I hate being gay

D

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I've started pmo 8 days now.
And I've urgent gay thoughts, of having sex with a man. I've thoughts of sucking and riding a dick. I hate these urges which i didn't notice their intensity before. I used to watch straight and gay porn. I hope that I didn't get a way of being a gay, from which it's impossible to return back :/
I hate being gay but I've passive gay arousal thoughts. Fantasies of being submitted, and sexually forced. These are remaining thoughts from porn videos i think, but it seems they are now in my unconscious mind, and I fear of not being able to get rid of them.
 
Yes... to much porn probablly...
Probablly you have your subconscious full with this stuff for watching so many porn and your brain is conditioning.
Probablly you need a good reboot and a good time to you stabilize.
Just relax and try to free yourself from this stuff for a few time.
 
Casey_Kay said:
I've started pmo 8 days now.
And I've urgent gay thoughts, of having sex with a man. I've thoughts of sucking and riding a dick. I hate these urges which i didn't notice their intensity before. I used to watch straight and gay porn. I hope that I didn't get a way of being a gay, from which it's impossible to return back :/
I hate being gay but I've passive gay arousal thoughts. Fantasies of being submitted, and sexually forced. These are remaining thoughts from porn videos i think, but it seems they are now in my unconscious mind, and I fear of not being able to get rid of them.
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You have already had this answered...
Mordobarn said:
Your attraction to gay porn is a consequence of your addiction. Do a 90-day hard reboot, and you should find that those obsessions fall away, if not entirely, then at least mostly. The longer you take on a reboot, the better it gets. Stay at it long enough, and those urges will be completely gone, and you'll wonder how you ever felt that way!
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IGY said:
You have already had this answered...

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Yeah i know that you answered my question, but yesterday i didn't arrive to sleep from these intrusive thoughts. I directly what I was thinking about at this time. It's really hard to bear such fantasies in your head
 
Kiz Whalifa said:
Question yourself, are you truly gay, or do those fantasies exist just for a jolt of dopamine? Do you clearly identify with those thoughts? Or are those thoughts just thoughts? If not, stop identifying with them, and focus on rewriting your subconscious.
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I know that my thoughts have been altered since my childhood. I didn't have such fantasies before. It began with watching straight porn, which wasn't enough for me to be aroused. I searched for more sexual arousal by watching gay porn where arousal comes from the idea of a man who is fucking or submitting another man (who's not supposed to be like that). The acceptance of being submitted as a man is really arousing and enjoyable
 
White_umbrella said:
Yes... to much porn probablly...
Probablly you have your subconscious full with this stuff for watching so many porn and your brain is conditioning.
Probablly you need a good reboot and a good time to you stabilize.
Just relax and try to free yourself from this stuff for a few time.
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Effectively, I think :) thanks for your help
 
Casey_Kay said:
… i didn't arrive to sleep from these intrusive thoughts.
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Nighttime is always the worst, whether it's a cold or an anxiety.
Can you find something to take your mind off it for a while? Something that (sometimes) works for me is to get comfortable in bed, and then concentrate on counting down from 100, once for each time I breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out, 100. Breathe in, breathe out, 99. Breathe in, breathe out, 98. Breathe in, breathe out, 97. And so on. Sometimes, I'll fall asleep before I reach 60! It's worth trying.
 
At first i wrote something to make you calmer but as i've read it is not ok to provide suche information to person suffering from intrusive thoughts.

So i will just say that i never progressed to homosexual porn but was very interested in transexuals, femdom and little bit of sissy. Now im doing my third week of no PMO and i feel like my fantasies are being nicer to me and they become milder in content. It goes like this:
homosexual fantasies->very dominant woman->caring but still dominant woman->very romantic and accepting intercourse with a girl.

Give it 90 days. Then check what you truly want.
 
This is a phase everyone's mind goes through. sometimes early stages of their life and sometimes later. You'll get over this. They are just feelings. dont stress out because of it.
 
Casey_Kay said:
I've started pmo 8 days now.
And I've urgent gay thoughts, of having sex with a man. I've thoughts of sucking and riding a dick. I hate these urges which i didn't notice their intensity before. I used to watch straight and gay porn. I hope that I didn't get a way of being a gay, from which it's impossible to return back :/
I hate being gay but I've passive gay arousal thoughts. Fantasies of being submitted, and sexually forced. These are remaining thoughts from porn videos i think, but it seems they are now in my unconscious mind, and I fear of not being able to get rid of them.
Click to expand...

Can you explain to me what is wrong with having gay thoughts, gay arousal, or fantasies of submission?
 
arken3 said:
Can you explain to me what is wrong with having gay thoughts, gay arousal, or fantasies of submission?
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If you're gay, there's nothing at all wrong with these — except the submission, but only if it's a result of a fetish rather than your natural nature.

But if you have those thoughts when you're straight, and you have them as a fetish through porn addiction, it is confusing, unpleasant, worrying.

It would be interesting to know if any gay people end up with a straight fetish through porn addiction?
 
Mordobarn said:
It would be interesting to know if any gay people end up with a straight fetish through porn addiction?
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Me me me! I confess. I was hooked on straight porn and even visited a female prostitute. But I never freaked out about it or worried. What I am worried about is me being an addict.
 
Samadhi Pañña said:
Me me me! I confess. I was hooked on straight porn and even visited a female prostitute. But I never freaked out about it or worried. What I am worried about is me being an addict.
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Thanks for letting me know! How did your visit to the female prostitute make you feel?

Your attitude is a good one. I see that you're halfway through a 90-day reboot. How is the reboot so far affecting you? Are you starting to find that your straight fetish is diminishing yet?
 
Mordobarn said:
Thanks for letting me know! How did your visit to the female prostitute make you feel?

Your attitude is a good one. I see that you're halfway through a 90-day reboot. How is the reboot so far affecting you? Are you starting to find that your straight fetish is diminishing yet?
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Hm ... how did the visit to fem prost make me feel? I could feed the hungry ghost. It was a kick. Unusual. An adventure. Unfamiliar territory. Which is seldom after decades of acting out. All in all: good and empty. The same.

My straight fetish diminishing? Never saw it really as a straight fetish I think. Watched two or more people screwing. Heroin or cocaine? Fem or male? Hard to say for an addict.
The title of the thread shows what it means to be socially drilled. It should say: I hate being an addict. IMO.
 
Samadhi Pañña said:
The title of the thread shows what it means to be socially drilled.
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So true! Social acceptance of homosexuality plummeted after Roman times thanks to hard-line Christianity and Islam. Homosexuality used to be considered normal in Roman and Ancient Greek times, and probably always before then, too. Thankfully, it's again becoming accepted, at least in the so-called free world.
 
Mordobarn said:
So true! Social acceptance of homosexuality plummeted after Roman times thanks to hard-line Christianity and Islam. Homosexuality used to be considered normal in Roman and Ancient Greek times, and probably always before then, too. Thankfully, it's again becoming accepted, at least in the so-called free world.
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It's not a question of acceptance!
it's about attraction. How could a guy be gay if he's only attracted sexually to man's sex!
Guys, I didn't have any of these shitty homosexual thoughts in my childhood. Porn sites are kind of mind washers. After watching porn, if I was not satisfied and well aroused by the straight porn, I'd have another more exciting option: the gay porn. A child'll not arrive to stop this kind of arousing things because he finds them funny.
We, users of this blog, are adult though we're not able to stop those weird sexual thoughts.
In my opinion, porn sites are criminals towards us. World must be in front of them to stop their crimes, yes crimes towards the humanity. It's worse system changing our mind set to its mind control!
 
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