I don't really know how to talk to people. How do I fix that?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by zxcv, Oct 14, 2019.

  1. zxcv

    zxcv Fapstronaut

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    Obviously, I'm not that good with talking to people or making friends. What do I need to do or where do I need to go help me fix that. I'm guessing I'll probably need help with body language and social skills too.
     
    Robinthehood, kunal_n and FX-05 like this.
  2. Coffee Candy

    Coffee Candy Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

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    kunal_n likes this.
  3. ShadyPerson

    ShadyPerson Fapstronaut

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    You can find a lot of tips for social tricks and rules online. Take some of them with a grain of salt obviously. But for instance the guy Coffee Candy recommended is legit.

    But if I had to give only one piece of advice, I would like to point out that you learn by doing. Want to be better at talking to people? Talk to people. Knowing how to socialize in theory can be useful, but if you never try your wings in an actual conversation, it's useless.
     
    kunal_n likes this.
  4. Nicko Stretch

    Nicko Stretch Fapstronaut

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    Humans are great learners through imitation. Maybe you could start by observing others with a focus on use of language, body language and facial expressions. Also recognise that every human interaction is an opportunity to try out those observations. Walking down the street and saying hi to people, being polite when making purchases at the store, and starting discussions with family members will all help build your communication skills and lessen the fear.
     
    Robinthehood likes this.
  5. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    Ask questions. Be curious. And talk to everyone - not just pretty women (older people are often much chattier!)
     
    Washwaverr and Nicko Stretch like this.
  6. ShadyPerson

    ShadyPerson Fapstronaut

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    That's also important. If the only time you talk to people is when you want something from them, you might end up coming from the place of need, which can interfere with your conversation. Also every time you talk to someone is more practise, so...
     
  7. neutral1000

    neutral1000 Fapstronaut

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    Hi there,
    I am learning better communication skills also, PMO is definitively making it worse.
     
    Free-man likes this.
  8. One Eyed Owl

    One Eyed Owl Fapstronaut

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    What I found to be helpful is talk to about something you are very passionate about.
     
    bashka likes this.
  9. The Valiant

    The Valiant Fapstronaut

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    I guess you just have to talk to more people more often. Remember how scared you were when you first crossed a busy road? With enough practice and repetition, it's now just a breeze.
     
  10. Stanley_Da_G

    Stanley_Da_G Fapstronaut

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    Go out for no reason. Meet new people and be open. Most importantly be yourself. Don’t try to be nice, mean, funny and so on just be you. This is key since you wont have to fake body language and you will observe how others react to you and see how their body language works.

    The idea is to build character so that people give you that sort of respect and acknowledge your individualism. Ill add on to that. Building character means trying everything. From music find something you like and discuss to a hobby you really enjoy. Once you interact with people on the basis of communality and not the basis of taking to them because it comes difficult naturally.
     
    Free-man likes this.
  11. aymane29

    aymane29 Fapstronaut

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    It's very simple:

    You should know what you really want.

    If you feel like, you don't need to see people or talk to people, then don't do that

    If you feel that you want to talk to people then:

    Why? and what is it the message you want to transmet ?

    If your answer for those 2 questions is not 100% clear in yourself, then don't do anything, just keep quit

    Also just practices and you will master it with time
     
  12. You start with smaller steps and then take bigger steps, challenge yourself socially with speaking more to people. There are also different exercises regarding how to be more social that you could try.

    Just like any skill in life you need to work on it. Often we overthink situations too much especially socially. Try to meet someone or go somewhere where people are interested in same thing as you are. Will it be sports or collecting stamps it would make sense to search for meetups regarding those things. Since you have a common thing there already it is a bit easier to spark up conversation.
     
    Free-man likes this.

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