I feel like I am in a small minority?

Not unfair at all, watching porn and masturbating is a very new and wrong behavior.

Nobody should want to watch porn and masturbate.

You're victimising yourself.

 

You have no idea what is going on in the minds of other people. Maybe everyone is struggling. It is known that the generation who grew up on internetporn is having way more sexual problems then other generations (although every generation has it's problems off course). You're creating a frame where everybody gets all the fun and it's just poor little you. Get out of that frame. YOU have a problem with something, so to make your life better, you have to take responsibility and you have to do something about it. I think it's as simple as that.

I do understand what you mean though. It is hard in this digital age. What helps me are blockers on my phone and computer. Very hard to get to porn, on the phone it's impossible. I also blocked twitter on all my devices because porncompanies and stars post little clips there. You need to give someone else the password or else you'll just type it in when think "to hell with this whole nofap"

 

I agree completely.

 

There's people dying of all sorts of horrible things as we speak. That's unfair.
Let's take the opportunity to improve our lives.

 

It isn't fair, but life isn't fair. There are people whose lives are just wonder and others whose lives are just horrible.

You should also remember that you are abstaining from sexual stimuli because you are trying to make your life better by fighting the addiction. It's like an alcoholic abstaining from alcohol while non-alcoholics can enjoy it. Everybody is different and you need to do what is best for you rather than comparing with how others live.

 

You are not wearing their shoes. How do you know they are faring any better than you are?

 

I think that a lot of people are affected - I suspect most people (like me, for a long time) aren't even aware they have a serious problem - like the proverbial frog slowly cooking to death in the pot of water as the temperature rises.

If / when I kick the habit myself, I want to qualify and study the extent of the problem as an academic - there are so many questions about how bad this problem is - ie how many people are REALLY affected, how badly, who they are etc. Whether it's 1% or 50% of any particular section of the population - at the moment we have no idea because so many people are in denial about their own problems, and about how it affects other people around them, plus it is massively taboo as a subject. Maybe we are in a relatively small minority who are the digital equivalent of alcoholics; or maybe we're fairly normal. Either way, there are plenty of people on this forum, and in other recovery communities who are going through very similar experiences.

This video from Mark Queppet gave me some useful perspective:

 

Be glad man, strange people are way more interesting You just do what works for you right now! And I know what you mean; I also had a time where I did a lot of PMO and got laid. And for the outsider that might seem like heaven; indulging in the addiction while having none of the problems that come with it. The thing is, for me at least, it was still messed up: I tried to recreate the P with reallife partners and when PMOing I was looking for clips with girls who looked like the ones I had sex with. Completely messed up when you think about it. The grass is always greener on the other side. I think the question you posted is really interesting and a real thing for everyone struggling with this addictions. The newness is just so seductive and powerful.. But it's a paradox really. Because what you perceive as NEW, is actually taking you back to habbits that are OLD. NEW would be viewing the world without this matrix of porn over our eyes.

 

Thanks for being honest here and for sharing your frustration!

However, you should change your perspective into: What do I gain? If you focus on the hardship, your motivation will sooner or later be undermined.

 

People lie and hide the truth. Plenty of people take drugs, legal and illegal, to fix or help cope with their problems. So you really have no idea what is going on with other people. But even if how you imagine things is the way they are who cares? Your job is to get yourself right. Your job is to deal with yourself with whatever experiences and tendencies you have. It may not be fair but life isn’t fair. It is fine to briefly experience the emotion of unfairness. But then you have to step up, take charge, and go about dealing with your life.

 

I've had the same thought, actually. But you just got to roll and make best with what you got. Even if a vast majority of people could regularly masturbate to porn/IG and have no consquences from it (I don't believe that by the way) but it's nonetheless causing you a problem, then you need to do what is best for you and cut out that shit regardless.

But I get what you're saying. The same goes for me and alcohol. Other people can consume, and largely do so responsibly, but it's not for me. I need to make decisions on what bests optimizes within my constraints.

 

I'll be honest, though, I've consumed both alcohol and porn, and realized that I need to cut out both.

The way I feel now, I don't miss either. To hell with what other people do.