I fear that the only reason I can refuse porn is because of blockers?

Basically I don't use a smart phone because I couldn't get a blocking system on a smart phone that I couldn't bypass. So I just use a rubbish old phone for phoning people and texting.

I have a really good blocking system on my laptop that blocks so much stuff it is unbelievable. Basically the most thing's I can relapse to on the internet is safe search google images or youtube restricted videos. I rarely ever relapse to these things, and if I ever do relapse to these things I am usually done within minutes. Basically it's not on the same scale as relapsing when everything is unblocked.

My friend is really clever with computers, and he is actually the administrator of my laptop, and I just use a standard account on my laptop, and my friend also holds the login details and passwords to all the blockers I use. My friend lives a mile away from where I live, and if I ever need something downloaded, deleted or fixed on my laptop I need to take it to my friends house to get it fixed.

Now if I really want everything unblocked I can take my laptop to my friends and get him to unblock it. But this is something I rarely ever do. The only time I ever do this is when I have a very bad hangover from alcohol. Because for some reason a hangover seems to make me extremely horny. The worse the hangover the more horny I seem to be.

So last night for instance I drank a half bottle of Jack Daniels and today I am a little hungover, but not too bad. But I was a little horny earlier and I was thinking I quite fancy going on porn. But I feel like I can definitely refuse it. No way am I going to walk a mile to my friends to get him to unblock and then walk a mile back just to have porn unblocked for a little while. I feel like this is enough of a deterrent for me to completely refuse porn today.

But my worry is if I didn't have this blocking system in place I know it's highly likely I would of been on porn today. See the thing is it's quite bad on my part, because I do feel like my will power is much better compared to what it used to be, and I don't even like porn as much as I used to. Like at one time I would of been running to my friends today to get him to unblock it, where as these days I just refuse it much easier. But like I said if I could access it instantly at any time I want I do worry I would relapse on it much easier.

Like I could go on porn not even feeling that horny, but then the more I peek at it before I know it I am feeling horny for it.

My worry is I don't think I can have a blocking system in place forever. For the most part I have been doing well, but the worry is I mainly put that down to the blocking system I have in place. I mean I can still walk a mile and get my friend to unblock it and then walk a mile back. But I just feel like it's a hassle and not even worth it. I feel like walking a mile and going through the hassle of my friend blocking it and then having to walk a mile isn't worth it anyway, it is enough of a deterrent for me to say no. Where as having access to it right in front of me instantly and refusing it seems completely different. It seems much more difficult not to go searching and peeking at it if it is instantly accessible right in front of me like that.

I just worry because I feel like the main reason I do well is because I simply can't access it, and I have enough of a deterrent not to go through the hassle of being able to get on it. Where as if it is instantly accessible right in front of me this is much more difficult to refuse.

Like I said I just worry because I feel like I am going need to refuse it on my own one day.

 

Thanks man. See it's different these days. At one time I would of felt like the urge to go on porn would of been screaming at me. Where as now it's basically just talking quietly saying I quite fancy some porn. I feel like I can easily refuse it.

But yeah like I said if it was easily accessible right in front of me I do feel like it would be much more difficult.

 

Thanks man.

 

I agree with you in some ways and not in other ways. Like I have felt like I have had no urges what so ever to search or look at porn at all a lot of the time. But I don't think the urge to search and view porn goes away completely forever. I think you get to a point you feel like it doesn't or hardly exists, and your just not getting any urges what so ever to search or view it. But even relapsing on it once can cause all those powerful urges to come flooding back.

 

I need a blocking system I can't bypass. That's how my friend is really helping making it near impossible for me to bypass it. Even if I could get past it it's so much hassle I wouldn't even try.

Well today I have been hungover lying about in bed all day, and I don't even feel horny. But I just think chatting to women on social media or on some sort of cam site seems really appealing. Like I said I don't feel horny but still want to do this. But I haven't done it because of the blockers.

But the worry is if I didn't have the blockers I honestly think I would of binged today. So this frightens me because it makes me think I will always relapse if I don't have blockers.

I mean if I want to go on it and I'm not even horny then what hope do I have?

 

Ah see that wouldn't work for me. If I can access social media, dating sites and things like that then it wouldn't work for me. I actually think social media websites turn me on the most these days. I could probably also access unrestricted images and unrestricted youtube videos on a smart phone.

I don't think I could block a smart phone to anywhere near the same level as my laptop.

I knew I could block what is categorised as porn content on a smart phone with it being difficult to bypass. But lets face it, it's not just what is categorised as porn content that is the problem. Like I said social media sites actually seem to turn me on more than porn websites these days. I seem to be more turned on at interacting with real women online more than just watching porn videos.

 

I agree with that. It's as if I sometimes feel like I just want to see it because I hardly ever see it.

I also feel like sometimes when I get the chance to see it I search it as quickly as possible to see it. Not because I am horny, but simply because it almost feels like some sort of opportunity to get a quick peak.

But that being said I do still feel like I do much better with this blocking system in place. But like I said what worries me is if I didn't have this blocking system I feel like I would relapse much more often. But then again maybe I do need to learn to refuse it when I can access it easily.

At this point I would be scared to stop blocking it.