I figured out a problem I have.

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by RobinCoenBrosFan, Apr 17, 2019.

  1. RobinCoenBrosFan

    RobinCoenBrosFan Fapstronaut

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    Making phone calls that may potentially lead to the next step in my life, whether it be new place, new career, signing something, school, etc, scares the ever-loving fuck out of me. Not so much things like ordering a pizza or an Uber, or customer service. It’s the phone calls that have to do with where I’m going tomorrow. It scares me so much that I avoid it completely by hiding behind other things like YouTube videos and articles, and it often ends up being a missed opportunity. And I have generalized anxiety disorder to boot, so that doesn’t help it any.

    Is this part of human nature? Is everyone scared of this? Or is it something I should consider seeking treatment for?

    Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!
     
  2. It's a very common thing. I used to hate it too, but the more I force myself to do it, the easier it becomes. I have an anxiety disorder as well, and I don't think the feeling of anxiety will ever fully go away. But you can learn to ignore it and deal with it better.
     
    CH3RRY likes this.
  3. jarvyjarvison

    jarvyjarvison Fapstronaut

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    I don't think scared is the right word but I think everyone has a certain level of nervousness about taking big steps. One thing I've learned in life is that if you try to wait until you're 100% ready, you'll never act at all. You've gotta be willing to take a little risk and suffer a little discomfort in life.

    It also sounds like you're lacking a sense of direction. Am I right? You don't want to act because you don't want to make the wrong move but you don't know what the right move is because you're lacking purpose in your life. My advice to you is to try to take some time to think what you wanna do and what kinda person you want to be. Then you'll have a little more sense of direction in life.
     
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  4. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    My PC broke down and I could try to repair it but I do not do it. I am afraid to know that there is nothing to do about it so I cling to a hope that it could be repaired even when I will never atempt to. Is it something similar to what you feel?
     
  5. RobinCoenBrosFan

    RobinCoenBrosFan Fapstronaut

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    @Infrasapiens something like that, except that I KNOW in my heartest of hearts that I have to do these things, and I often rise to the challenge, but other times when important things like these rise up, I just end up burying myself in less important shit and end up not doing it beCause the fear is so strong.
     
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  6. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

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    You mean that in not repairing it, it is like one big successful P blocker?
     
  7. CH3RRY

    CH3RRY Fapstronaut

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    This is the cause of unhappiness, at least a big factor of it. We all have the power to achieve the things we desire and we know they will make us happy, but we don't take the steps that lead there. When you remain passive and avoid the necessary obstacles, your life stalls and you can't move forward. This is what mediocrity is. When you go through the challenges, you are making progress and snowballing towards your goals by gaining motivation and confidence. Every time you do something that makes you anxious or afraid, you are in a way winning your self and becoming better. Greatness will follow when you face your fears. Facing your fears also makes you free from them. Next time when you feel uncomfortable or afraid of something, do it for the sake of yourself.
     
  8. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    I suppose but I am not an addict, and even if I were I wouldn't watch it on a PC, I would use a phone. And there is not even an internet connection to look for things where I live. Maybe all of NoFap should move to where I live.
     
  9. jarvyjarvison

    jarvyjarvison Fapstronaut

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    Edit: I see you were talking to OP now but this advice still applies.

    No. My pc is broken too (I built mine). I can’t say I’m afraid to repair it. I just procrastinate because I don’t want to do the work. But I can certainly understand the desire to avoid something unpleasant and cling to hope that it will be okay. It’s called “burying your head in the sand” and I do it all the time. For instance, my car’s brake pads needed to be replaced. The technician told me if I didn’t get them replaced before they start making sounds then the rotors would warp. Loe and behold, now they’re squeaking and I’m afraid to go to the repair shop because I don’t want to face the music and pay out the nose for new rotors. So, yeah, I can relate to what you’re saying.

    Something that helps with this is to think about the consequences of not acting. You miss out on valuable time on your PC and I might make my brakes even worse and even get in an accident. At a certain point you gotta do the rational thing, stop letting your emotions govern you, get your head out of the sand, and face the the music. It sounds tough but it’s easier than you think.

    Another thing you can do is break down your tasks into smaller, less intimidating chunks. For instance, you can set a goal of just opening the PC. Then when you feel up to it you can set a goal of checking that the memory is properly seated in the motherboard. And so on. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2019
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  10. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

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    Yes, a simpler time and place.
     
  11. QuietKarma

    QuietKarma Fapstronaut

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    I think you should consider treatment. It's something that gets easier once you get started the the anxiety goes away. But it sounds like you don't have the ability to even get started and you mention that it's affecting your life - you should certainly consider treatment.
     
  12. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    Great advice, have one of my rare likes.
     
    jarvyjarvison likes this.
  13. i can relate. changing my diet to paleo (with lots of vegetables and some yogurt) helped alot with this kind of anxiety (and also staying away from pmo and other high intensity pleasures like tv, movies, social media etc. helped alot too).
     

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