I fapped for more than 3000 girls and had sex only with one girl

It is so funny to think how many times I fapped on the sofa imagining all those girls -black and white, skinny and voluptuous, underaged and old, tall and short... All were so accessible... It was so easy to hook up with them and then bang them. They loved me. Different scenes... In one scene I was aggressive, in another I was humble and caring. There were some days that I would write the names of the girls on the piece of paper and cast them in the box. After I was shuffling the box and drawing one name casually. After I would have very forgettable sex with her and then roll into insomnia. During those nights when my nerves were tickling all over my body and thoughts were drifting at the light speed, I would roll over in bed wishing to die. In the end when I managed to sleep, I would wake up after 4 hours with splitting headache and ominous prospective ahead. In my fap-dreams girls were so ideal, so flawless, that I would thank God for them... After fapping I would pray God to stop this addiction and save me. Apparently God wanted me to work out my own recovery. When I was with real girls I was shy and unresponsive to their actions. Some of them were sensing my vulnerability and laughing at me, but not all of them. Once my friends paid to a hooker to have sex with her... There were three of us. I was first. It was my first experience. My dick was not getting hard. She started to stimulate manually. So when she finally managed to wake him up, I had that noise in my head that I would fail... My brain was dominating over me... Though when I got home I fapped ...