I feel like I'm getting too old to find "the one"

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Newlife793, Jul 10, 2017.

  1. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    [​IMG]
     
    NF104534 and NF SINCE BIRTH like this.
  2. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

    1,664
    2,297
    143
    There are good women of all ages. What we need to worry about is being a good husband for them. I married a good wife when I was 27, my little brother married 6 months later at 18, and my dad remarried at 68, after Mother died. I had an aunt who married her first husband at 40; she said that she had been having too much fun to marry earlier. When he died, 20 years later, she didn't rush to get another. After she retired, she turned down a proposal from a good, respected, well off man, and told my grand mother that it was because he was a sloppy kisser. There are good women out there for any age, but we have to measure up. We have to ditch the porn habit.
     
  3. Drew140

    Drew140 Guest

    I'm very content with my life. I spent my 20s and 30s focused on my career. It was a choice I made myself. I tend to believe in your early 20s you have to decide which is your primary focus work or family. You can't do halfers or you get nowhere. By choosing career I knew the consequences of looking for love in my late 30s-early 40s. I can now devote the time and energy needed to find my future Mrs. Getting married just to get married to me is ridiculous. You have to ready for marriage emotionally, financially, etc. I also never wanted many children most likely just one like myself. Marriage and Parenthood are commitments with obligations.
     
  4. Genji

    Genji Guest

    24, never had a girlfriend, not even interested in it. Kid, there are greater problems in the world than being single. Make friends and you won't be lonely and get a good job. People around me are getting their heart broken on a weekly basis, not sure why you'd want the same thing. Also, forget the idea of "the one". Ain't no such person. I think you should focus on finding someone you can tolerate, because everyone will have flaws (try not to settle just so you are not "alone" though). Also, wait with your dating until you#re in your 30s and get a younger girl, much more effective. Girls want an older, more established guys (that also means someone who earns a lot) at least in my friend circle. Focus on career/education/friendship/gym/hobbies. Enjoy your 20s without heart break and divorces. There's plenty of time for that later.
     
  5. Newlife793

    Newlife793 Fapstronaut

    109
    120
    43
    Yeah yalls reply has made me feel better. The main issue is that EVERYONE in my family was married at like 18 to 20 years old and I feel like that's what my family expects of me, so they go on about being the "lonely bachelor" and I guess it just gets to me sometimes.
     
    Potato93 and NF SINCE BIRTH like this.
  6. I can relate. Everyone in my family got married at 18 and 20 as well. You eventually come to a point where you don't care anymore, mainly because it'll simply never do you any good. I don't agree with waiting until 30s though, that's ridiculous. However, I do strongly agree that there simply isn't "the perfect one." I think the reason I hate the "wait" mentality is because I'm a chronic procrastinator, so yeah, that just doesn't go to well with chronic procrastinators. Trust me, I've done my fair share of "waiting around." Life is too short, you must both enjoy and make the most of it.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  7. Interesting thread. I love reading trough your replies. Makes me feel hopeful. I just got myself a rather large apartment and for the first time in my life I can buy myself a large bed and a couch. I am going to throw off a party there pretty soon and I feel like having this apartment will be a pretty large bonus. I am going to study mathematics this semester and join a few social groups. I am feeling hopeful for the future for the first time in a while. My 5 month stay at the hospital is soon ending.
     
    NF104534, Matrix Intel and Headspace like this.
  8. On my way to catch up you guys!!!
     
    Matrix Intel likes this.
  9. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

    1,221
    2,016
    143
    Good to hear that! I remember you telling about your hospital stay in some posts. All the best for the future.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  10. Higherself

    Higherself Fapstronaut

    44
    131
    33
    Its a bit morbid mate.. Dont know if it helps the young fella
     
    Matrix Intel likes this.
  11. Drew140

    Drew140 Guest

    She's out there man. You are 22. It's about finding the right girl who will accept you for you. Don't rush anything just let it happen naturally. Trust the dinosaur over here.
     
  12. RiTisH

    RiTisH New Fapstronaut

    4
    43
    13
    Don't worry life changes in a matter of seconds im also 19 n i don't have any friend or girlfriend people like u r called survivor.... Be proude of u r self buz u didn't surrender ur self to someone think as marshal mathers
     
  13. Zapster21

    Zapster21 Fapstronaut

    267
    1,484
    123
    My man! I was 24 when I got my first girlfriend. But the one I got is the best ever. And i seriously thorught I could never get a girl. Keep fighting it will come :)
     
    Newlife793 likes this.
  14. Drew140

    Drew140 Guest

    Who gets married in their early 20s today? No guy should consider marriage till 28 or 30. Anybody heard of college? establishing a career?
     
    tedriley and inkmonsterandy like this.
  15. The OP didn't say anything about marriage dude, besides mentioning others getting married. He simply mentioned a girlfriend. Most people today just live together. Marriage is just a way to trap people and make money off of them.
     
  16. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    Nonsense.

    There's no reason to worry at any age.

    Look--the world is full of billions of people. There are amazing, beautiful, interesting, and single women in virtually every age group. You just have to figure out how to put yourself in places and situations where you're likely to meet them. Online is obviously an immediate temptation, but if you're doing NoFap, I highly recommend getting away from the digital world and into real life. Join a yoga class. Not only is good for you, but you'll probably be one of the only guys in there.

    And like everyone else has said--dude, you're 22. You have several years to find the right girl. I didn't get married until I was 33 (of course, I was divorced 5 1/2 years later, thanks to my sex addiction).

    The world is your oyster, man. Guys like @Drew140 and myself would kill for a chance to go back and re-do our 20s and 30s, knowing what we know today about PMO.
     
    Flamma, inkmonsterandy and Headspace like this.
  17. It is so wonderful to read this fantastic news and your positive feelings of hope about your future. You deserve it buddy. :)
     
  18. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

    1,525
    1,750
    143
  19. inkmonsterandy

    inkmonsterandy Fapstronaut

    32
    121
    33
    You and me both guy.
     
  20. inkmonsterandy

    inkmonsterandy Fapstronaut

    32
    121
    33
    Damn son I've fapped for about as long as you existed.!

    Coming from someone who's been from the other side I started looking at porn at 22, jerking it at 16. I want to let you know there is a light at the other end.

    You have time.

    I remember clearly how hopeless and unattractive I was at that age. I was hurt and had to deal with more than one bad breakup. My self esteem and confidence was next to nil. I went through counselling, wore my heart on my sleeve around everyone.

    I wanted to have a kid, married, copious amounts of sex, a secure job. I struggled keeping friends, being confident around girls after a string of bad relationships. I locked up myself in my room hiding from the outside world for YEARS. I didn't get married until I was 31. I didn't get secure in my job until I was 27. I didn't have my little guy till 35. I'm turning 40 in 3 months. Keep your chin up.

    If I could say anything to my 22 year old self I would tell him exactly what my old man said. Focus on your life. Put yourself out there. Live the life that you want to live, put in the work, and hell with everyone else. Worry about yourself. Keep lifting, work on your craft. Basically continue on as you normally would. And surprisingly enough the things you dream about WILL happen. You do you first.
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2017
    Flamma likes this.

Share This Page