I don't think NoFap is the answer.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Yada91, Sep 29, 2014.

  1. Yada91

    Yada91 Fapstronaut

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    I haven't posted for a while, I've had some time away from NoFap to just think about everything and I've come to a conclusion that NoFap is not the answer.

    Now this article is purely my opinion and you can agree or disagree with what I say.

    I went on a 43 day streak of NoFap and all I could think about was Sex and Porn and how much I couldn't wait to get to 90 days so I could actually get laid. Eventually I relapsed after fantasising and then the flood gates opened. For the past week or so I've been PMOing not constantly but a few times and it's really not effected me negatively.

    I don't want to discourage anyone from NoFap as it does certainly help but what's important is CHANGE not the number of days you've gone clean.

    Since my relapses I've had a long think about the reasons I was doing NoFap in the first place. It was so I could reset my brain to be able to f**k girls like crazy. WRONG. This is going to keep sex in the back of your mind and eventually you'll fail, be it 90 days 365 days 10 years whatever and you're going to feel bad.

    Firstly understand why you are really doing NoFap. For me NoFap for me is about building confidence, so I can meet that 1 person. Sex does not matter to me. There is much more to life than sex think memories, experiences, intimacy, companionship. These are the reasons to do NoFap, not so you can blow your load.

    Anyway back to my point. NoFap helped me build my confidence and I'm really grateful for that because it's made my life much better. At the same time it turns you into a calendar, a time bomb waiting to explode.

    I thought about this today, in work I've been a lot more open and constructive with women and well today I gave a compliment to a girl and meant it, that for me is a HUGE step considering I am/was a Shemale porn addict. I relapsed 3 times yesterday but that did not stop me trying to spark a romance with this girl. I wasn't thinking about sex, ED, Porn, anything, it was the here and now.

    That my fellow fapstronaughts is down to confidence and fufilment towards my goal of finding the right girl for me not the reaching of 90 days.

    I'm not saying faping is acceptable, what I'm saying is if you slip up don't worry, as long as you are making positive changes and steps towards your ultimate goal you will end up in the right place.

    That said I am still going to participate in the NoFap challenge but I'm not going to be counting days I'm not going to be waiting until I can unload all my sp**k on some girls face. I'm going to judge my progress on striving towards my ultimate goal of having a positive healthy relationship (sex or not)
     
  2. ADC

    ADC Fapstronaut

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    I think I agree with you. I ever thought this "90 days and I'll be completely rebooted" mentality is pure bullshit and Nofap is not the answer to everything.

    I still strongly believe that stopping PMO forever is the best solution to get rid of PIED, no sensations because of death grip, no morning woods... It's working for me at least

    But stopping touching yourself and watching P won't make you tall, beautiful, in shape, intelligent and rich. If there's something wrong in my life, I have to fix it anyway. Stopping PMO is one thing. It doesn't improve everything else in your life if you do nothing :)
     
  3. IWantABetterLife22

    IWantABetterLife22 NoFap Moderator

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    A wise man once said "NoFap isn't the thing, it's the thing that gets you to do the thing." :p
     
  4. Finalfight123

    Finalfight123 Fapstronaut

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    Your right dude. Its a habit. Its a symptom but not the problem. I'm glad you see that. when people believe oh when I get to this day this will happen but the truth is, you do it. You make yourself better you complete your goals. NoFap just gives you more energy, time and less desensitization. So the rest is up to you. Congratz on giving her a compliment. And remember whatever was your thing in porn isn't you don't think of porn as what you like but rather what shocks your mind. So just because you liked it in porn doesn't mean that is what you'll like in real life.

    I know everyone is like hard mode all the way. But I see it as as long as you try not to M more than 3-4 times a week your fine. I try not to for now but eh. And having sex it makes new pathways that are with a real person. Porn just desensitizes you thats it so I think your goal should just be to focus on building yourself up making your skills better and hell try and get a girlfriend falls the best time in my opinion.
    Just focus on building the new and not fighting the old. I hope you get a great relationship good luck dude.
     
  5. Mr.Z

    Mr.Z Fapstronaut

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    Hi. I think that the greatest benefit NoFap gives you is the opening up of doors. As for me, I'm beginning to deal with my problems rather than avoiding them. It was as if someone had splashed me with cold water and said Wake Up! It's time to take action! During this past month I built up the courage to touch certain topics that I was too shy to touch in the past. I think it makes you gradually realize that you've been missing out on so many things in life. So yeah, it's not about numbers and counting days but it's about commitment, life style change.
     
  6. Mr.Z

    Mr.Z Fapstronaut

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    And there are days (hard ones) when you ask yourself when all these withdrawals and frustrations will end. So reading the positive things you've written and taking a look at your progress is always helpful. Like a reminder that says You've made this far, you make it further.
     

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