NoFap

  1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

I compulsively catfish women for sexual pleasure and want help to stop

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by solarmoth, Jan 3, 2018.

Tags:
  1. Jan 3, 2018 #1
    solarmoth

    solarmoth Fapstronaut

    119
    82
    28
    I've been doing this for almost 10 years now, on various online dating websites. I do not intend to hurt anyone, but recognize this is exactly what I do. I started creating fake profiles of people better looking and more successful than I was at a point in my teens when I was extremely lonely, and I enjoyed the feeling of having a woman be flattered by my virtual attention. I would lead them on, arrange and plan some kind of fantastic and romantic meeting, have cyber sex, and then disappear, deleting the profile. I understood that the people I was affecting would find this deeply disappointing and disturbing, and gained no satisfaction from this - I was hooked to the feeling of exciting another person and having them excited by an unusual encounter... one that I would not be able to replicate as myself in real life.

    I got off on it, would jack off, and then disappear from this person's life whose attention I had been holding for that period. I do not enjoy the idea of humiliating anyone one iota, but the pleasure outweighed the cost of upset to a real person, and I am disgusted at how coldly I would make that calculation every time.

    It's got to the point where I don't enjoy this sick and callous game any more. I see how it affects other people, and I see how it affects my own life, influencing my behavior in relationships and work. Emotional and sexual intimacy has become impossible with real people in real life - this compulsion has affected, and ended close to three promising relationships at this point.

    I post it here because I'm hoping someone here has any experience at all with overcoming similar difficulties. Part of the problem is that if I'm not catfishing - as soon as I experience a second of sexual desire, I have to jack off, a few times a day, to keep that urge at bay. This leaves me feeling depressed, anxious and sluggish as well - which eventually makes it easier to go back to catfishing at some point.

    This has gotten so habitual that I can start to set up an account to catfish someone almost without looking at the keyboard. I can do it in a number of minutes, and it takes a few moments lapsed concentration and I find myself in the middle of a binge, which lasts hours.

    Any advice would be really appreciated
     
    solarmoth, Jan 3, 2018
    solarmoth, Jan 3, 2018
    #1
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. Jan 3, 2018 #2
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Step Zero - "This sh*t has got to stop". Glad you are there. Now, it's time to get to work. This program works if you work it.

    Work it? Oh yeah. There's work to be done, that's what's worked for me. Two things I've found necessary.

    1. I had to Learn the NoFap Program.

    2. Getting involved with the community on here was vital to help my recovery.

    Learn the NoFap Program
    The resources listed on the "New Users: List of Rebooting Resources" helped me find my way around the reasons behind the program and the terms used.

    They are:

    You can find this same list on the top of the forum you posted this message on at - the "New to NoFap" forum.

    Get Involved with the Community
    The community has been my lifeline. I've found journals I love, people who are very supportive and a place where I could get to work helping in a small way others.

    I'm nobody important around here. Just a normal user with no magic powers.

    But, I can:

    • Read Journals, and comment when I have ESH
    • Find people I admire and stay in touch via their profiles
    • Pick a forum and make sure evvery post gets and answer. I can't answer them all, but that's good - different opinions make for a better group.
    • Post in my journal (I could be better at it - but I do milestone posts at least) To make a journal go to the section listed by age and start one. Keep all your journal posts in one thread. But, for random thoughts, you can create a new thread.
    Looking forward to seeing you around on the forums,

    - L

    PS - Think of pmo like a wolf. Stay near the center of the group with the winners and the wolf has a more difficult time finding you. But, stray near the edges of the community and the wolf can pick you off.
     
    Deleted Account, Jan 3, 2018
    Deleted Account, Jan 3, 2018
    #2
  3. Jan 3, 2018 #3
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals.

    I've included journals from all age groups, spiritual members, religious members, secular members, male and female. You should find journals that help. If not, look around, there are hundreds of others from which to choose. When I say "it works if you work it", reading journals is part of that work.

    Once you open a journal, click "Watch Thread" in the upper right of the page to get alerts when new posts are made. Here are just a few:

    @2525 Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/147264/
    ---
    @Visor Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/144228/
    ---
    @Dragonnlife Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/136148
    ---
    @I_can_and_I_will Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/138959/
    ---
    @weddingnails Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143418/
    ---
    @MLMVSS Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/142945/
    ---
    @Struggle Bug Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/141911/
    ---
    @BigDawg913 Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/145872/
    ---
    @Sunshadow Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/75108/
    ---
    @kropo82 Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/78164/
    ---
    @tet2vd Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/144513
    ---
    @Protagoras Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/109842/
    ---
    @Tomoya Okazaki Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143534/
    ---
    @DavidGibson Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143325/
    ---
    @Euklid Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/146663/
    ---
    @BreatheDeeply Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/139097/
    ---
    @LiquidShoes Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/134044/
    ---
    @Reverent Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143845/
    ---
    @Former_CD Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/87827/
    ---
    @PatrickR Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/139570/
    ---

    There are many more, and you can discover them on your own. But, these are great places to start.

    This is a work in progress. So, if a journal has changed or is no longer active, look around there are some amazing journals on here.

    - L
     
    Deleted Account, Jan 3, 2018
    Deleted Account, Jan 3, 2018
    #3
    Deleted Account likes this.

Share This Page