I can't stop relapsing after beating my first 90 day challenge

J

Just A Reeboter

Fapstronaut
Hello everyone!

I have been going through a really problematic part of my life. It's been 4 years since I started PMOing. The first 2 were the ones where I had dived deep into this addiction. I couldn't stand a day without this "drug". With it came shame and desperation. Then, after these 2 years, I came across NoFap.

From that moment, my perspective changed. I finally had a goal, and it was to stop this madness once and for all.

From that moment I started going from 1 day to 2, 3, 4 and eventually a month. Took me a while but I got there. But I still wasn't satisfied. I needed more. I wanted to abstain from PMO forever.

I decided to go on a 90 day challenge. After tons of trial and error situations, I finally reached 90 days. In fact I got even beyond that (110 days). Everything was awesome and I even had my first crush on someone, something that I had never gone through.

What came after that 110th day was a disaster though...

Since that moment and I don't know why, everything went downhill again.

It's been months since that attempt and most of my reboot attempts nowadays only reach 7-14 days. I can't get through.

I journal, meditate, read the Bible, exercise but in the end I always come back and relapse.

Here's the problem: I used everything I could to save me, but I'm constantly relapsing nowadays. My motivation is at it's lowest.

Any tips? What can I do? I don't want to keep failing any longer. I feel shame and dark thoughts are always on my mind. Life has lost it's colors and my achievements in life are always obscured by this darker me.

Please help... There must be a way. Maybe something I can fix. Please, share what works with you and how do you deal with the urges. If you made it through the challenge, share a brief description of how.

I'm accepting almost anything to win this years long fight against this addiction, this... Monster inside me.

I need to get through this "I can't stop relapsing phase".

P. S.: I tend to PMO when I'm alone at home or trying to sleep (however, in this case, it's only MO). The problem is that there's little I can do to fight loneliness when I'm home.
 
I noticed you said read your bible. are you a member of the christian fapstronauts group? greay group of guys.

You need a plan to resist. nofap panic button, someone to call, goto bible verses (1 corinthians 10:13, proverbs 3: 5-6 etc.). get an accountability partner if you don't have one. and please don't hesitate to message me if you need someone to talk to
 
I'm still not a member. I'm new here, still learning how to use the tool. But I'll definitely check it out.

I already tried the NoFap Emergency button and it definitely saved me dozens of times, but I still end up failing. The Bible actually helped me win with relapses when I was going to shower. I would read it before and the urges disappeared. The problem is that I fail when I'm alone. I start fantasizing and kinda feel controlled by something. It's like I'm not in charge when the urge hits hard enough.

Hey, but now that I think about it... Could it be that I'm being to passive on my mood swings. When the urge comes I tend to not give it attention in an attempt to forget it. Should I intently focus on it?

What I haven't tried yet is an accountability partner. I guess I'll do that. Do you recommend doing it with people I know in real life? I know some people that suffer from this as well.

But I just wanted to point out that my best helper on this journey is the Bible. It definitely got me out of the danger zone lots of times.

About a plan of defense against relapse, I really need one actually. I just do random things in an attempt to kill the urges and end up failing. It's one of those situations where you really need to tame your brain, doesn't it? :emoji_disappointed_relieved:
 
an accountability partner could be someone in real life or on here. I have a few brothers on here. If you need one I could be that for you.

My pastor had a sermon a month or so on exactly that - being alone. That is when the devil strikes. He even mentioned all the numerous times the devil showed up to tempt from eve to Jesus. I will write more later tonight brother.

About to make dinner for my family. hang in there
 
Thank you so much for trying to help me.

Sure thing about being alone. My mind just feels like it's out of control and then I end up in failure. There's something I have to do about it.
 
Do you listen to any radio ministers? almost all also have podcasts too.

Some of my favorites include (in no particular order) chip ingram, dr. john neufeld (back to the bible canada), chuck swindoll, adrian rogers, david jeremiah. I know sometimes its easier to put on a podcast or pull up a video on youtube.

oh also I found I had much better progress once i got off facebook. for some guys its avoiding instagram or twitter.
 
Romans 6 23 said:
Do you listen to any radio ministers? almost all also have podcasts too.
Click to expand...

No, I don't. Seems like a good idea, I'll definitely look for them.

Immature said:
I think intently focusing on something else is a better solution.

One of the 12-Step groups for sexual matters might be helpful, too.
Click to expand...

Ok, then looks like I'm in the "right" path. I'll try to get something even more engaging than what I was doing in the past to do when the urge comes, such as programming, which must use almost all my attention to get something done.

I'll also look for the group you mentioned.

Thanks for the tips! I want to kick this bad habit for good! I have a feeling that being active here on the forum is also actually a good way to control urges.
 
Hey @Romans 6 23, you're part of the Christian Fapstronauts group, right?

Are you in their community challenge? The one that's being done on Telegram. I'm thinking about doing it as well. That way I will have stay accountable to a lot of people.

What do you think about it?
 
Just a rebooter, I feel you on how when those strong urges hit hard enough, been there more times than I care to remember. Thanks God I have not relapsed thus far this time when I stopped beating myself on November 28th, 20+ days so far. But I must admit my mind and my heart are infested with lust and lustful desires, no matter where I am or what I do. More than ever now that I've been on Nofap for so many days. It can be overwhelming at times. I find myself leering at women much more than I used to, all this pent up sexual energy, repression, frustration is becoming very overwhelming. I am truly amazed at myself I have lasted this long without jacking off, I must be really determined this time around to actually better myself overall in hopes of eventually finding a woman to know and to be with.
 
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