Hello all. I was on a pretty long streak (for me). I went 17 days without watching porn. This was good and all, but I started to feel kinda "dead inside" the past few weeks. I was wondering why I was feeling this way. I was constantly stuck in my head, overthinking things, shaming myself, feeling like a loser. I felt almost nothing, the idea of women wasn't turning me on. I didn't have any energy at all, and I spoke with no force or bass. I started to overthink all this. I wondered why I felt no attraction towards women or the desire for anything. This made me a little scared, and I decided I was going to try to edge. Long story short, I relapsed on PMO. The feelings I felt when I looked at P felt really good. I realized then and there that I am not turned on by normal women like I am by porn. After DAYS of not feeling anything, I finally felt something. Besides the shame of breaking my streak, I honestly felt pretty good for the rest of the day. I had an abundance of energy and I spoke with confidence and power. I was able to seriously focus on my schoolwork. I was feeling like I was going to burst with the energy I had. I kept running around and yelling and screaming, super weird huh? And my overthinking completely went away. I felt like I had CONTROL over my brain. Normally I would think bad thoughts and just let them run their course, ruining my mood and making me depressed. But yesterday I was simply able to tell myself, "i dont wanna think about that" and the thoughts just went away. It was crazy. I was chillin with some of my friends and I was actually present to the moment 100% of the time. I am so used to dozing off in my own thoughts and forgetting what is happening with people. This time I was actually able to BE IN THE MOMENT. Why did I feel like this? I have some theories. Being a chronic over-thinker, I felt abnormal while I was abstaining from PMO. I had no sexual desire because I am trained to only get turned on by porn. I felt like I wasn't a normal teenager. I was probably depressed during that time because of that, which made me never in the moment and no confidence. But when I relapsed I remembered the feeling. I should be feeling that towards real girls, not my computer screen. Is this normal? The feeling nothing? If I stick with NoFap for 90 days will I start to feel towards real women the way I feel towards porn? I am scared to start again and feel nothing like I did the past 2 weeks.