Ever since the day i have become a sexual being, my life has been gradually getting destroyed. I just hate myself so much for what i did because of this lust, and by what i did i don't just mean PMOing everyday like a pathetic loser, but the escalations that happened because of it. All the time i have wasted, the sins i have committed, the pain i have suffered, the sexual frustration i have had to endure and relieve with wrong means, living like a zombie everyday for nearly a decade, i'm just tired of it, and i'll never forgive myself because of it. I just miss being an innocent, pure child again. I truly hate everything that's sexual now. If it hadn't been for that shit, i'd not have turned into such a monster with a pathetic excuse of a life. I know that i'm weak and i also have myself to blame for it, but the main reason was that disgusting instinct that i don't even want and i can't get rid of. Another part of my hate for that lust is how it has been responsible for the degeneration of humanity from the beginning of the history and horrible stuff like rape, pedophilia, bestiality, cuckoldry, pornography, etc. The pain and suffering caused by it is immense. It just degrades man easily into an animal with chains that no one has any hope of breaking. Sorry if my post sounded disturbing or inappropriate in someway, but i just really wanted to vent and get this off my chest.