I doubt my sexuallity because of porn.

I have a problem with gay porn since circa a year, you can PM if you like to talk.

 

Sorry to hear that this is causing difficulty for you. In my case, I have questioned my sexuality because of porn, but I think it has just been altered, not in a good or bad way. If I suddenly became gay I don't think I'd feel too bad about it. I'd just fuck other men and suck dick or something.

 

Man, you have no reason for questioning your sexuality. You are as straight of a male as you were before. All the gay people I know said they knew (or sensed at least) that they were different before hitting puberty. Nothing is wrong with you, but there is something very wrong with porn.

As excitation can lead you to weird fetishes you would find disguising otherwise, so can it lead to this kind of sexual confusion ( and there are a lot of guys on the forums posting about this). Thanks to porn, you now find the idea of a (hot) male sexual partner as arousing, as you would find whatever toys are used in whatever fetishes. Stay away from this as much as possible, and get the best out of regular, healthy sexual interaction. Nobody becomes gay suddeny.

 

You're not the first straight man who has to deal with HOCD due to compulsive porn use! It's just how the brain works...It's called desensitization. It happens to almost every addict. Old things doesn't turn us on anymore. I am not gonna say it's normal but I am where you. I understand you. It's so hard to be in the middle, have no grounds... So here is what I think you should do(it has worked for me to a certain extent. I hope it helps you too).
It's not about how many days you stay clean. It's about the things you do in those days. What I am trying to say is that you really have to change your lifestyle. Doing meditation, cold showers, developing new habits in general and exercising can be real game changers. The problem is that we don't adhere to them consistently. That's why we think they don't work for us. The path to victory is not linear. You do change your lifestyle and you relapse again! That has happened to me before and maybe it will happen again, but what I know is that I am more aware of my actions and thoughts. It takes time to rewire the brain but it's definitely worth the effort. I wish a happy, healthy life mate. Good luck.

 

Totally agree with all you said and that consistency is key! Where I slip-up is that after a while of keeping to the routine I feel great and as if i never had these nagging thoughts. You then ease off the strict ness of your routine...and before you know it...back to square one.
You MUST keep to it.

Cheers