I don't mind my addiction

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by thedutchman, May 18, 2016.

  1. thedutchman

    thedutchman Fapstronaut

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    I have a problem. I keep coming on and of to this site to start a streak. Everytime i fail. I made sevral topics, again and again.
    This is happening for a long time. I try to figure out why it isn't working. Why can't i keep of PMO?

    Since a week a discovered why. If my GF and other people don't find out i relapsed then i'm fine with it. I'm OK with the facted that big chunks of my day get filled with those pictures and videos.

    My sane thoughts can't believe that i don't mind but i don't. Has anyone the same feeling/thoughts? Or a method to turn it around? Did P win?

    Greetz the dutchman
     
    Typo likes this.
  2. I have gone through a similar state of mind. What helped me to make the switch was to get myself in healthy practices like working out, studying, more socializing. At some point, the desire for porn started to go away. I still struggle with PMO but much of the pleasure created from watching P is gone in comparison to how it was before.

    Set a healthy/ambitious goal and pursue it!
    P doesn't have to take away from you precious time you can use to become the person you wanna be :D
     
    wake_up and Gunner1 like this.
  3. No one would quit if it did not cause a problem in their lives. If cigarettes did not cause lung cancer, no one would quit. If not now, then eventually, it will probably cause a problem in your life. But, until then, you probably will have no motivation to quit. The problems it can cause are: PIED, inability to reach O during sex, and making your GF feel insufficient. Social detachment is also a problem. I could tell you why it is bad for your head, but, until you have convinced yourself it is causing a serious problem, you probably won't quit it. Give it time, and you will, eventually, have that day where you say to yourself: This has to stop. I have to quit this.
     
    YogiBlues, wake_up, Sentinel and 3 others like this.
  4. I did have the same thoughts and I did not mind the addiction at one time years ago. Yet I figured out that it wasted a large chunk of my free time and time is valuable for me. It lead to other problems such as higher anxiety problems. Plus detached from the real world.
     
    wake_up likes this.
  5. thedutchman

    thedutchman Fapstronaut

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    I'm not the only one. That's a relief. Does someone know how to stimulate motivation? Or does it only come when i feel consequences? Or vicories?
    It has become a way of life which i know is not good. Get home from work and start the ipad.

    I know it's bad but it doesnt feel like that. Maybe i just gave up?
    Don't want to be a whiner, i've learnt to tough up and man yourself, live with your problems.

    If anyone has motivation tips, they are welcome.
    Thanks for the replies.
     
  6. BobDobbs

    BobDobbs Fapstronaut

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    I echo what a lot of people here have said. There were times when I told myself that if I could achieve my other goals (related to art, money, health, etc) and just give up on the idea of having a partner, then porn would be plenty satisfying.

    Giving up porn might not make you a success in those other areas. That takes hard work. But devoting as much energy to porn as we PMO addicts do can definitely prevent us from doing that work.
     
  7. I can definitely tell, that I need to stop and kill my addiction. Something very satanic inside me loves the pleasure of watching the senseless, the taboo scenarios and non-consequential settings. And the actors being shameless, limitless and overacting in front of a camcorder, just makes it all so much more tasty for my demons. Everyone I know, don't even realize they have an addiction. My being wants something else. A real life partner. Someone to share stories and experiences with and someone to really love, without being a anxiety-filled, beta-male, punk ass screen junkie.

    My every single relapse starts with edging and it's funny how I feel like total shit, after every PMO relapse, but still keep doing it again and again.
    Well, I must be either A, real stupid or B, real addicted to this shit.

    Either way, it has to go. Now! (Said with Swarznegger's voice)
     
    zadvanceppa likes this.
  8. Well a motivation tip is to start a new hobby or exercise more. For me that is one approach that helps.
    Why did you join this site since this site is about people wishing to give up their porn addictions?
     
  9. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    I think every addict goes through this 'wavering' process at some point. They realise that they kind of have a problem, but then think that problem can be managed or contained. Now here's the thing, an addiction, by its very nature, can not be contained and will soon overwhelm you. In a sense it colonizes you, and as it taps and depletes your energy, it grows stronger and stronger. Of course, there is always hope, but it takes a monumental effort of your rational resources to draw a line in the sand, resist, and then advance to take back the ground that was lost. If this moral/ rational stand is not taken, the danger is the addiction will grow and destroy your life. In Dirty Harry's words 'Well, do you feel lucky punk, do you?':)
     
    BobDobbs likes this.
  10. thedutchman

    thedutchman Fapstronaut

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    I initially came to the website when is was unemployed. My days where only filled with, P, games, 9gag, eating and sleeping. Something had to change.
    So i went to therapy and this website because i felt like the world didn't understand what it is to be slave to your computer. When i watch something, i can't stand up and walk away. I'm glued to the screen.

    Nowadays i have a job and a gf. Also the realisation that my dreams won't ever come true and i have to settle with relapsing 2 times a week.

    Well that's true. I went through hard times because of P but somehow P made me forget that and showed me the "good times".

    The problem will be getting worse eventually as it does always. Andi will feel sorry i didnt do shit about it.

    I gonna make a list with shit i missed, didnt do or failt at because of P. I will make my body hate it for 100%.


    Thanks guys. Support has been great.
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2016
  11. BobDobbs

    BobDobbs Fapstronaut

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    you kinda type like you are drunk. thats ok, i am too.
     
    thedutchman and zadvanceppa like this.
  12. How about striving to replase one a week? Every small step helps :). I believe you will notice a difference in yourself if you relapse less. That what I notice what happens to me as I do notice a difference in myself the longer I avoid porn. For me I relapsed 16 days ago, and before that I lasted 16 days before I relapsed. I was really tempted not so long ago to relapse since I glanced at a erotic picture on facebook and I should have not been there, it was not pornographic but it was close to it. Yet it is not worth breaking my days for a few minutes of pleasure.

    I wish you well mr.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 20, 2016
    thedutchman likes this.
  13. Winston

    Winston Guest

    Well, i'll try to say what i want to say in a way understable... Easy to say.
    My point of view, @thedutchman is that maybe... you've not reach the very low. But, please don't go there.
    It's better for you to stop right now before the damages in your brain and your body (e.g. PIED, etc.) get worst.


    What i've started to do, a week ago, is to completely change my habits: almost no internet, no social networking, less TV. I will not say it is not difficult (i heard we can be addicted to social networking, as well).
    Go sport, learn how to play an instrument, do social work, study, socialize.
    Easier to say than to do. But, if you don't start, if you not fail the first attempts then you won't succeed.

    Bon courage à toi.
     
    thedutchman likes this.
  14. thedutchman

    thedutchman Fapstronaut

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    iPad and autocorrect :) i looked funny.
    The problem with small steps is that i start with saying, a little bit is fine. I did it before and that problem only grew.

    I thought i went low. It must be horrific if you can go lower. I agree that to start with a healthy lifestyle helps a lot. I made a list in another topic with all the shit i missed because of P. I really want to hate it again and blame it for every little piece of shit which happened.
     
    wake_up likes this.
  15. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    This is the very reasons why I stopped (in bold).

    @thedutchman , this is it! Stop before it causes your penis to act up or it causes a separation.
     
  16. Hey dutchman I highly recommend you to check out this link >>>http://yourbrainonporn.com/

    It has many useful articles and so worth checking out. Here is one example where one felt worse after when they quit porn: http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/i-quit-using-porn-and-now-i-feel-worse
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 21, 2016
  17. thedutchman

    thedutchman Fapstronaut

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    i did! Thanks, i think i found myself again or something like that. I really want to make something out of my life and don't be a pathetic sob.
     
    overcomefap likes this.
  18. Deadpool2095

    Deadpool2095 Fapstronaut

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    I have had this same thought over and over after trying to go without fapping constantly telling myself its normal to PMO everyone does it. it started to get inside my head though making me feel disgusted with myself because I had a girlfriend. It also made me get Delayed Ejaculation which my started to make my girlfriend feel bad because she couldn't stimulate me. It was affecting her so I decided to man the fuck up and finally tell myself this is it. Im done. So 30 days is going to be defeated and i shall end in victory in the name of love!
     
    thedutchman likes this.
  19. ShatterTheCeiling

    ShatterTheCeiling Fapstronaut

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    Yeah man, I've thought that before on many occasions. That is why it has been so hard for me to get a streak going.
     
  20. wake_up

    wake_up Fapstronaut

    That is really interesting. I got some new insights from my story, I think they somehow relate to your problem. (I did recycle some parts of my last post :D)
    I found some old logs, seems I already read about NoFap months before I really started to take it serious.
    I didn't even remember that it was so extreme during that time last year. Seems that I burried the memories.
    Obviously I didn't really believe that it was an addiction and had no real goals beside observing and slight reducing.
    So it's similar to your case, that I didn't mind it and/or didn't really see it as an addiction.

    But I already noticed in the logs, that this daily fapping was exhausting, didn't bring pleasure or any positive effects in general, and just was a waste of time.
    I can't really remember why I started exactly then, but from September I took the challenge serious and started a sytematic approach by eliminating all triggers.
    Maybe it got even possible in the first place because I reduced the exposure to pics/psubs in the weeks before.

    At the beginning I found this blog.
    https://nofapsolideo.wordpress.com/...ut-breaking-a-sweat-after-7-years-of-failure/
    That sounded comparatively easy. One should just stop looking at pictures/videos.

    You could try start it like that, too. Don't care that much about relapses (try to reduce it in general, especially avoid binging). But heavily reduce porn/psubs. Sounds like totally doable ...

    Still, its unclear to me, if looking at pics/psubs was really an addiction or just a stupid habbit. My current assessment is that the real addictive action was MO. (They are of course connected, in my case the pics/psubs fueled the cravings/urges.)
     

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