I hate myself

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Pluto, Feb 28, 2016.

  1. Pluto

    Pluto Fapstronaut

    I am f*cking undisciplined, e.g. my GPA went from 3.6 to 2.5 this year.

    I am depressed as f*ck, only when it gets night, I get "manic".

    Don't know what interests me, don't know what I want to become (therefore, I have no goals in life).

    I just PMO and play games all the time.

    I can't hold 3 days without PMO.

    I am the born loser

    I need help, but which one?

    (PS.: That shouldn't be a poem or something, this is real)
  2. Christin John

    Christin John Fapstronaut

    Dont hate yourself brother. Its the most important of all that you dont hate and drop yourself. Dont get depressed with this. You just have to start again .Rome was not built in a day. Have hope and faith that you can stop this from happening again. Have belief in yourself my friend .Even I have failed numerous times. When i fail i find out why i failed and find out for this to not happen again. Always remember that " failures are stepping stone to success". No one has achieved success without failure. When you fail find out why you failed and what was the cause behind it and when you do , find a specific strategy to overcome it. And franly even i really dont know what to become. I just have an idea thats all. I believe that when time comes i will come to know about it. so dont worry your not the only one. HAVE HOPE my friend.
  3. Pluto

    Pluto Fapstronaut

    I've been trying NoFap for 2 years now, the best I've done were 15 days. I kinda lose motivation...

    Honestly, I am more depressed by the fact of not being disciplined than by my PMO addiction. I mean, c'mon, last year I had a GPA of 3.6, now 2.5. Just because I didn't have the discipline to learn. I have literally no goals, I only want to play games and PMO. A life of a loser man. I don't know where to start, I don't know how to start. I suck at life.
  4. Selfdiscovery

    Selfdiscovery Fapstronaut

    @Pluto :

    Please don't hate yourself.if one hates oneself then what one"ll do.just hate PORN,quit PMOing,you'll start living yourself.it really works!
    Good luck!
  5. Pluto

    Pluto Fapstronaut

    No one understands me :(

    Can't you all realize how depressing it is to fall from a GPA of 3.6 to a GPA of 2.5 within a half year? I just want discipline, this is what's missing. Oh, and a life goal. The problem is I don't know how to start (despite giving up PMO).
  6. Christin John

    Christin John Fapstronaut

    Brother hear me. Even i had worst marks than that. I have even failed for numerous subject. I hated myself and my life, even i hated others and was angry about it. I was really depressed about my life and I even thought of why I should live in this world. But then I realized why I was so sad and depressed. I understood that happiness is a choice. Me or my life wasn't the problem it was my mindset that had to be changed. If i am failing its because me not studying or working hard. But that do not mean i am loser in life. What it means is that I have to try better. Not to give up and not curse about the life i have. but to do better next time.Like i said success comes with failures. But when you fail stand up to it and try even better next time. "Fall 7 times. Stand up 8"
    Also Friend try meditation it has really helped me in my life. keeps me happy and less stressed and less depressed
  7. scote73

    scote73 Fapstronaut

    Hey Pluto, I can empathize.

    I graduated college with a 2.6, after hovering around 3.5 in high school. It was distressing for me to see my GPA get so low, but I couldn't find any motivation to stay disciplined with my studies, either. I know how that feels :(

    However, as the years have gone by, I have detached this number from my personal self-worth. I am not what my GPA says I am. I've acquired much more knowledge and wisdom outside the classroom than I ever did inside of it.

    But, I can understand if you badly want to improve your GPA. Like you say, it takes discipline. However, as I'm sure you know, it's not going to fall out of the sky and land on you. Then where does it come from?

    If your depressed, it's not easy to suddenly find motivation or discipline. Therefore, it's important for you to find support in your life. Find someone, anyone, to talk to when you need support. Maybe therapy could be an option if all else fails. Hell, throw me a PM if you wish ;).

    As for your life goal, again as I'm sure you know, we can't give you a life goal here. It might take a little time, but you have to search deep inside yourself and figure out what you're most passionate about in life. That's usually a good starting path to figuring out where to go next.
  8. Pluto

    Pluto Fapstronaut

    I thought about this, I think I give it a try

    Been doing this for the last 2 years, no results.

    Yes but it is really depressing for me because I know that I could do it better
  9. Pluto

    Pluto Fapstronaut

    Oh that's important: I have headaches every day! Since two years
  10. Christin John

    Christin John Fapstronaut

    Like i said do meditation . It can help with physical problems too.
    Jason Bradford Smaha 2 and Pluto like this.
  11. ChiHov

    ChiHov Fapstronaut

    Pluto, this is what I'm hearing from you:
    You're upset that your grades plummeted and all you seem to want to do is PMO and play video games. You feel that if you had more discipline your problems would be solved. You've been trying to quit PMO for two years but lose motivation.

    It sounds like the best way to learn discipline is to learn to not use PMO. Since PMO is hijacking your pleasure system to sexual stimulation, it is addictive and addictions play out in all sorts of fashions throughout life: lack of motivation, declining well being, and negative self-worth to name a few. It sounds like you're trying to avoid the honest truth of the matter: you have got to quit PMO and quit it for good. It's already bringing you down, it's never to late to start fixing things but only you can make the change.
    Pluto likes this.
  12. Do you mean by depressive that you are actually depressive? If yes, visit a doctor, therapy works for a lot of people.
    You are not a loser, you don't need to get down on yourself. Sometimes, life is tough and not everything is under your control. Don't measure yourself by your GPA.
    Acceptance is the first step, as hard as it is. You still have your life ahead of you.
  13. Pluto

    Pluto Fapstronaut

    No, I was once depressed for real. It's more like desperation/life crisis

    I won't accept it (GPA), because I know, that I could do it better.
  14. vulture175

    vulture175 Fapstronaut

    I used to be considered a good student, a hardworking, self-discipline student by people around me: my friends were jealous of me, my parents, my friends were proud of me. And at that time, I thought I was good too.

    Life was funny enough to give me so much fun. GPA was dropping out like Bungee jump with a year. Failed 4 colleges. Cognitive function failed. Depression. Anxiety. social active to antisocial passive. Intelligence turning to nothingness. Being alive to being dead.

    But I was still lucky enough to survive. There was a guy in my school commit suicide after receiving a bad result or he felt like he was a loser. That was really sad.

    I won't tell you that you need to accept that you're not enough. I just hope you know what's happening to you instead of hating myself. Hating yourself will create an illusion of thoughts. Like right now, I can see you said to yourself “I'm a fucking lazy ass, my self-discipline sucks” and you thought “if I didn't have those things, I would be sure to do good in school”. Do you see it now? You're trying to deny your problems “If I didn't have those things, but you have. You need to accept your problems before trying to solve it and first thing to do is that you should stop hating yourself. Maybe you can't forgive yourself now but please don't hate him.

    Be careful to fall into the vicious cycle. People who are always successful tend to be more shock than others when they get a big failure. Falling down from 3.6 to 2.5 in a half year for example. You feel shock because you used to be good. Accept it as the way it is my friend.

    Here is the solution PROCESS:

    Brainstorm: write down all your problems as many as possible, as detailed as possible

    Set some goals BASED ON YOUR PROBLEMS: please keep in mind that everything takes time. Your goals should be small as much as possible. Why your goals must be based on your problems? For example, if I am a PMO addict suffer from depression and anxiety, it is nearly impossible for me to set a goal like getting GPA 3.6 or being in top 5 in my class. Instead, I would set a goal like finish 1/2 essay today, just a small step.

    It's better to avoid setting a goal too far or too big. ok. now look at the mirror and say "i'm sorry" to that person :D. Calm down man.
    genericname4403 likes this.
  15. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

    I hope that you don't hate everything about yourself, because I certainly did. To be honest, I was in the same boat as you, but a little differently. I was a high school dropout, had depression, lived with my parents, had no job, and fapped all fucking day. Clearly, I was a bigger loser than you. But what changed you asked? Sometimes you need to be at your lowest to finally wake the hell up. It took a lot of years to get myself out of this hole, such as the one you're in, but trust me, if you hang in there, something good might happen.

    I'm a completely different person than I was back then, and the funny thing is, I'm still not satisfied. Also, one more thing, you being born as a loser is un-provable. If someone was born a winner, it means that they were always a winner, will forever be a winner, will succeed in every damn thing in their life, will always be happy, and die a winner. Is there anyone on this planet who has lived like that? No. So a loser is similar. We all lose and all win at some point. I was certainly not a loser, although I thought I was.

    You just have to discover yourself a little deeper. Maybe something will come up (maybe hope). As of now, all of this will not last forever, you can trust me on that. In 5-10 years from now, you might look back say, "Was that really me?" Anyways, don't give up man. Stay strong, and hopefully things will get better. It certainly did for me, and it might be the same for you.
    Son_of_Iroquois likes this.
  16. sih

    sih Fapstronaut

  17. Happycamper12076

    Happycamper12076 Fapstronaut

    I’m in the EXACT same situation. We even have the same highest streak. 15 days. Words of wisdom? Have you achieved 90 days?
  18. PappinAce

    PappinAce Fapstronaut

    What do you study? You say you get 'manic' at nights which I assume means an unhinged outpouring of confidence and exuberance. So there must be some thing or things that you do well and get enthusiastic about.

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