I'm 33 years and have no confidence around other men. I feel so extremely inferior to them that I place all of them on a pedestal. Show me the most unsuccessful and ugliest guy you know and I promise I would treat him like he's amazing and I'm his biggest fan. I get submissive, feel dominated, judged, falling short and think of all my shortcoming as a man. While I'm with girls, on the other hand, I feel pretty good. I'm not good looking, but I feel I got the upper-hand. I'm nervous as fuck around pretty girls and say a lot of stupid things, I want them to like me and so on, but it's in a completely different way. I feel alive, I like to flirt, talk with them, I'm assertive and have confidence in my self. With men I feel like I'm constantly put in place, like "who do you think you are?". It's like it brings up a post-traumatic wound (I was also scared by my step-father, while he was alive). I feel like crying if they yell at me, I never talk back to them or speak up for my self. I just sit quiet and let them do the talking, while feeling like I'm a fucking joke compared to them. It has become so weird that it's almost like it has triggered some kind of emotional attraction for them. It's really strange. I can talk to my grandfather, father or brother and end up feeling dominated by them and seeing them through a "lens" which makes them look fantastic and perfect. It's like I want their approval, to care about me, give me a hug and just be nice to me.