I forget how it feels...

It feels devastating, horrible, crushing. Right after a relapse. You think about all the things you could be doing... the meaningful life you could be living... but you are so far away from it. That's where I find myself minutes or even seconds after the high ends.

And yet I keep coming back to it. Because I forget how it feels. Because my mind keeps tricking me into thinking it won't be that way, and that it'll just be a harmless session of fun.

So I'm telling myself right now.

It WILL be that way. And it will be worse than you think.
There is NO happiness in it. No relief. No gain.
You will wake up tired the next morning, and wish you didn't do it.
In fact, you'll start wishing you didn't do it, right after you do it.

But there is a lot more you could be doing. Right now. Instead of PMO.

Take a walk
Read a book
Listen to music
Play some games
Watch videos (which are more interesting than porn)
Learn something new
Spend time with God
Do something creative (drawing, writing)
Try something new
Take a nap (if you're too tired to do anything)
Anything you can think of
Exercise
EXERCISE. Vent out all that energy.

Of course, there's a way longer list of things you can do. And they're all more worthwhile than PMO (other than feeding another unhealthy addiction). PMO is the LEAST worthwhile thing you can do.

So, anytime my brain tells me it would be a good idea to PMO, I can take a walk, zoom out of my tunnel vision, clear my mind of porn, and read this.

Then go do something better.