I don't remember ever being socialized.....

The little prince

The little prince

Fapstronaut
hey
Have any of you thought that something is wrong with the world? That it's not going right? That people became excessively toxic and pointless? well that's what I feel everytime I go to school. I don't remember having a good attitude about people. I think that my fellows are just simple minded and avoid even looking at them. It's not that I loath them or anything, but it's just that I have a different nature and personality. Mum always tells me that I've been this way since I was a little kid because I didn't come out and play so easily. I had that kind of fear of the manner the outside world could spoil my culture. I'm giving myself more excuses now, and becoming less socialized than ever before. I don't talk to girls and I don't like the manner they behave either…. It's just ridiculous. I do pretty much everything alone, going to school, riding a bike, doing homework…. I feel satisfied with that but people always are the source of my inner suffer. I mean if anyone would ask me to give him my phone number or IG account I would replay that I don't have any of them. I get one of those silly faces of amazement as though as I have three nostrils. people always judge me by my looking behavior. I just can't control my emotions, in a moment I feel joy and enthusiasm, the next I'm the gloomiest person on the planet…. people and especially girls tell me horrible stuff, just because I don't give them the opportunity to introduce themselves. I rejected more than I girl before she could even start a conversation, and I know they could have gone far in showing off. I get rude like crazy and I can't even control what's coming out of my mouth.
I do have a different mentality, I don't wanna be socialized and never wanted to. I hoping to live alone in a wooden house I make with my own tools in the middle of the mountains. I wanna know how bio food tastes like, I wanna make my own art and music. I wanna read more books and write stories. I don't wanna meet any human being(except my family of course). The life that I wanna live is quite simple, no stress, no wife, no neighbors, no money…. I never told anyone this before and I wanna do it without anyone, so the will keep their mouths shut and their stupid ideas for themselves. People do judge anything and everything. It caused a lot of problems in my life. being with my fellows and hanging out annoys me as hell. I feel the urge to be all by myself devolopping my knowledge and skills. Last year I meat this girl and quickly got attached to her and she introduced me to her mum and I did like the atmosphere. So the idea of having a gf came to me brightly and I thought that it could be a solution to get out of 'my comfort zone'. So I met this girl which I liked a lot, she had a nice black hair and bright smiling face. I started talking to her between classes(believe me the approach wasn't easy at all), after about two weeks, I found her surrounded by her friend and it was hard for me talk to her, so I simply told her ' could you keep away from chimpanzees next time' she just looked at me and laughed, but I realized later on in a maths class that I said the least hilarious stuff ever. Guess what? I kept laughing at that for two days. it's just a short anecdote about my life. I decided that having a gf was a failure project.
 
I noticed that once I am pmo free for some time I feel less anger at ppl on various occasions. Or maybe I don't care about things that normally would make me angry. Or maybe I focus on important things. Funny how I mentally change when I am pmo free for some time.
 
The little prince said:
hey
Have any of you thought that something is wrong with the world? That it's not going right? That people became excessively toxic and pointless? well that's what I feel everytime I go to school. I don't remember having a good attitude about people. I think that my fellows are just simple minded and avoid even looking at them. It's not that I loath them or anything, but it's just that I have a different nature and personality. Mum always tells me that I've been this way since I was a little kid because I didn't come out and play so easily. I had that kind of fear of the manner the outside world could spoil my culture. I'm giving myself more excuses now, and becoming less socialized than ever before. I don't talk to girls and I don't like the manner they behave either…. It's just ridiculous. I do pretty much everything alone, going to school, riding a bike, doing homework…. I feel satisfied with that but people always are the source of my inner suffer. I mean if anyone would ask me to give him my phone number or IG account I would replay that I don't have any of them. I get one of those silly faces of amazement as though as I have three nostrils. people always judge me by my looking behavior. I just can't control my emotions, in a moment I feel joy and enthusiasm, the next I'm the gloomiest person on the planet…. people and especially girls tell me horrible stuff, just because I don't give them the opportunity to introduce themselves. I rejected more than I girl before she could even start a conversation, and I know they could have gone far in showing off. I get rude like crazy and I can't even control what's coming out of my mouth.
I do have a different mentality, I don't wanna be socialized and never wanted to. I hoping to live alone in a wooden house I make with my own tools in the middle of the mountains. I wanna know how bio food tastes like, I wanna make my own art and music. I wanna read more books and write stories. I don't wanna meet any human being(except my family of course). The life that I wanna live is quite simple, no stress, no wife, no neighbors, no money…. I never told anyone this before and I wanna do it without anyone, so the will keep their mouths shut and their stupid ideas for themselves. People do judge anything and everything. It caused a lot of problems in my life. being with my fellows and hanging out annoys me as hell. I feel the urge to be all by myself devolopping my knowledge and skills. Last year I meat this girl and quickly got attached to her and she introduced me to her mum and I did like the atmosphere. So the idea of having a gf came to me brightly and I thought that it could be a solution to get out of 'my comfort zone'. So I met this girl which I liked a lot, she had a nice black hair and bright smiling face. I started talking to her between classes(believe me the approach wasn't easy at all), after about two weeks, I found her surrounded by her friend and it was hard for me talk to her, so I simply told her ' could you keep away from chimpanzees next time' she just looked at me and laughed, but I realized later on in a maths class that I said the least hilarious stuff ever. Guess what? I kept laughing at that for two days. it's just a short anecdote about my life. I decided that having a gf was a failure project.
Click to expand...
Welcome to the suck ...m

I'll tell you how it goes ... when I was in high school I started out quiet my family was dysfunctional and I didn't know who I was or what I wanted only that I was pissed off. I liked girls but didn't have motivation to talk to them ..... then as I started yo grow up I started hanging out with older guys in school went out more and grew into my own I learnt how to act how to hold my own how to talk to girls I found attractive. I lost my virginity at 15 and ended up getting with 3 middle aged women when I was 16 and pretty much every hot girl in school wanted to get with me ....I went from complete anti social to loving life .... it's a process but you learn ... you become more open minded positive and sociable and life is good

But here's the thing relationships and social skills need to be nurtured sorta speak you can lose relationships and social skills and mental health can plummet .... I think somewere along the line you grow up and level out but social skills can be gained and lost ... people learn from who they hang out with or bring what they have to offer.... but you can lose social skills and ability to relate to other people it's fucked . We are social creatures and some people lose there way there personality and experience a pretty lonely isolated existence which seems to be harder to get out of ... basically just have to take chances take risks until your socialised. ... you become socialised with who you spend your time with ....if you spend all your time alone you can become anti social and lose social skills which can make people on edge around others
 
silentmike said:
I noticed that once I am pmo free for some time I feel less anger at ppl on various occasions. Or maybe I don't care about things that normally would make me angry. Or maybe I focus on important things. Funny how I mentally change when I am pmo free for some time.
Click to expand...
Interesting i definitely notice I'm more aggressive and angry because of watching porn when I'm free of it my mind is much more clear and centred
 
Upwards2020 said:
Welcome to the suck ...m

I'll tell you how it goes ... when I was in high school I started out quiet my family was dysfunctional and I didn't know who I was or what I wanted only that I was pissed off. I liked girls but didn't have motivation to talk to them ..... then as I started yo grow up I started hanging out with older guys in school went out more and grew into my own I learnt how to act how to hold my own how to talk to girls I found attractive. I lost my virginity at 15 and ended up getting with 3 middle aged women when I was 16 and pretty much every hot girl in school wanted to get with me ....I went from complete anti social to loving life .... it's a process but you learn ... you become more open minded positive and sociable and life is good

But here's the thing relationships and social skills need to be nurtured sorta speak you can lose relationships and social skills and mental health can plummet .... I think somewere along the line you grow up and level out but social skills can be gained and lost ... people learn from who they hang out with or bring what they have to offer.... but you can lose social skills and ability to relate to other people it's fucked . We are social creatures and some people lose there way there personality and experience a pretty lonely isolated existence which seems to be harder to get out of ... basically just have to take chances take risks until your socialised. ... you become socialised with who you spend your time with ....if you spend all your time alone you can become anti social and lose social skills which can make people on edge around others
Click to expand...
I can't imagine myself going through a totally new experience in the purpose to be more socialised. I never tried doing that to be honest, maybe because I'm a pussy and never wish to quit my comfortzone, or maybe I haven't found the appropriate envirenment or the time to.... U know sometimes I spend sleepless nights and just keep thinking about my loneliness. wheather it is chosen or it is imposed. I can blame myself more in most situations. In my life, there's a really thin line between being the nicest cutest most socialised person I could be and being the rudest most brutal badass boy. Those latters do draw back my feeling of love and excitement, if u see what I mean. maybe P is the essencial cause of that. I need a rest of everything, a reset of my mind, my behaviour..... could we start over from the beggening? teaching me how to talk gently to people? teaching me all about common sense? how to deal with difficult situations?
You know what? there came several occasions in my life when I got extremely keen and excited about an interesting affair, a one that could have fixed a lot of things in it, whenever I get seriously excited and start acting as though I'm right in the action and start picturing that affair, you know there comes always that unexpected event and it doesn't happen, just that simply. If I could describe my feeling at that moment I would say it's pretty much like truman finding the truth about his existance without being forced to remain his place.
 
The little prince said:
I can't imagine myself going through a totally new experience in the purpose to be more socialised. I never tried doing that to be honest, maybe because I'm a pussy and never wish to quit my comfortzone, or maybe I haven't found the appropriate envirenment or the time to.... U know sometimes I spend sleepless nights and just keep thinking about my loneliness. wheather it is chosen or it is imposed. I can blame myself more in most situations. In my life, there's a really thin line between being the nicest cutest most socialised person I could be and being the rudest most brutal badass boy. Those latters do draw back my feeling of love and excitement, if u see what I mean. maybe P is the essencial cause of that. I need a rest of everything, a reset of my mind, my behaviour..... could we start over from the beggening? teaching me how to talk gently to people? teaching me all about common sense? how to deal with difficult situations?
You know what? there came several occasions in my life when I got extremely keen and excited about an interesting affair, a one that could have fixed a lot of things in it, whenever I get seriously excited and start acting as though I'm right in the action and start picturing that affair, you know there comes always that unexpected event and it doesn't happen, just that simply. If I could describe my feeling at that moment I would say it's pretty much like truman finding the truth about his existance without being forced to remain his place.
Click to expand...
A lot of people fake it til they make it sort of thing but it's not completely natural.... people can hold up an image for years and find partners and friends with similar interest lifestyles personalities eventually people slide back and chill or the relationships don't last.... when your young you have more opportunity for excitement and less responsibility it's easier to be carefree and sociable it gets harder as we get older and even harder if you've been out of the loop for a while ... having good friends and relationships over the years makes you not take life or yourself too seriously or at least how to communicate relate and let off steam with other people and have some fun with it you grow more confident alot of it is about keeping up appearances and if you've got some genuine problems in life you can drift apart ... Some people are just naturally more socially versatile they have a strong desire to be liked and get involved and experience . Some people are on the back foot maybe there just isn't enough opportunity maybe they don't put themselves out there the way others who really want it ... maybe they never felt encouraged or a sense of approval maybe lack self esteem or they have depression before long people retreat into themselves and the opportunity to live outside your own self diminishes .... it's really down to how much energy you put out if your miserable all the time and never talk it's unlikely much will change . When I was in high school first and second year I was attracted to the hottest girl in the school but never spoke to her eventually I grew a set of balls and she started to notice me to.the point shed always flirt with me and would talk to my mates after school nearly everyday about something I did I know.i could have got with her and my mates would say she likes you she used to nip my leg in class and grab at my dick and she's get jealous if I flirted with other girls everyone wanted to get with her even dudes who's left school and about 5+ years older.... but I met a girl outside school and started going out. To this day she was probably one of the only girls I got to know so well and be comfortable and confident with i just enjoyed being around her.. it's difficult to find these days especially since social media I prefer to get to know people before I know wether I like them getting into a relationship sake just for the sake of it just feels pressured and you gotta pull all the stops out.... yea it's not easy meeting people or having an opportunity to get to know people especially if you've lost contacts or aren't into social media or online dating

But yea It's good to have friends they pull you out of yourself your in more social situations and you learn to relax and develop better social skills and be confident. it's a process but you can also lose them ... something happened in your life or you have bouts of depression you lose the same interest you used to have you become isolated and you see less of people and people can lose social skills ..... if you don't talk or socialise your just always in your own head how are you supposed to ever develop socially ... some people.ate just naturally very sociable or have a strong desire to be... it's not easy especially if you've been out of the loop for long-time or feel undervalued or are just naturally introverted ... I'm in a similar situation I.developed depression a few years back and pretty much pushed everyone out of my life stopped going out eventually people stopped trying which to be fair they were trying for years ...depression is like a self fulfilling prophecy even when you have strong freinds you have known for years and people giving you attention. with depression you want to be alone and you start to lose connections and social skills

I dont know what it is . Depression . Introverted personality..
 
Maybe we want to socialize because every one says it's a must, because that how we human are made. All the movies, cartoons (barbie, ponies, etc....), Facebook, etc. teach us that it's wonderful to have lots of friends. But does every one really want it? I would say I want friends, but I don't feel like spending much time with them. I know they might help me, and I could help them. I remember helping ppl which never ended as my friends... That all sounds stupid too me. How can I have friends if I would rather read a book than go and hang out with them. I don't believe I can change something by trying very hard, I rather believe in small steps that can lead me to more happiness in my life. I rather want to accept my life even if it looks dysfunctional from outside. Mental health among people is not at the same level. Currently preschool kids are very often treated for suspected asperger syndrome. Such mild mental illnesses are not easily spotted, but they prevent you from entering social situations. You might not even realize what you are doing wrong, but every other person just feel that you are not person to hang out with. There are emanating some bad vibrations from you. This is my observation, and I suppose everyone has some other views.
 
The little prince said:
hey
Have any of you thought that something is wrong with the world? That it's not going right? That people became excessively toxic and pointless? well that's what I feel everytime I go to school. I don't remember having a good attitude about people. I think that my fellows are just simple minded and avoid even looking at them. It's not that I loath them or anything, but it's just that I have a different nature and personality. Mum always tells me that I've been this way since I was a little kid because I didn't come out and play so easily. I had that kind of fear of the manner the outside world could spoil my culture. I'm giving myself more excuses now, and becoming less socialized than ever before. I don't talk to girls and I don't like the manner they behave either…. It's just ridiculous. I do pretty much everything alone, going to school, riding a bike, doing homework…. I feel satisfied with that but people always are the source of my inner suffer. I mean if anyone would ask me to give him my phone number or IG account I would replay that I don't have any of them. I get one of those silly faces of amazement as though as I have three nostrils. people always judge me by my looking behavior. I just can't control my emotions, in a moment I feel joy and enthusiasm, the next I'm the gloomiest person on the planet…. people and especially girls tell me horrible stuff, just because I don't give them the opportunity to introduce themselves. I rejected more than I girl before she could even start a conversation, and I know they could have gone far in showing off. I get rude like crazy and I can't even control what's coming out of my mouth.
I do have a different mentality, I don't wanna be socialized and never wanted to. I hoping to live alone in a wooden house I make with my own tools in the middle of the mountains. I wanna know how bio food tastes like, I wanna make my own art and music. I wanna read more books and write stories. I don't wanna meet any human being(except my family of course). The life that I wanna live is quite simple, no stress, no wife, no neighbors, no money…. I never told anyone this before and I wanna do it without anyone, so the will keep their mouths shut and their stupid ideas for themselves. People do judge anything and everything. It caused a lot of problems in my life. being with my fellows and hanging out annoys me as hell. I feel the urge to be all by myself devolopping my knowledge and skills. Last year I meat this girl and quickly got attached to her and she introduced me to her mum and I did like the atmosphere. So the idea of having a gf came to me brightly and I thought that it could be a solution to get out of 'my comfort zone'. So I met this girl which I liked a lot, she had a nice black hair and bright smiling face. I started talking to her between classes(believe me the approach wasn't easy at all), after about two weeks, I found her surrounded by her friend and it was hard for me talk to her, so I simply told her ' could you keep away from chimpanzees next time' she just looked at me and laughed, but I realized later on in a maths class that I said the least hilarious stuff ever. Guess what? I kept laughing at that for two days. it's just a short anecdote about my life. I decided that having a gf was a failure project.
Click to expand...

I might be considered cynical, but what you describe as "people suck and life is bad" is simply reality. I mean.. look at the royal family of UK, all smiley and perfect on events, but then once in a while some hidden secret thats been bugging them for years comes out.

And by the way, if she is not your girlfriend and you call her friend a chimp, she obviously gets defensive, and shit goes back to you.

So yeah, distance yourself from your situation, be the 3rd person, and then judge once more.
 
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