I constantly feel like I'm messing up

I am happily in love and with a partner who has been with me since the start of my reboot. In fast she is the reason for my reboot all together, as my sexual addiction and porn addiction along with compulsive masturbation led to difficulties and struggles within the relationship.
My current struggle is with understanding what a normal sexual relationship is, as my old brain and new brain seem to constantly be at war. I desire intimacy with her, but my mind screams for the high, a high in which I feel almost allergic to as it will cause nothing but damage and despair. I am coming close to three months clean and 7 months in a relationship with her and find myself constantly doubting and obsessing over my love for her. She herself has struggled with identifying her feelings towards me physically as opposed to emotionally. Its almost like I have had to restart everything, look in the mirror and wonder what the hell is going on. I want things to work with this girl so bad as she has been so amazing for me and to me, but I constantly feel as if there is this inevitable breakup looming or that I can never be sexually satisfied in this relationship again. I go from being completely fine to spending hours turned on, wanting some form of physical hit and high that will just alleviate the stressors from my day, but no matter how hard I try, and no matter how many times people assure me that it takes time to overcome an addiction, everyday feels like an anvil is being dropped on my whole body and all I want is rest.
I knew the temptations would keep returning, but last night my girlfriend shared with me that she is resisting sometimes from doing things sexually with me because she feels "pressured" or "doesn't want to do stuff when she can tell I am just looking for a high." This greatly disturbed me because I am now questioning wether or not I do love her constantly again, or if she has just been a means to get a high. I can spend hours with her, laughing, smiling, cuddling. But there is so much sexual tension that I feel and sometimes cannot tell if its just a part of my personal recovery or if its substantial. I am taking our relationship one day at a time and promising myself I won't leave because I really truly don't want to, I just want to feel normal again. Even if I constantly question what normal really is.
I know there isn't a question here but it feels good to just vent and talk about things that weigh heavily on my mind. Keep moving forward friends!

 

Thank you so much! Honesty between the two of us along with communication has really been essential so far in maintaining our strong relationship throughout the reboot. Thanks for your response!