I don't know if anyone can relate to me on this.

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Ancient Wisdom, May 21, 2020.

  1. I've been out for 40 days. I've studied all the science about how porn negativity affects the brain. I was addicted to porn for 11 years. Everytime i think about think this, i always feel hopeless and just want to cry. I don't see a lot of people talk about this particular part.

    Before i was a porn addict, or even 3-4 years into watching porn. I used to have empathy for people. I deeply care about the suffering of others. But eventually, I lost all my feelings to people. Empathy, gratitude, and happiness. This starts to occur around 8 years into watching porn. I watch porn and masturbate just about every day. I'm having a lot of negative thoughts which i can't control of. I'm at the point where i don't even have feelings for my dying pet. I used to have a lot of feelings, now it just all gone. I don't want to live like this...

    Does anyone had the same issue and got recovered after a certain period on nofap? I've been keeping this problem to myself for years. And i don't really have anyone in real life i can speak to.
    Indurian likes this.
  2. r8js

    r8js Fapstronaut

    Very well self analysis......
    break it down even more......to make it more clear......

    I also have face same issue , not respecting other , not feeling good about others , feeling bad about self...

    I have not over came this feeling completely but 30% i am on track...
  3. How long have you been out from porn, and are you slowly getting these emotions back?
  4. healmyself321

    healmyself321 Fapstronaut

    I had similar experience,I used to be very positive and likeable guy,full of positive energy and I was very nice person..After a few years of constant PMO (6 years at least) my personality changed a lot and other people kinda feel it,if I PMO and than go out with my friends I feel so worthless and ashamed and everybody can see how low energy I have(I was low energy even if i didn't pmo right before but it was more extreme if I did).I started behaving in different ways,and not loose but,but make my friendships worse and completely destroyed my life.My whole life girls liked me and I was always kinda popular guy but I was PMO-ing more and more and my enjoable life became kinda sad..I also lost the most of my feelings,even sometimes when I realize how much I fu**ed up my life I'm not that sad,sometimes I have feeling like I want to cry but I cant,I was just empty guy walking around trying to look like a same dude I used to be..I had the same case with my pet as well..But now I decided to give all I have to stop this cycle and to break free,and I know we are both gonna make it.Stay strong and good luck brother (and sorry for writing this long reply)!
  5. Healed!

    Healed! Fapstronaut

    I think you’ll find your feelings return if you’ll stick with it. Don’t be alarmed or afraid if they’re pretty raw when they start to come back. You may find yourself struggling with being overwhelmed by your emotions. Don’t try to stifle them. Let yourself feel. It’s what makes us human and not machine.
    Knighthawk likes this.
  6. Before I became an addict, I was just a kid, so as an adult I'm a completely different person now. It's hard to compare a kid to an adult.

    Yet, I can say for sure that since I stopped being an addict, I've become quite a nice guy! At least, that's what I hear from others. I also feel much more empathetic, but I believe it's 'thanks' to the experience of addiction. WHen I was an addict, I remembered myself as a gloomy, emo guy.

    Also, you can find a lot of opinions on this forum how people are changing their character for the better during their recovery, so it's not only my experience.

    So, the answer is: yes and no. Yes - you'll generally become more empathetic, friendly, somewhat outgoing when you finally break with your addiction. No - you'll be a different person then. I believe, you'll be a much better person than from the times you remember. Just don't give up. It's worth fighting for.
  7. r8js

    r8js Fapstronaut

    U r 23yr old , ur at perfect age to feel bad good worst emotions and grow up according to it.
    Let's break it down few points and discuss it
    1) used to have empathy for people. I deeply care about the suffering of others -- donot expect urself self to be perfect in showing empathy for people. Just sometimes little help is enough.
    2)always feel hopeless and just want to cry --- books and nature ,exercise this r great good friend s.
    3) about ur dying pet -- sorry about it.
  8. Indurian

    Indurian Fapstronaut

    Your emotions will return. I have been through the very same, going from being a compassionate person in my youth, to having fully numbed emotions is the midst of my porn addiction.

    Give up porn and they will return. I don't know how long it will take but if you don't give up for good then I don't think your emotions will return.
    I can tell by your post that you are serious about this and I believe that you will succeed.
  9. I became a lot more loving and empathetic after having a long streak
  10. Pmo dulls our emotions and dulls our life down to very little. Life is wide open with so many possibilities and emotions good and bad, and pmo condenses it down to almost nothing.

    When you abstain you will find your emotions do come back. They might overwhelm you actually, but don’t be afraid and go back to the shell. Embrace your emotions and carry on! All the best to you
    Healed! likes this.
  11. Its interesting you asked this question, I posed a very similar question to myself today, I actually have a lot of empathy for people, I can care for people, and notice their feelings at the best of times (not always)
    However there is one sticking point for me - I Can't Cry. For heaven or earth - I just can't get tears flowing down my face. I was speaking with a Tao practioneer, and mentioned when I try micro-orbit meditation (circulating energy from your spine up to your head and back down); I always seem to have energy stuck in my head. So i posed the question to the Tao practioner, why can't I bring the energy down?
    He told me its because the energy is trapped and blockage in my face.
    Now I know is maybe different to the question you posed, but do you think you struggle to cry?

    Also, I wanted to know if others dealing with PMO also relate to this? Because I am starting to believe that PMO could be due to some trauma's in our childhood (obviously not guaranteed, I'm sure there are many with perfect families who ended up on this drug), but maybe there might be issues in our past we are dealing with? Which send us towards PMO? And this is why some of us have 'feelings' which are blocked?

    Also, just to ask, how long have you had this feeling? Is it just today? 3 days? 3 months? 3 years?

    Because if it is recent, this feeling will certainly pass.

    Sometimes we are just dealing with a bad moment / few days.
  12. Thank you all so much for the kind words. You guys gave me hope. Though today i got hit by a flatline. Which i know what it is, and i'm happy it came actually.

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