I feel as if I'm a pedo.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Moatasem, May 17, 2021.

  1. Moatasem

    Moatasem Fapstronaut

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    Definitely man, patently, I have to quit this, normal porn, bdsm content, foot fetish content doesn't excite me anymore, so I start to go into cp stuff (which I still haven't gotten into), I have to save myself before it escalates.
     
  2. Moatasem

    Moatasem Fapstronaut

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    Thank god I realized that I have a problem at such a young age, imagine if I didn't now about NoFap, I would be in another world.
     
  3. Bro I escalated down a really fucked up path started watching trans, gay, bestiality but we all deserve a chance at a new life and redemption. Today just quit for life and install porn blockers.
     
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  4. Moatasem

    Moatasem Fapstronaut

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    I already set up a porn blocker with my friend on my laptop, all that is left is the phone, hopefully I can block porn on my phone, and BAM! I'm free :3.
     
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  5. MindfulWarrior

    MindfulWarrior Fapstronaut

    I would encourage you to read Your Brain On Porn, you will understand better why that is happening to you.
     
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  6. Anti-Hero

    Anti-Hero Fapstronaut

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    It seems to me you need to let off steam. Do you exercise?
     
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  7. Moatasem

    Moatasem Fapstronaut

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    I used to play basketball like 3 to 4 times a week in a sports club, but this was 1 year ago, after I finish school which is my last ever exam tomorrow until I'm free, I'm going to play sports again because my parents want me to do sports.
     
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  8. Moatasem

    Moatasem Fapstronaut

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    I know Gary Wilson, Your Brain On Porn, and many other sites, organizations promoting the idea that porn is harmful, I've seen this site a couple of times, and read about the dopamine centers, prefrontal cortex and learned many things. It was honestly helpful.
     
  9. MindfulWarrior

    MindfulWarrior Fapstronaut

    I mean the actual book, it goes in depth on what you're experiencing, the escalating, which would give you a lot of relief if you read it, and hope, which would motivate you to change and feel better.
     
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  10. Moatasem

    Moatasem Fapstronaut

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    Actually, thank you so much for reminding me, because I planned to read this book since the beginning of last year, but still didn't do it, you reminded me :3.
     
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  11. Moatasem

    Moatasem Fapstronaut

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    Guys, this is something peculiar I've encountered these days, I get impulsive easily, like when someone orders me to do something, I clench my teeth, and sometimes I hit the table so hard, hit the air or even close the door hard, like when someone tells me to do something, homework for instance, I get so angry, even sometimes my face gets a little reddish, even when I was young in kindergarten, I used to have aggressive behaviors and sometimes bully other children, and box them, until now, I get some violent urges, it's like I want to fistfight someone for no reason, or buy a gun and kill someone, I'm terribly concerned.
     
  12. Moatasem

    Moatasem Fapstronaut

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    I hope once I quit porn, this problem recedes.
     
  13. You said you want to do sports and you are having anger issues? Try martial arts. Any one will serve, whatever you have nearby: Boxing, Kickboxing, Muay Thai, Judo, Karate, TKWDO, Wrestling, BJJ, MMA...

    The thing is, I was a very angry teenager, pretty much like you. Then I started a life of martial arts and it REALLY helped to discipline me, to get the shit out of my head, to blow off steam all at once. It was the greatest decision of my life and you get a lot out of it.
    You'll be fitter, able to defend yourself and just all around feel more balanced. Give it a try!

    A lot of famous martial artists started because they were bullied or had anger issues.
     
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  14. Moatasem

    Moatasem Fapstronaut

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    I heard yoga is good too.
     
  15. Valkus90

    Valkus90 Fapstronaut

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    Not gonna lie, I'm legit proud of you. Ain't worth wasting your life, when life has barely started for you. Thats why porn is just fucked in general, it messes with your mind in such a way that its compared to meth. So don't go to the extreme right away, just gotta breath and legit think everything through. You're worth it, I'm worth it.

    You're good homie
     
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  16. Moatasem

    Moatasem Fapstronaut

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    Sorry for being a little late on this one, but how in the fucking world can we deal with POCD? These intrusive thoughts come once in a while and then they go.
    Allow me to elaborate, I think about how I'm a atrocious human being for feeling an attraction to this filth, every time my brain keeps overthinking that I'm going to get slandered by people if someone discovers my pedo thing (albeit I didn't watch cp), it's like my brain is invariably overwhelmed and keeps overthinking, I feel scared for a short time like a few hours, then I feel better again and I regain my morale back again, I'm confident that I can quit. Nevertheless, the next day I think about it again, it's infuriating and makes my anxiety levels go up, sometimes even my anxiety would cause me to have arousals for no sexual reason, and sometimes my heart rate is so high that I would sometimes pandiculate and stretch my chest and my anxiety levels go up again, this pedo thing is inextricable and it's slowly encroaching my life in a negative way, my procrastination is deteriorating again, yesterday I cried for one hour straight that I wasted my studies and life because of my porn, NoFap, and pedo obsession, and today I also cried in the morning again for not doing good this year and not meeting up with my parents expectations to get good grades in school, even though I know POCD goes away, there's still a part of me that feels ashamed because I'm going to keep this a confidential secret and a covert plight for the rest of my life, how the heck can I stop thinking about this?
     
  17. El Husk

    El Husk Fapstronaut

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    Read “the man who couldn’t stop” by David Adam. It’s all about OCD, how it develops, how you can live with it, and how even normal people have disturbing thoughts from time to time. It’s actually quite a common mental disability but there are varying degrees of how it affects people.
     
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  18. Moatasem

    Moatasem Fapstronaut

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    Definitely going to read it lad.
     
  19. MeTP

    MeTP Fapstronaut

    Yoga is too static.

    I second to what When All Light Dies wrote. Years ago I found martial arts my remedy to anger and other issues. It kept me perfectly balanced.
     
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  20. MindfulWarrior

    MindfulWarrior Fapstronaut

    Pointless comparison IMO. Martial arts is awesome. Yoga is awesome too, it's like a physical meditation, more mobility too. They're too different things.
     
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