I’m 32 years old. I’ve been looking at porn since I was about 10 or so. I used as a copping mechanism when my parents were going through problems and it stuck with me ever since. At 20 I met the woman who is now my wife, during our relationship together I cheated on her a few times, checked people out, and looked at the porn constantly. We are now married for 7 years. With in the last 7-8 months everything has come to light. My wife has been amazing through it all, putting up with the porn she found ( which was horrific to say the least) the admitting to what happened when I cheated on her, as well as my lying back and forth to her about what had happened in the past and what didn’t happen. I even made up the fact that I got a blow job from someone. When all of this came to light I put my wife through the worst possible, calling her fat, comparing her body to others, putting her tot he brink of suicide with how I made her feel. I know I’m making lighter of this than what really happened. But through all of this my wife stayed with me, and even though I have dropped the porn, drawn and real, dropped the following of instagram whores, dropped my and deleted my tumblr and every other porn collection I had woven into every part of any social media I came across,deleted dating profiles and a secret email, the biggest thing she said I needed to not do was to lie to her anymore. Last night we had gotten into a discussion, I’m not good about bringing up what happened in the past, but she deserves to know, and she needs to know so she can move forward. I lied about why I signed onto Ashley Madison. To be honest I don’t even remember signing on because I didn’t use it for anything. But I had one regardless. And I lied about why I had it instead of telling her I don’t know. Does anyone else have trouble being honest after all of this? I love my wife very deeply. And I want nothing more than to make her happy in life, we have 2 kids. I want to build our family into something that is happy, that is healthy. What do I do?
I feel like I have thrown my life and family away.
- Thread starter Squidham
- Start date
Peiskos
Fapstronaut
You’ve mentioned things you have to do, delete all your secret porn stashes, secret emails etc.
You said your wife is still with you, you have kids. Take this as an opportunity to restart and rebuild your life by being a better husband and father. It could have been so much worse, your wife could have left you and taken the kids.
Stay away from the internet at all costs if you can, only use it if you must. You’re essentially like an alcoholic you can’t be touching bottles or being around them because it’s a trigger. You’ve been given a second shot, don’t squander it.
You said your wife is still with you, you have kids. Take this as an opportunity to restart and rebuild your life by being a better husband and father. It could have been so much worse, your wife could have left you and taken the kids.
Stay away from the internet at all costs if you can, only use it if you must. You’re essentially like an alcoholic you can’t be touching bottles or being around them because it’s a trigger. You’ve been given a second shot, don’t squander it.