I enjoyed Cuckold sex stories does that mean I want to be Cuckold ?

Without knowing every specific, it sounds to me as if you were just heading down the rabbit hole.

Just as an aside, perhaps a trigger warning at the start - I know it's there in the title, but you mentioned a company that really worked for me when I was PMO, so that might be good in future. I wasn't triggered myself, but I could easily see how someone else could be. A little kindness.

 

I'll usually put the following at the start of the main body of a post:

[TRIGGER WARNING]

People who know they might be triggered by the topic usually steer clear, but sometimes they can't help themselves. If you make an effort to warn them, then at least you're showing concern for them. I just know that when I saw B... I had a few flashbacks.

The good news is that you will heal from this. It will take time, and it will be difficult, but the important thing to remember is that those things aren't part of the man you want to be. You want to be strong and confident and kickin' it. Give yourself the gift of a 90-day reboot - you'll thank yourself in August. If you slip and fall, get back up and keep moving. Understand that you're not the only one here in your situation (I've just responded to another member with similar issues - @faiz ahmed) and there are other, more experienced members here to help you when you feel weak.

You've got this, okay.

 

It's not all you require, but it's a bloody good start.

 

The cuckold stuff is very bad. I know well the stories to which you refer & the feeling you describe... the sick feeling in your gut, but the excitement of doing something taboo or wrong. Let me tell you that it's a lie. The whole thing is manipulation and no good can ever come from it.

 

In all honesty I would be a horrible choice to discuss strategies with. I'm a much better "cautionary tale". I don't know what attracted me to it in the 1st place. I'm married, love my wife, & have no interest in being humiliated or dominated. I like many addicts, kept pushing the envelope to get a bigger high. Regular old porn was OK, but didn't seem to excite me. I encountered cuckold stuff and it was so wrong. The thought of participating in that with my wife made a huge knot in the pit of my stomach, but was exciting for some reason. I started searching that stuff out and when that wasn't enough, I started fishing for guys on various sites. That is a common next step, to move fantasy to real life in order to intensify the rush. I went so far as to record my wife on a hidden camera.... I don't know why. I assume I was going to distribute it or use it to fish for guys... One day I looked in the mirror and saw who I was... who I let porn turn me into, the things I'd done and was contemplating doing. I hated myself at that instant, still do in a way. However, hate is not a helpful emotion in this process. I started SAA, returned to NOFAP and have been OK so far. It is a battle, but I feel better about who I am right now. Don't fool yourself. You need to stop this behavior now.

 

Bro, don't worry at all. It's a symptom of porn addiction. Once you kick your addiction and start getting aroused by real, natural sex you will get healed. When you head down the Porn rabbit hole it's normal to develop this weird fetishes, and it's also normal to feel ashamed about them. They are a product of addiction, THEY ARE NOT YOU.

 

maybe can be the start of becoming a cuckold

 

It really depends, and is most likely too early to say. Once the smoke clears from the PMO frenzy (potentially 2+ years for the lust of the mind to balance out) you will be left with your true sexual balance. You might find you’re into cuckold or not.

I’m 29 days sober, so I have some more time for my own twisted fantasies to go away, but I can tell you that already, my incredibly wide sexual boundaries are slightly starting to get smaller and my sexual urges are changing a very little bit.

Some of the strong kinks are still in my head, so they might take more time to balance, but the newer genres that I stumbled upon online over the past year are weaker and seem to be getting less.

Hope this helps!!

 

One of the things I really related to in the nofap starter-guide was the explanation that pornography desensitizes you -- so that you need progressively more and more outrageous stimulation to achieve the feeling you crave from it. And, I can tell you that, when I began this process (or downward spiral) ten years ago... there were certain fetishes that disgusted me SOO deeply, I would not even read posts or open threads made by people that I knew engaged in them. It was UNTHINKABLE to me that I would ever accept, or try, or participate in those degraded things.

Fast forward six years, and they had become my all-consuming obsessions. So, to answer your question... I don't doubt that you've probably developed a genuine fascination with cuckolding. But, it also wouldn't surprise me if you hate it, feel disgusting for it, and wish you could just stop.

So, no... this is almost certainly NOT something that's natural to you. It's the kind of sexual derangement that's induced by addiction to pornography. Nobody just starts out saying to themselves, "I want to be emasculated and destroyed and thrown away." There's a long and ugly process that proceeds that.

And I understand what you're going through, because I'm going through it myself. Hang in there man.