I feel like I might never get a boyfriend?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by TheBeachBionic, Jul 25, 2018.

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  1. Jason_Tesla_19

    Jason_Tesla_19 Fapstronaut

    Are you referring to strangers trying to message you, or your friends messaging you? You can't control other people's behavior, but you can do things like trying to seem fun and inviting, and posting your best pictures which try to display that. Cultivate interests and list them on Facebook. The more friends you have on Facebook, and the more interests you list, the more likely you will show up under "Discover People" or "Mutual Friends".
     
    kropo82 likes this.
  2. Deleted your Fb and start talked to real people instead.
     
  3. Outstanding suggestion!
     
  4. I think Facebook is actually making people more isolated while it fools everyone into thinking they’re connecting. True connections with others are face to face not via computer or phone screens. Put the phone down, turn off the computer, and get out and meet people.
     
  5. TheBeachBionic

    TheBeachBionic Fapstronaut

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    I'm referring to strangers.
     
  6. Jason_Tesla_19

    Jason_Tesla_19 Fapstronaut

    The guys who go around messaging and sending friend requests to random women on Facebook are generally not the highest quality men around. Those are typically players who will break your heart. If you meet via a mutual friend or a discussion in a Facebook group, that's one thing, but "cold calls" are a bit creepy.
     
  7. DoeDew

    DoeDew Fapstronaut

    Might I ask why you would want such guys to message you?
    You're not saying you think that you aren't messaged because they don't find you beautiful enough, are you?
     
  8. CTRL + DEL

    CTRL + DEL Fapstronaut

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    Right. You want strangers to message you on facebook.

    I detect low self-esteem, lack of morale and (of course) loneliness.

    Fix up those 3 issues and tell me if you're still craving attention from strangers.
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2018
    IndianStallion and kropo82 like this.
  9. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    I'm well versed in not having women message me. If they message, they message. If not, then they don't.

    A piece of advice I'm attempting to follow is to make friends, both male and female. Doing so face to face can be difficult for me, more so with women.

    A thought I'm having is to simply find things to improve about ones self. These days I'm leaning toward the understanding that a balance is needed. Improve for our selves and those around us, not just one or the other.
     
  10. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    Change.

    There's one thing I feel I can say to a person who says they don't want to change who they are. Each day we gain new experience and our bodies grow older. This is change and is something which is forever a part of us. We are no longer the person we were yesterday and we had no choice in that matter. Perhaps the simplest change a person can make is the understanding we are no longer the person we were a moment ago. It can be easy to forget that. Despite not wanting to change, we have already done so.
     
    salvacion_a_888 and Hitto like this.
  11. Gmork

    Gmork Fapstronaut

    Message you about what?
     
  12. CTRL + DEL

    CTRL + DEL Fapstronaut

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    Does it even matter? She's looking for strangers. What do you think is implicit in that meaning?
     
  13. hardowner

    hardowner Fapstronaut

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    What I did, in order to improve myself, was asking for help. I talked to one of my older cousins and her husband. My cousin, as a woman, told me things that a woman would like on me and also told me comments that other women made about me. I really had no idea. Her husband is older and used to live "thug life". He gave me style and behavior advice.
    You could do the same. Ask someone more experienced about what you could do in order to improve yourself. They can see things that you can't. They can use information they find precious, while you think they don't deserve even mentioning. There is not a magic life changing saying that we can tell you and give you a date...
     
  14. DoeDew

    DoeDew Fapstronaut

    Are you trying to help or are you just going to continue punching her in the face?

    If you "detect" those things, why don't you try to help instead of just needlessly pointing it out?
     
  15. CTRL + DEL

    CTRL + DEL Fapstronaut

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    Excuse me? I'm not a therapist and neither are you. All we can do is point out issues here. This is a forum, not a hospital.

    Does anyone here personally chain your hands to the wall when the urge to relapse hits you? I really doubt that.
     
  16. DoeDew

    DoeDew Fapstronaut

    "Pointing out issues" doesn't help anyone. Imagine you're sitting alone at a lunch table and say to yourself "damn I wish someone sat with me" and then some guy goes up to you and says "hm. I think you might be lacking self-esteem, morale and you're lonely". Would you say "yeah, I guess I do, thanks, I never noticed that."?

    Hey, I admire that you want to help, but please don't point out things that might hurt more than they help.
    "The truth hurts" is a wise phrase to keep in mind.

    There is no reason not to try helping people around here if there is any way you can.
    We're all here to make it easier for one another.
     
  17. Do the above
     
    Hitto and Deleted Account like this.
  18. CTRL + DEL

    CTRL + DEL Fapstronaut

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    This statement makes no sense whatsoever. Unless the issue comes to light, how can one be expected to resolve it? Try to maintain some semblance of logic in your rebuke.


    Terrible analogy.

    First of all, she specifically wants that someone to be a guy. There is a highlighted gender bias.
    Second of all, this isn't a social setting in the real world. She mentions facebook, of all places. I need not mention the clear difference both in intent and repercussions of both actions.

    I get that you're trying to be chivalrous here for the lady but i'd say the truth is more remedial than this poor excuse of a defense.


    What?
    I'd rather she shed tears now than have some sick guy blackmail her through feigned love one day. Sorry. I'm trying to help her long term, not being kind to the degree of absurdity.

    And how exactly are we to do that? Jump in her inbox and make nofap facebook 2.0 for her? I think not. Realisation that her very desire here is unhealthy is the solution. From then on, her recovery will begin.
     
  19. Jason_Tesla_19

    Jason_Tesla_19 Fapstronaut

    So, fix your loneliness, and then tell us if you still want attention from other people? You kinda need attention from others to not feel lonely! If someone has a small or nonexistent social circle, they'll need to turn strangers into friends.
     
  20. CTRL + DEL

    CTRL + DEL Fapstronaut

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    OR you know, get friends in real life. Add them on facebook. Write up a self-congratulatory post on the forum and receive applause from the community.

    That seems much more of a sensible interpretation.
     

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