I don't understand all this.

sounds like a plan

Nope, I'm still at the beginning. But I have a girlfriend and I will enjoy the occasional sex while abstaining from M and porn.
It's your decision. But here you can find out

And good luck with quitting PMO!
Stay strong brother!

 

I'll continue to say the same thing that I have to others as well.

Sex is not the problem, PMO is. Sex with someone you love is pure, PMO isn't, so the issue is to deal with PMO.

Now, if you're someone who has been severely addicted to PMO, then try going a week or two without sex with your wife, which will somewhat allow you to cleanse. This method is much better than just deciding to have sex every now and then, which logically makes no sense. Either do a week or two weeks reboot from sex or don't do one at all.

The main key is to just allow yourself to deal with the urges and cravings as they come. Let the intensity of the desire to go and PMO pass through your body without acting upon it. You have to allow yourself to truly feel every single emotion that passes through your body, all day, everyday. Find out the causal reasons and emotions as to why you still decide to PMO even while married. Get to the root emotion.

It's more than just an urge. There are psychological and emotional reasons as to why we turn to PMO for relief, and the key is to be honest with yourself, do some soul searching and find out why and then work through those painful emotions and then just allow those feelings to pass through your body.

 

You want to build the relationship with your wife and end the one with the porn. Therefore, quit fapping to porn and get all the sex you can from your wife. Once you've successfully desensitized yourself to porn through extended avoidance and fully eliminated the addiction to view it; if your wife's libido falls far short of yours, you might want to make up the difference with masturbation so long as it's porn-free. NoFap is not inherently against masturbation, and it certainly isn't against marital sex. It is against the addiction to masturbating to porn.

 

still like this

I'm trying not to persuade my gf to sex when I'm in need. First bc to prevent frustration when she does't want to. Second bc I don't want this easy escape.
I think the relationship is helping me emotionally plus I have a O here and then without give in to my addiction. On the other hand the intimate contact (without sex following) often gets me aroused which makes the challenge kinda harder (best word to describe it )

Besides even sex with a loving partner can be selfish (do you agree, AlltheRage?)
But think this through this becomes way too complicated 4 me
- I rather turn back to what AlltheRage said instead of all the buts and whens. either way I'm still an addict and how said the wise japanese dog to me: You're thinking too much in sex

 

Sex can definitely be selfish, yeah. I actually dumped my previous ex for feeling like when we were making love that all she wanted was a sex fix, and actually had no desire to engage me on an emotional level.

She just wanted sex her way. It felt like I was just banging an object. She was also quite a cold person emotionally. She had to go.

If you ever feel like you're engaging in sex (in a relationship) for selfish reasons, just allow yourself to work through the emotions as to why you're selfishly indulging. If you ever feel that it's for selfish reasons, stop having sex with her until you let yourself find the emotional reasons behind why this is happening.