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I feel like I'm getting too old to find "the one"

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Newlife793, Jul 10, 2017.

  1. inkmonsterandy

    inkmonsterandy Fapstronaut

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    OMG DUDE I TOTALLY AGREE
     
    WuTangFinancial likes this.
  2. Spiff

    Spiff Fapstronaut

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    I met my wife when we were 19 - we've stayed together since then for 18 years - although we only married 10 years ago.

    "the one" can be a tricky concept. Some people keep looking for that perfect person who probably doesn't even really exist, or, if she does, your odds of meeting her are non-existent. I think long-term relationships, marriage, are about learning to love someone for who they are, not finding the person you don't have to make any compromises for. One of the most challenging and rewarding aspects of my life has been learning to accept the good and bad of the stranger that I irreversibly intertwined my life with.

    Personally, I recommend not waiting too long if possible. I don't mean force it, but I've noticed that people tend to get a lot pickier as they age. When I met my wife - she met all my requirements - she was fun and hot. Somehow, we made it work from that. If I was looking for a mate now - I'd have a two page list of requirements and preferences.

    Good luck.
     
  3. Estus

    Estus Banned

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    That "the one" stuff is a woman thing. Even for them it's just a fantasy.
     
    Matrix Intel likes this.
  4. You're lucky bud!!
    God Bless this couple!!
     
    Spiff likes this.
  5. WuTangFinancial

    WuTangFinancial Fapstronaut

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    22 years old? Time is not running out by a long shot. Remember that you are still growing and your brain will actually keep developing for another 2 years. Even after that, you are going to change and grow if you open yourself to the world. Women should not be the end all, be all solution for a man's life. For most western societies, we are told that we must follow this very rigid path to success: Schooling, higher education, career, marriage, kids, house, etc, etc. Life has so much more to offer than just these things and your approach to success can be interpreted however you choose as long as others are not being harmed in the process.

    With that said, it may be best to reboot and develop healthy, non-romantic relationships before searching for a partner. Jumping into a relationship is never going to solve anything. You carry your demons with you everywhere you go and until you rid yourself of them, there will always be underlying darkness that cannot be dealt with. Some of your family's ideas sound antiquated and you should make your own path.

    And do not underestimate the freedom of being single, the world is a beautiful place with so many things to offer.

    Good luck brother!
     
    Newlife793 and inkmonsterandy like this.
  6. You sound concerned and worried because you need to share some fun with a girl and to experience the next stage of growth as a young man. Can you tell me if this is right?
     
  7. Quit belittling him. I could belittle you about your pathetic streak. How is "having fun with a girl" going to make him grow? Losing my virginity sure as hell didn't make me "grow," neither did love. Only you can make yourself grow, girls come after. Now go fuck yourself again.
     
  8. You just did belittle me @Matrix Intel ... Actually I was attempting to connect empathically to his feelings and needs when I wrote that post, I am hurt when you say these words to me as I was needing support and understanding. Are you angry because you have a desire to nurture people's growth and to see success in People?
     
  9. Didn't feel good did it? Well, that is the type of feeling you inflicted on not only the creator of this thread, but others as well, with that stupid, ignorant and childish comment of your's.
     
  10. Excuse me @Matrix Intel. I am asking are you angry because you were needing the contribution of respect and support for him from us other members? Can you tell me if this is right?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 21, 2017
  11. No, I'm not telling you shit this time. lol
     
  12. You sound worried and need to know that you have your space now @Matrix Intel. Yeah? Due to this little interaction of ours I am extremely hurt and angry at your words especially when you said I had a 'pathetic streak'. Very hurtful. Not trying laying guilt trip on only trying to break through your interpretation so we can connect and understand each other. My intention was to support the OP with his concerns and create a connection. Can you tell me what I said?
     
  13. I ain't worried about nothin. You were simply implying, without realizing it, that having 'experience' with girls leads to personal growth. From my personal experience, it has nothing to do with it, surprise, surprise. Neither did losing my virginity or any other encounter with a female. It all came down to the heart. You were simply misleading him without knowing it. OR DID YOU KNOW IT? dun dun dunn damn it i'm high
     
  14. Damn, I was being a dick because I wasn't high. I am really an addict.
     
  15. Sorry, the insults were uncalled for. However, I still don't agree with the thing about girls and growth. Nonetheless, my bad dude, nothing against you.
     
  16. I am suprised and curious with your last posts @Matrix Intel. Because I was wanting to resolve this and learn what was driving your emotion. Your disagreement is justified as it relates to your own life experiences does it not? Can we agree we disagree? I sense you have had some hard times and trauma from some past relationships. Is this ok I guess this? From every close interaction I have had with a woman in my life has been a learning experience. Both positive and negative ones.Some really good, and some memories still painful to this day. All in all, in my eyes, it's all information for my learning and growth I am still alive and will continue to learn and grow, as I define it. Does this make sense? Because without these life experiences then I would be the same as I was before. Hence the reason I wrote that in my original post. Now if you permit me, I would like to remind you is that this website is to support each other in one of the most difficult addictions, so please keep your posts supportive and non-abusive. Written words are power as you've discovered, and can either hold us up or knock us down. Have a good day.
    @Newlife793 your thread has been a little hi-jacked, let me know how you feel about this if you like. Supporting you champ. Keep winning.
     
    WuTangFinancial likes this.
  17. I still don't agree that women lead to growth. I have't been within a mile of a women in the past few months and have grown more than I could have imagined. Reality isn't what it seems. It was me waiting for my next high and fix that had me on edge. I don't know if you know what drug addiction is like but it sucks.
     
  18. i don't know what its like except for PMO, but a good friend of mine was a heroin addict for many years. shes still alive but i witnessed what she went through. she ended up using naltrexone and said it was the only thing that helped. its used for alcohol dependency as well. great success rates. congratulations on your successful nofap streak. 226 days proves you have strength to resist one addiction.
     
  19. Thanks. Drugs are harder in a way because they're actually enjoyable and don't have the same negative mental effects as PM, making them much more sneaky and psychologically addicting. For me, I'm one of those addicts that aren't physically addicted to a particular substance per say, but simply addicted to getting high, whether it be cannabis, alcohol, psychedelic, stimulants or what have you. Fortunately, my primary drug has been cannabis. Still though, it sucks to be dependent on any substance to have fun. Thank God it's not physically addicting though. I can proudly say I've been off cigarettes for over a month after nearly a decade of smoking. I now have a problem with getting high, whether it be cannabis, alcohol, copious amount of caffeine or whatever else. It's been that way since I was 15, 22 now. I've never touched heroin, but have played with other opiates. Will never touch them again. I'll never touch heroin, meth or real hardcore stuff like that.
     
  20. Also, my stem mom's step sister, lol, and her three boys are over here for a good month. The two younger boys, which are seven, are fun to be around. However, they can be a handful at times lol. I just got to be much more careful of what I do, if you know what I mean. The step mom's step sister can be pretty nosy too. Again, it gets in the way of my fix. To top it off, the third boy is a 15 year old, and we all know how moody people are around that age. Overall, I haven't had the space to breathe and be myself. In other words, this house has been hectic.
     

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