I feel like my brain is against me.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Dax Xenos, Nov 20, 2015.

  1. Dax Xenos

    Dax Xenos Fapstronaut

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    I'm a month in. The biggest problem I'm having is my thoughts and brain seem to be my enemy. It's telling me "You are doing so good with PMO why not treat yourself to an escort." My thoughts seem to be at battle with my spirit. Anyone else having this problem. I'm going to the gym more and kick my own ass with intense workouts, and I find this really helps. I'm just trying to figure out why my brain seems to be working actively against me.
     
    Burke 1982 likes this.
  2. maybe, its just going by your past activities, your old habits, not that you have ever had an escort. just watch those thoughts, don't be angry with them, see if they go away just by looking at them.
     
    SnowWhite likes this.
  3. BlueNotes

    BlueNotes Fapstronaut

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    Be careful, escorts can be far more addicting and detrimental to you than porn. Do you really want to pay for sex? Really think about that. As a human being, the only reason she wants ANYTHING to do with you is money. That's pathetic.
     
    SnowWhite likes this.
  4. yzeew

    yzeew Fapstronaut

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  5. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Yes of course, this is the problem of all addicts.
    In fact, you have a drug ("escort"), which will give you a quick high dose of dopamine.
    You have old pattern stored in your mind, which will give you that rush, and your brain tries with tricks to lead you there.

    Recommendation: Make peace with yourself. Don't see your brain as an "enemy". In fact, it is a part of yourself, so how can you be at war with yourself?

    The real way out is to develop new healthy behaviour patterns. Focus on doing things which are deeply fulfilling you. Once you manage to do such things, then you will feel "centered", and you will experience real deep joy and content. And when you get into this balanced feeling, then you lose the interest in quick sex encounters.
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2015
  6. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    I totally agree! You say it: "don't be angry with them". That is great wisdom. These thoughts are a part of us. So we should be at peace with ourselves, not be angry.

    When such thoughts appear, then it tremendously helps to just relax and let the thoughts wander. Like clouds on the sky. It takes just a few minutes until the sky clears up, and the thoughts are gone.

    In fact, these thoughts come up when you are not balanced. Once you get back in balance, they also leave you. They are like images projected on your apartment wall. The pictures try to scare you or to lead you away from your path, but in fact, they can do nothing at all to you. They are only images.
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2015
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. Dax Xenos

    Dax Xenos Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the advice! I'm finding that this forum is helping me a great deal!
     
  8. Bearommesa

    Bearommesa Fapstronaut

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    In Buddhist teachings, they practice mindfulness. Specifically, when a feeling arises, whether it may be hostility, sensual desire, joy, sadness, or others, notice the arising of the desire. Notice the emotion for what it is, and remind yourself you are not that. It is simply something your brain is feeling. Feel the cessation of that emotion. Try to notice what caused or is causing it. When it goes, try to notice why.

    As well, though this is more tricky, when you think you should have felt an emotion but didn't, notice that too. For instance, if you're standing in a line and you are usually impatient (a feeling of hostility), but for some reason (perhaps due to some AWESOME NOFAP) you don't feel impatient, notice that!

    Best of luck, and as someone previously said, you can't be at war with yourself.
     
    yzeew likes this.
  9. im_alive

    im_alive Fapstronaut

    I thinks it's just part of the rewiring. I've been there too, and have given in before. But now I realise it's just part of the process. Keep up the fight dude!
     
    Dax Xenos likes this.
  10. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Indeed, that's a very good advice. I can tell from my own experience.
    All emotions, actions and thoughts start up with tiny seeds, and you can decide which one you let grow and which one you prefer to let go.

    Develop a sensibility for the first little emotions and learn to listen to them. And learn to relax and see how they go away like they came. If you practise this regularily, then you become more content and relaxed and even more, you gain real control over yourself.
    Over time, you become better and better in doing the things you want, and to stop doing what you do not want.

    However ...

    .... I do not really agree with this. IMHO, you cannot say "you are not that", because it is a pattern which is obviously stored in your brain, so it is a part of yourself, it is a part of your personality. However, you can say "I decide to give this emotion no further power. I will not let it grow. Rather, I decide to spend my time now on my examen/project/family/friends/sports etc.".
     
  11. Dax Xenos

    Dax Xenos Fapstronaut

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    This forum is priceless with help & support. I went to a funeral of relative this week and the old me would have binged on porn to suppress the feelings of loss and uncertainty about the future. Now I experience the emotion, and even though it sucks, I feel much better in dealing with it rather than bottling it up.
     
  12. rkzoro

    rkzoro Fapstronaut

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    Yeah man . its like some other person arguing with me . it burns when there is difference of opinion between me and my brain . it always insists its opinions.
     
  13. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, but what is "me" and what is "my brain" ? Isn't it the same ? ;)
    It helps when you accept your behaviour as a part of your. Once you make peace, it leaps you a bit step forward.
     
  14. spiritual warrior

    spiritual warrior Fapstronaut

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    The brain does what it does without prejudice. Similar to a car, the brain can't make decisions without the driver. It is a complex machine that needs tuning to operate a peak levels.
     
  15. rkzoro

    rkzoro Fapstronaut

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    Any suggestions for improving focus and less thinking . help me
     
  16. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Yes, that's a good comparison. Our "engine" is our blind will to live. It's the core of every animal and plant. This will just wants to live and procreate, therefore it wants air, food and sex. Now we humans have in addition our intellect. With this, we can steer our will and do many fancy things. But in fact, the will is very strong and the intellect is very weak in comparison.

    It's prety much like steering a powerful racing car or like taming and riding a horse. It takes a lot of training and learning until we get it right.
     
  17. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    The "thinking" is in fact doubts and fears which hold us back.
    We tend to think too much instead of simply doing and completing a work.

    My best suggestion is to start working RIGHT NOW. Log out of nofap and start with some work which you postponed a while. Some work, or learning for an exam, or practising piano, etc.
    Don't hesitate, don't think around. Just do it. Right now. No excuses. And then, in 2 hours, come back here.
     

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