I eat sugar because I have no reason to live.

Discussion in 'Nutrition and Supplements' started by PappinAce, Jan 2, 2020.

  1. PappinAce

    PappinAce Fapstronaut

    I have lived a relatively joyless life. Some good things came into it (relationship, job) but I threw it all away after a series of idiotic and impulsive decisions. I checked out of this life long ago and now I'm just waiting around for the next one.

    Though I am at my lowest point probably ever, I am also on my 34th day PMO-free, which is the longest I've gone since discovering P in my early-mid teens. But a cloud of hopelessness and regret still hangs over me. I often fall back into the habit of mindless snacking, for instance eating spoonfuls of Nutella as if it were a bowl of cereal, because there is nothing else good in my life. I've always been able to get away with this stuff from a physical standpoint because of my high metabolism and because I play soccer and tennis frequently. But this refined sugar is poison to the neurotransmitters. Lots of wasted dopamine.

    I only feel contented, meditative, distant from the body when I'm using cannabis or ecstasy (or, for some reason, a combination of fasting and caffeine can do it for me). If I am to find my way to that mindset without external stimulants, I have to let my neurotransmitters get back in balance and start producing some serotonin again. I know that eating sweet things is not the way to go, but I am at an extremely low point. My sister has been kind enough to let me stay with her and my brother in law while I try to get myself back into the job market. No luck with that so far. Other than that I am working on a fantasy novel. I progress a little bit with it each day but it's hard to motivate myself to engage in creative pursuits when I know that I don't have a stable foundation.

    Despite the PMO-free month, I have not noticed any significant increase in my wellbeing. I am still sleeping restlessly and having bad dreams every night. I think self-improvement starts with learning how to get a good night's sleep, which I am hindering with my shitty eating habits. So, in 2020, this is the goal I want to move toward: eat cleaner, and leave at least 7 hours in between meals so that I can digest properly and feel real hunger before eating.
  2. interestingusername

    interestingusername Fapstronaut

    Thats awesome mate!
    Hopefully life will get brighter little by little, for believe me youre still too young to feel this sad and depressed.
    Your life is worth way more than a job, a diet, a habit, an addiction. As you proved you have good self control through the PMO challenge, so shall you win over all the other challenges, and find contemptment in bigger things, cause as long as you place your happiness in something finite, variable, changeable, then you will always have your ups and downs. Regardless, refined sugar is a poison present everywhere these days, that has been scientifically proven to stimulate the same areas in the brain as drugs! So, its also kind of an addiction, its simply a legal drug. We believe in you man, and congrats on going so long on nofap! Hopefully you’ll win over much more things in lifr.
  3. PappinAce

    PappinAce Fapstronaut

    Thank you for the kind words! Little by little is indeed the way. Every moment is a choice.

    Whether consciously or not, we all understand that fleeting sense pleasures are not a foundation on which to build our lives. Everything we do, we do with the goal of aligning ourselves with the infinite.
    interestingusername likes this.

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