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Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by TheBeachBionic, Jul 25, 2018.
hey their do you find your self relapsing after a rejection??
I don't want to be insensitive or anything but I've seen some other post from you and you never give any background or explain yourself... honestly it looks just lile self pity to me and that's not gonna get you anywhere, do you try to improve yourself? Try to be yourself and show how you really are? Anything?
I may be wrong but just whining about stuff it's not helpful... I'm sorry if this seems like an attack or something but I had to be honest.
Saw this quote the other day:
Don't worry about finding the right woman, concentrate on becoming the right man.
Change the genders, and I think it may apply in your situation. A little cheesy quote but I think its easy for us to keep blaming the opposite sex and not look into ourselves.
I find myself hating on beautiful girls sometimes... Out of my league, and don't give me the time of day, you know the type... But then I realize that's the cruel nature of this game of life. Why should they settle if they are able to get a much more interesting, charismatic, and affluent partner? I know I wouldn't. Facing Cold hard truth is first. You are not good enough, at this moment in time. Swallow that, then you know what to improve about yourself.
I disagree with the idea of "fake it till you make it" but somethings gotta change and its not going to be them.
This. Just why not? Society is too patriarchal already and only about 5% or fewer women start or take initiative during "courtship", if you are different you are going to stand out by a huge margin.
More people meet through online networks, than they do through approaches these days. With that sort of thinking, saying that meeting people online is dangerous. You are essentially blocking yourself, from meeting a considerably high volume of good people. No offence. Just look at the statistics of online dating. I know a lot of people who have met their significant other on a dating app. And the reverse is also true. I have talked to a few girls on online dating apps before. A few of them did not trust online dating at all. So they were not open to meeting people. Honestly i don't know why they were there in the first place... They complained that they could not meet a genuine guy in real life. So they are trying online dating. But they are still not open to meeting people. So do you know what the result was?
They stay lonely, and nothing ever changes because they are afraid to take a leap of faith and actually meet someone. Don't be like that, dating is fun when you are open to other people entering your life.
Well if you believe in luck then there is no "why". luck is luck, you have bad not good luck, why? Because.. luck.
If you have given up the responsibility of why things are happening the way they are you are doomed. Even if good luck comes along, you won't know why because luck has no why and so you will not be able to replicate the how from which it came to be.
Take controle, take responsibility. If you dont have what you want its your fault. Which is great because once something is your fault it means YOU can fix the fault. Which in turn is more good news as you are in controle of you.. or atleast you can be with a bit of work.
Now as mentioned we have no information about you to go on so I will speak some advice I would have liked when I also asked myself why I was alone, why I couldnt find anyone. This is all I can do. You may be able to relate, if so great. If not oh well.
Firstly, you shouldn't be searching, when people say focus on yourself it may sound cheesy but if you dont like yourself nobody else will either.
Attraction of others isnt supposed to be a goal, it's a by product a reward even.
You aim is supposed to be to first make yourself the best virsion of you possible. To be competent in as many aspects as you can handle. Then to aim that competence toward an area you find meaning in. I.e. a profession you love or a study you can grow in. You know when your doing it right because you're too busy to think about finding people. To busy to care about confidence of even your own appeal to others. People can see this. Alas this is when people start to notice you, when you actualy have something worth noticing. Would you want to date you as you are now? How about the best version of you if you could wave a wand? Aim for that, you may never make it but success will cirtainly be waiting for you on the way. The problem may not be that others dont want you or that you can't find someone, it may be that YOU dont want you, that YOU havent found yourself yet. Start small. Order your goals from your biggest dreams to cleaning out the old socks in your draw. Do all the easy tasks first and work your way up, you will build yourself up as your list strinks. I often think people have more use of their third eye than we know. When you treat yourself right people can see it, even if physicly you are the same. What do people see in you right now? What do you want them to see from you in the future?
Another point to touch on is why you want someone else. Are you trying to find natural love or fill a hole left by unfulfilled dreams or even possibly trauma? sit with yourself and go deep.
Lastly you might be looking for an answer but the truth is there isn't one that can be written. You can't write a question like that without knowing the answer atleast deep down. Maybe you're looking for an answer different than the one you know to be true. But the only right answer to anything isn't in words it's in action.
Guys dont date you? Go make it impossible for them not to.. biatch.
**Try to get your own house in order.**
I do not have mine in order yet. I know for a fact that the new shiny will not fill the whole.
That won't help me get luck with guys.
Negativity won't help you have luck with guys.
because finding somebody to a date is hard. Try to look like someone who is available to meet people that is how guys understand that you want to be approached or go out there like a pickup artist to see what you get haha.
@TheBeachBionic might need a little bit of background to know your situation. In what way are you having no luck with guys?
luck never happens and i don't know all this dating crap
Working out, gaining new skills or improving, learning useful things or accomplishing something ( like fixing your car or building a fence), going out of your comfort zone socially (chat up the cute teller and make her laugh for example). Experience time in nature (nature has a way of helping you find a healthy perspective on life), learn to meditate ( google transcendental meditation).
All these and more would do wonders to boost your confidence and feeling of self worth. Remove depression, and help you realize that so many people are feeling what you are, all the time. Others are no better than you are, and you are worthy of great things, one of which are the affections of a good woman.
Best of luck, I hope you try some of these things!
Another way for a woman to stand out is wearing a flower in her hair. Not many women do that, so it draws attention like a beacon!
Luck exists. It is linked to your destiny which many never actualize. Luck is shaped by your willingness to be courageous when challenges come to you or if you persue them willingly. When that happens you must learn to seize opportunity by being bold and taking what is offered with both hands. Your sexual energy (aka anxiety or lack thereof) plays a big part in your decisions as well. Do not fantasize about relationships and take more risks.
Lol we're gonna need more info than "Why am I not lucky."
blame feminism and all the woman who join the "ME TO movement" even though nothing happened.
lots of guys are scared to aprouch a girl or aks them out not because they fear rejection no they fear the social consequences like getting shamed, court and so on.
certain woman have created a environment where man are scared of picking up woman.
Also there are a lot of woman who join "the rape culture movement" and don't date guys that approach them. Wich results in some guys just giving up because even though they are interested they don't go in on it.
Thats my point of view on it why i didn't approach woman at some point in my life because i was scared of the possibilities of getting shamed.
Men are attracted to confidence, it is hard to be confident when dealing with so many issues. Don't bother changing yourself, just know you are worth it. If you see an interaction you truly want, go to it with confidence. Men are being more hesitant about approaching women due to movements like #MeToo, but most never mind if the woman makes the move.
Maybe you should improve you're signals like keep looking at a guy for a long period of time and smiling at him.
my ex girfriend looked at me and then looked away. i thought she wasn't interested guess again.
also may sound weird but don't fap when you do you're body will give pheromone's to the other sex wich results in more guys checking yo out.
What do I do if I want guys to message me in Facebook?