I hate P so much.

Hi, my name is Zielnik, im 20 y.o. and im chronic P user since 2007 (9 years). I'm new at this page. But i'm not new at fighting P. Im struggling with this for almost a year now. Unfortunately i'm pretty bad at this, i'm givin in almost every time around 6th day. My best streak is only 13 days.
P is sooo obviously bad. I feel almost retarded after using it, compared to being few days off. But yet i still watch it! What the hell ?!
Few years ago i told to myself that i will not be addicted to anything, i was refusing cigarettes, alcohol, drugs. And here i am. Addicted to this weirdly destructive habit. I honestly would trade cigarette addiction for this, any day.

Im so sick of it. I feel like i was not determined enough before. I had 8 day streak recently, i of course failed, and for a few seconds after relapse i was thinking about suicide. Not that i would do that, but thought just showed itself out of nowhere. And i think its my wake up call. I have to win with this by all means. I have to change my life.

△ Im going to live every day by this triangle. Vertex one is physical activity, two is commitment (no PMO), three is studying.
That's it. Just three things that every day should be all about.

Three simple things that should change my life. I will change it. I will get out of this stupid trap. At all costs!