I finally got it off my chest

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by CThatch94, May 7, 2019.

  1. CThatch94

    CThatch94 Fapstronaut

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    Today 5/6/2019

    I talked to my Juijitsu coach about my PMO addiction and how it been consuming my life for almost 10 years. We sat there and talked about life for 1 hour 30 minutes. I then also today told my taekwondo master and we talked about life for about 1 hour 15 minutes.

    I learned so much stuff. Not only about my self but them as well. I don't want to fail them as there student.

    I made a commitment to both of them that everyday I will be doing something to improve myself. Whether it is training or just getting out of the house and doing something. I need martial arts back in my life and I needed someone to help me with this addiction holding me back in life.

    With working nights it's going to be tough. I expect failure but I am going to do my best every day not to fail. Every time I am on the computer I am going to tell myself I am not going to fail.

    I am so happy today after I talked with both of my teachers. I feel at peace myself and I feel like I am going to finally become that better person I wanted to be.
     
  2. Danton_7

    Danton_7 Fapstronaut

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    Best of luck bro!
     
    CThatch94 likes this.
  3. CThatch94

    CThatch94 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks I am going to need it haha.
     
  4. I think finding an avenue to express our feelings to others can really help, especially to understanding and supportive ones like your teachers. It allows a new perspective. You can take this burden out of your own mind for awhile, and look at it, and see that dealing with it is maybe not as intimidating as you thought, that in fact it is a problem which is approachable.

    Of course that's not to say that any such challenge is easy - it will likely involve setbacks, frustrations, and painful lessons along the way - but the personal growth, improvements to your quality of life, and the wisdom you gain make it all worth the effort. You can do it, just keep at it and do your best buddy.
     
    CThatch94 likes this.
  5. PJT

    PJT Fapstronaut

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    Hey brother look man I am happy for you. It's a good thing to let some one else in to describe what's eating you and taking over your spirit. My Hope is you do right by your sensais and most importantly yourself. And you will! Thank you for sharing we can all only hope you serve as a good example for the rest of us to find someone to confide in. We are social beings after all our burdens are meant to be used as tools our burdens when conveyed can turn fools into wise people .

    I myself recently was able to come clean to my psycologist I told her I was an addict and I didn't cry I just said it and told her that I needed a community and maybe can muster the course to go to aa one day again. I write my thoughts down and seek forgiveness and strength and wisdom from the Lord above (how I cope...not trying to push you in any way) every day now. In any case I wish you well and thank you for sharing.
     
    SirErnest and CThatch94 like this.
  6. CThatch94

    CThatch94 Fapstronaut

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    the past 2 weeks I have been using Jiu jitsu to figure out some things in my life and to fight my inner demons. I also noticed I have spent a lot less time on the computer during the week.
     
  7. Cuauhtli

    Cuauhtli Fapstronaut

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    For me it has been great to talk with my AP and others in here about these struggles. Makes you feel that out are not the only one struggling with this and helps you to be accountable to others. Keep it up pal!
     
  8. This is rare, feels liberating and I am happy for you.

    Just remember that you share to help yourself and in many cases its not important what others say in response, and it does feel like weight lifted. Best of luck
     
  9. Hats off to you. It takes a lot of courage to open up about this. I've personally never opened up to anyone in person. I could only imagine the freedom you feel right now.
     
  10. CThatch94

    CThatch94 Fapstronaut

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    I am not going to lie it's hard to do. I almost walked out before my Jiu jitsu coach came in for that day. I didn't really cry that much telling him, it was more like a shake down for me. I couldn't stop shivering the whole conversation I had with him. It's still hard for me to stop though. I failed again this morning before going to bed. So it doesn't just magically make you stop. I feel like S*** every time I do it now because I know I have 2 people I am failing every time I do it.

    I will say though ever since I told my BJJ coach about it I have been doing the 6 AM class every single day after work and have been on the computer a lot less. I do feel like I am more active than I ever was. I am using BJJ as a way to fight through my struggles the past 2 weeks and it seems to be helping a lot. The weekends (now) is going to be the struggle for me since there is no classes and I never have done anything on the weekends expect waste my life away on the computer. Today I am just cleaning my room and going to finish reading a book I started a few months ago.

    The advice I can give is tell someone close to you that you can trust to help you like I did with my BJJ and TKD coach. It is so easy to lie to a specialist or a pastor about your progress. I lied to myself for months with the Chaplin I have been talking to and I feel bad about it.
     

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