When i was a kid i had bad relationship with my parents. It made me close up, not trust people. No one is to blame really, but even if i could legitimately blame someone that wouldn't solve the issue. Later i rationalized my reaction by painting all people as bad, evil and untrustworthy. I made my life choices based on those beliefs. It fucked me up real good. I talked today to someone who confronted those distorted beliefs of mine by saying that not all people are bad and dont care about me. I heard that cliche before but this time it somehow actually got thru to me. It hit me like a bag of bricks. I knew rationally that it has to statistically be true but this time it also felt like its truth. It hurts so much that i now dont have no one in my life to trust and that i could of had if i just made better choices, that i cant escape blame by blaming others. I mean i can, but it seems stupid now when i know that just continues the evil cycle, that it just makes things worse. I hope this is the pain that forces me to make changes. I just realized that this problem might not be directly related to rebooting but it did make my relationship with women practically impossible. Even meaningless sex becomes scarce without developed social skills. My issues with PM are probably not my biggest problem, but it is a problem that gets fed by this one. Phew, today is a hard day.