I don't want sex????? WTF?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by gaccts82, Oct 12, 2020.

  1. gaccts82

    gaccts82 Fapstronaut

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    I have been PMO since i was in like fucking elementary school. I used to think I was super horny. Recently I have not been horny at all. I think this is due to pornography. I have come a lot out of my shell since quarantine. I am beginning to love myself and appreciate myself for who I am. I want to quit pornography because of something I consider super weird.

    I am not getting horny from real life women. I lost my virginity when I was 18 and it wasn't a good experience. Since then I have had sex one other time and it was with a girl I had just met (at a party) and I was drunk. I stroked like 3 times and I realized that I fucking hated it (and im not sure if it was because of her or me). I had to get outta there. I have had crushed on girls before. Over quarantine I had a relationship fail with this girl that I knew from high school (im a sophomore in college). I thought that I loved her, but I think I was too attached and hyped her up to be something she wasn't. We didnt have sex, we would just hook up and basically fuck with our clothes on if that makes sense. I absolutely WANTED to do it, like this girl I actually really cared for and she was so fucking hot. But I didn't have that feeling. I look back to when I was in early high school, and I felt tits for my first time. It sent like a shock of feeling down and through my whole body. Like it was crazy. I was always expecting it to be like this when I banged a girl. It wasn't. I felt nothing.

    Since coming out of my shell, I have had other opportunities with girls. I met a girl at my friend's house, she knew her from back home. She was super cool and pretty, and I have been texting her since meeting her a few months ago (She goes to a different school a little far away). I did not expect anything from it, I just wanted to practice connecting to people. I always had a mask up and I have learned to be my true self, which was something I wanted to do more. I really tried hard to just send it as who I am.

    I bring this up because last weekend I went to a party (COVID YIKES) and there was a girl there that I knew from last year. We hit it off and were vibing hard. Shes a little too "Slutty". I don't like using that word because its degrading, but statistically speaking she has like 30+ bodies. There is nothing wrong to me about having a high body count, but since that one hookup I told you guys about earlier on, I developed a mindset that the reason the sex was so wack was because I was not connected to her. ANYWAY, it turns out that I was kinda connected to this girl at least on a conversational level. It was fun talking with her, the conversation was flowing and shit was going. I was being my real self around her and it felt good in that sense. We made out and shit, but the same thing happened. I had my hands on her bare fucking tits feeling her all the fuck up, kissing, and I didn't feel that feeling that I was talking about. Were is the lust? Its crazy to me, where is that uncontrollable desire that so many of my peers have? that this girl has? They literally cant fucking help themselves. In no way am I saying that I want to be a slave to my desire, but I at least want it to be there! I walked her home, and I knew she wanted to have sex with me. The thought of having sex, looking back at my previous experiences, just turned me off honestly. Maybe I have scared myself from bad experiences? Maybe I am just not ready yet?

    So weird. I have even started to think I might be gay. I don't think that this is valid, because I always dream about girls and being in romantic relationships. I have also never liked a guy. Its just so trippy. I am all over the place. I get turned on from naked girls on the computer tho. Maybe I only get turned on by myself? like the idea of my hand is what gets me going, not the girls? What the fuck even am I saying. So weird and confusing. please help
     
    Parasite likes this.
  2. InappropriateUsername

    InappropriateUsername Fapstronaut

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    One of the problems with heavy and long term porn use (I.e. addiction) is that you begin to require heavier stimulation, novelty and more dopamine to get that high. As a consequence, stuff that would normally get you “high,” like talking to a girl, kissing her or dry humping in a dorm room, ceases to do anything. Unless it’s some hardcore scene on a screen—you feel nothing.

    You have to reboot your brain so it reacts to normal stuff like it should.

    Quit porn forever, do a reboot and start doing good habits every day.
     
    BigBob73, Supination and BurgerChamp like this.
  3. gaccts82

    gaccts82 Fapstronaut

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    Ask me questions about anything and Ill answer honestly.
    a high is a good way to describe it. I want to do it, my brain wants it but my body doesnt feel it. Thanks man. Its so difficult for me to quit because I flatline super hard after a week every time, which reinforces THIS.... sooo lmao i just needa toughen it out
     
  4. InappropriateUsername

    InappropriateUsername Fapstronaut

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    I feel ya bro. I’m in a flatline that seems to be lasting almost 8 weeks! I usually only go through 2-3 before. Maybe it’s my brain doing some deep rewiring. Maybe I just have awhile before I’m where I need to be.

    Stay off porn, keep up the healthy stuff—working out, studying, eating good and keep being social. I feel that social part is a big component b/c we get so isolated and anxious about being around people.

    stay strong!
     
    gaccts82 likes this.
  5. gaccts82

    gaccts82 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks bro
     
    InappropriateUsername likes this.
  6. kingsizexx

    kingsizexx Fapstronaut

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    I guess you've grown up, congratulations !
     
  7. Parasite

    Parasite Fapstronaut

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    I can see that you and I have a lot of in common. I’ve been dealing with the identical issues. (I posted my story two days ago) Anyway I felt the same about every girl I start connecting with on sexual-emotional level. I have this like nervous-boner before something actually starts happening. However when it comes to the sexual act itself I suddenly lose that zeal I had before while I was getting to know her and creating that erotic kind of tension.
     
  8. gaccts82

    gaccts82 Fapstronaut

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    What u mean?
     
  9. Love Salvation

    Love Salvation Fapstronaut

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    I can relate being married brother .
    It's been hard , I've O in my new wife a few times but it's been very quick and not intimate or passionate and it really bothers me.
    Shes super attractive and everything I dream of.
    And like the other guy . I lose zeal when I'm inside her also . It goes soft and it's so hurtful for me and her . She is super understanding though .
     
  10. gaccts82

    gaccts82 Fapstronaut

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    Is this after you have rebooted? Why do you think this happens? I see you are 500+ days so im wondering if you are still feeling effects from your addiction
     
  11. Love Salvation

    Love Salvation Fapstronaut

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    No I had to reset my counter im sorry about that ,
    I'm going to try and spend more time working on this with my wife ,
     
    re-Wire likes this.
  12. Ignore him.
     
  13. Upwards2020

    Upwards2020 Fapstronaut

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    It's because you watch porn all the time . Plain and simple .

    Apart from that we develop as we get older . You learn more about what you like and what you don't. Not like when you were a teen . So transitioning from heavy long porn use you won't find yourself suddenly being attracted to every woman you meet. Libido will increase but there's more to life. Heavy porn use fucks you up because you've conditioned yourself to go straight to the source and forgotten everything else... myt take some time and introspection but staying away from porn should increase libido and interest.

    Porn fucks you up a bit. But saying that you have to actually make moves to feel something . Porn sort of numbs you. Also actual sexual chemistry. Porn is just pixels .Porn is like an overabundance of choice and possibility but it's not real and it can be overused abused and can cause desensitization.

    Doesn't happen over night where you should be wanting to sleep with every women you see. Put it this way there was a girl I knew but wasn't that attracted to her . She was good looking but so what. Then I started to.get to know her and we'd constantly flirt with each other for months . Got to the point I was getting hard just thinking about her and she basically told me she couldn't wait any longer. Good memories but it started off I didn't really have that much interest to never being so horny in all my life lol her too . She used to send her friends at parties to tell me where to meet her.

    Life is different these days boring as fuck . You need to be proactive and recover from long-term internet abuse.

    As we get older are test levels decline don't waste your energy on fapping multiple times a day

    And then you find girls ypur just like ... yea. Would lol
     
    Timecop likes this.
  14. Upwards2020

    Upwards2020 Fapstronaut

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    Put it this way I've found that with a shit tonne of porn use I'm less turned on by physical aspects and more intimacy. So for example watching a girl on cam is hot but you watch it so many times or nearly everyday it can become almost mechanical . Start talking to that girl and talking intimately with her and bang it's more than just a physical act. Why do you think people like to roleplay or have types. You ever look at a girl and you just click where other girls there's nothing it's called attraction just because your a dude doesn't mean you want to fuck everyone all the time
     
    re-Wire likes this.
  15. justname

    justname Fapstronaut

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    Same was happening to me, first time i had sex is when i was 19 years old, i couldn`t get erection and i was satisfying her with my tongue and hands, then she did the same to me but i felt terrible i thought something was extremly wrong with me, i thought i am the only men on planet experiencing that, until i found out this site and then i realized so meny men are experiencing same as me. I was often avoiding sex and going to do PMO becouse it was arousing me way more then real sex. Just do 90 days reboot
     

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