I've started pmo 8 days now. And I've urgent gay thoughts, of having sex with a man. I've thoughts of sucking and riding a dick. I hate these urges which i didn't notice their intensity before. I used to watch straight and gay porn. I hope that I didn't get a way of being a gay, from which it's impossible to return back :/ I hate being gay but I've passive gay arousal thoughts. Fantasies of being submitted, and sexually forced. These are remaining thoughts from porn videos i think, but it seems they are now in my unconscious mind, and I fear of not being able to get rid of them.