all the reasons you mentioned above, quitting porn for me hasn't been really really triggered till i was in severe despair, that's when every time i feel the urge to relapse, i remember how i was sinking in that despair so it keeps me going strong. i hope you have your way of motivating yourself too :)
     
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  16. Nadine Brooks

    Nadine Brooks Fapstronaut

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    I already know it and I've checked it a little while ago and it helped me understand lot's of things about the issue, thanks for sharing.
     

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