I hate being gay

Not really like in islam it was okay to be the active one, the passive one was still considered a degrading thing to do for a man. Look up the word "rhaphanidosis" it was a punishment for adultery, promiscuity and homosexuality in the ancient greek times, the roman also had the same punishent also although in case of adultery the man could take the other man from behind himself instead of using a vegetable in public.
Although it was okay to be the top but taking the woman's role was still considered degrading, don't believe movies to much.
Sure it was sort of accepted but it in real life it was very class restricted, artists and the rich could indulge more then the common folk.

Back to the original poster, I fully understand those urges, really try to get those 90 days at least, it really sounds that you are stuck with this gay fantasy, and even after those 90 days thoughts might pop up now and again, just try to accept what they are remnants of watching to much porn. It's there but you don't need to act on them, if you like straight porn you might revert completely back if not you might just be bi, no problem with that. Most bi's have a loving fulfulling lives with the person they love, meaning you have all the options of a woman or man.
The hard part is really those 90 days. Keep yourself very busy the more the better so you will be tired or won't have time to think

 

Never happened to me. So no, not everyone.

 

I'm not convinced about that. At some point the Roman was decadent, they had orgy and stuff, it was really immoral, so homosexuality was part of that immorality. In most civilization homosexuality isn't accepted, I don't think religion is the only culprit here.
I think the only reason it's that much accepted in western countries is because of the medias (tv show, movies). You see homosexuals everywhere (at least one per movie and they have to talk about their sexuality and kiss someone else), so when you grow up watching this, you will be more likely to accept it.
Also the massive hate you get when you don't agree with it.

 

I get what you're trying to say... but read this sentence and realize how contradictory it is.
Let's say you didn't want to date a man, or had no emotional connection with him. But enjoyed the sex.
That's not wrong in my book (I'd say it's bisexual)....

...But you think you've been brainwashed by P. Ok, possibly, as we know that P brainwashes us with dopamine and incorrect portrayal of sex. Then in real sex, we don't enjoy it well.

So, your test will be to avoid P for some time, and ask yourself honestly how you feel towards men. If truly goes away, and you can't figure out how to sexually like men, then I suppose you were just brainwashed. But if it doesn't go away, don't beat yourself up and consider that you may be bisexual.

 

I’ve suffered with intrusive gay sex thoughts for years, i was so turned on by it i thought that i must be bi and wanted to act out in real life, came very close to doing so many times but as soon as i would O (by myself from the fantasy) the feeling would go away and I’d be left with feelings of disgust, self loathing and anxiety and the gay arousal would disappear until next time.

skip many years later after plenty of repeated melt downs over this, and one realises it really is just a dopamine train your brain takes you down willing or not.

don’t get me wrong if you relate to being gay on a deeper and more meaningful level and feel comfortable that that is who you are then embrace yourself fully, but if it is unwanted, fleeting and distressing then chances are it’s a problem you need to address via NoFap.

im 10 days free of staying away from all and any erotic and arousing content and i can say that all those feelings are much less intense already

 

I think that you misunderstood me. I was talking about society accepting people who are homosexual, instead of vilifying them as if gay people did something wrong. I do realise that you yourself are not gay, and I understand how you got to have those thoughts. I agree with you that porn is a huge problem.

 

This is correct. Porn is a superstimulus, which results in you always needing more than before. The thrill of something else, even when it's something that you hate, ends up turning you on. That's how people develop fetishes: bondage, enforced chastity, gay porn (if straight) or straight porn (if gay), underage porn, violent porn, and so on.